After some really hard work, my inner voice has taken on a brand new tone. As I sat back in my pool float today, I actually heard these words inside my own head. “Relax kid. Enjoy your life”. So that is my mantra for the week. We spend years pondering our purpose in life. Perhaps it is more simple than we ever imagined. Love hard, speak easy, be kind and enjoy the precious life you’ve been given. Have a blessed day.
Today I am reminded to just be myself. There are times when no matter what I do, I will just never please everyone all the time. I used to carry such guilt based on others reactions to choices I made in my life. Today I am happy to report I am free. I am free from judgement, guilt, blame and the constant desire to be perfect by someone else’s standards of who I should be. One of my favorite quotes of all time…
The world will adjust.
Some days there is a brutal battle between my mind and body. One part of me wants to sit in peace while the other part incessantly reminds me why sitting is not an option. The mind is a powerful thing. Learn to tame it or it will take control over you. Repeat after me…peace is good. Thoughts are generally a waste of time. Take that walk. Enjoy the outdoors. Practice inner peace. It’s okay not to have a plan or agenda. It is healthy to take time to rejuvenate your soul. My intention today is to allow peace to fill me up and I extend that intention to you as well. Be at peace. Be the peace the world desperately needs right now.
I have a feeling that last night was a hint of what is coming. I haven’t had a sleepless night in quite a while but last night seemed to go on forever. This is the second night in a row where I was awakened by nightmares that sent me into complete panic.
On Monday, we drove four hours to take my daughter to college orientation. I guess that’s where the reality of her leaving really took hold. I walked around this intimidating campus choking back pain as I realized this would be her new home. No more checking her bedroom at night to make sure she was safe and sound. No more rides to Dairy Queen or meeting her for lunch in the middle of the day. The world as I knew it was about to come crashing down around me and like it or not, I was not given a choice or time to adjust.
My heart is heavy. I am grieving for the little girl I am desperately trying to let go of. I don’t always recognize this new face or the body that is the same size as mine. Wasnt it just yesterday that I was singing Barney songs and taking her to the park in that beat up red wagon? In my dreams, my fear is in control so I make the decision to stay awake. I wrestle with so many thoughts I cannot control. How will I stand to live in this house that will feel so empty? What will life be like without her in it everyday? My eyes are tired and the answers escape me. I need sleep but it still won’t come. One day at a time I remind myself as I crawl out of bed drained and weary. One day at a time is all I can handle. I may not be able to take on months at a time but 24 hours is something I know I can tackle.
Appreciate your life as it is today. We live in a constant state of change and we have to embrace what is right there in front of us each and everyday.
It’s very hot here today. Earlier I found myself floating in the pool thinking there was nowhere else I would rather be. It’s taken me several years but slowly and surely I have learned to relax. In this fast paced, busy world so many of us struggle to find a way to relax. Feeling calm and allowing ourselves to rest have become a thing of the past. I read Facebook posts about friends spending the entire weekend running from one sporting event to another and I cringe at the thought. Some have every week of the summer planned out but for me and my family, summer is a time to recover and rest. The day doesn’t have to be jammed with activities for life to be meaningful. All these activities and ridiculous things we tell ourselves we have to do are just things. Peace of mind and a moment to just breathe will be much more beneficial than a schedule that leaves us feeling drained and exhausted. It’s almost as if the notion of balance has been lost. I’ve been chasing it my entire life and I’ve worked hard to find out what that means for me. So today, find the balance you need. Learn to say no to the things that don’t really matter and yes to the things that do. You may think those decisions are impossible to make but you have way more control than you think.
We can certainly blame others for our words and actions but at the end of the day we own every decision we make. I remember as a small child using someone else as an excuse for my behavior. My mothers response was always the same, “if someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?” Of course my answer was always no. Why as a society do we have the need to place blame on someone? Why do we feel the need to inflict shame on someone already going through a difficult set on circumstances? What the world needs is a little less shaming and a lot more loving and understanding. Which category do you fit into? Are you a shamer or an understander?
Today is Friday. Isn’t that reason enough to feel grateful on this glorious day? As I walked into target earlier to buy a cake mix, I thought of all the reasons I am grateful that my husband is the father of my children. He is a man who exudes kindness, gentlesess and compassion. He is a man who listens with the intent of hearing and answers with the intent of challenging one to think beyond his or her usual limits. He loves chocolate cake. So we are kicking the weekend off with a cake baked with love and gratitude in his honor. What are you feeling grateful for today? Let’s share it far and wide.