I just realized that today is the 1 month anniversary of starting my blog. At first it was just an idea I wanted to explore. It didn’t take long though to become something so much more. It’s such an amazing opportunity that I get to write down the story of my life. Sometimes I write about things that make me laugh, and sometimes I write the words that are too difficult to speak with my voice. Someday,I hope to put all the chapters of my life into one book and leave it in the hands of my kids to remember me when I am no longer in this world. But tonight, it’s about you. Thank YOU, and YOU, and YOU for reading my stories and allowing me to have a voice. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel to have people that are genuinely interested in what I have to say. It makes me feel important and that is something that is a rare gift in today’s world. You are all wonderful! Whether you are just passing through or keep coming back day after day. Again, from the bottom of my heart, a great big THANKS!
Imagine the beauty you would miss in the world if you could only see in black and white. For it is in the midst of all color, our world truly shines. My intention for this wonderful world is that our sight goes much deeper than what we can see with our human eyes. For it is the color of our very soul, and not the color of our skin, that in the end, matters most. Here is something to ponder, have you ever wondered why we all have the same color beating heart? Maybe we should place our intent and focus on the ways we are all the same and less focus on the differences that are tearing us apart. Maybe, just maybe the world would be better off if we were all color blind… I changed my mind.
I have loved you since the day you were born. I remember looking into your little eyes and holding you for the first time and a new chapter of my life began. I was your Godmother and responsible for your well being and for nurturing your soul. There was nothing I loved more than spending time with you and watching you grow. I remember your first steps and your first words. I always knew how smart you would become because you could remember every word to every video you watched. You would sit on the steps with your bottle when we didn’t know enough to put you to sleep. I watched you play basketball and soccer and sat proudly as you were inducted into the National Honor Society. You always filled my heart to the brim with love and I am so proud of the person you’ve become. I remember sitting at your graduation wondering when did time slip away. Where was the little boy that used to make me laugh until I cried. Remember when you came to visit and you experienced your 1st round about? You were so funny, I couldn’t help but drive around 100 times! The memory still brings a smile to my face. I looked forward to summer, when you would come to visit me, and it broke my heart when you would drive away. I missed so much of your every day life living so far away, but have always held you close in my heart. I will always be here to offer advice or if you need it, just to listen. You are safe with me and I will always take care of you. You were my first love, and taught me how it felt to care about another more than myself.. Life is wonderful. Let it be. Life is an adventure, sometimes it’s bumpy, but I promise it will be amazing. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Don’t get caught up worrying about the journey ahead, enjoy where you are today. If you are stuck between the past and the future you will never be present. It is only when you learn to be present that you will find clarity. Quiet the storm inside your mind so you can find your inner peace, for it is there where you find all the answers you seek. Learn to feel peace and truth, it will always see you through. You have a wonderful life ahead of you. Get caught up in the moments that serve you, they are like the wind, feel them and just let the others pass through. I can’t wait to watch your life unfold. Let it be. Wherever you are, be there completely. That is the secret. Trust in God, and in your own instincts, and trust your life will always be as it should. Don’t fight the circumstances , people, or situations that cross your path, for they are important lessons shaping you into the person you are meant to be. Embrace them, every one.
Little girl with the big blue eyes and curly hair. Could any child be more beautiful than you? You probably never noticed me stare, but sometimes I couldn’t take my eyes off you. You were always so silly and sneaky as a little girl. Hiding from grandma and sticking your tongue out at your mom.You used to lovingly bend over to give Kayleigh a kiss and then hit her when you thought no one was watching. Of course you were only 2, but I knew you were going to give us all a run for our money. You, my little God daughter would be a fun little challenge. You were always so fiery and full of life. I am still amazed you can eat an entire box of chocolate in one sitting and not even gain a pound. You are independent and not afraid of standing alone. You are caring and I can tell so many people admire you. I see that because I stalk you on Facebook and twitter. That’s my job you see, to watch over you and guide you to stay on the right path. There are so many challenges being a teenage girl. I know how hard it is for you. You are smart and kind and you will have a hard time because you are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. That is a combination that causes others to become jealous. I know your heart is guarded and you are so quiet. Learn to open up and love with your whole heart. It is then that you will know real joy. You are serious and wise beyond your years. Be playful, laugh and put a silly mustache on your finger and hold it up to your mouth. Its okay to be silly once in awhile. Look at your relatives. And never, ever stop dancing. I remember watching you dance the part of the doll from the Nutcracker in the living room when you were a little girl. I saw your passion way back then that you carry deep inside your amazing soul. Embrace that passion and put it into everything you do. I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as I watched you finally get your chance to be that doll up on stage. Oh, how you shined! You danced like an angel and it was a moment I would never forget. Your dream of dancing that part and my dream of watching you finally came true. You are sometimes a monster on the outside, but as frail and tender as a kitten on the inside. Let others get to know you because they will really miss out if you don’t let them in. You are smart, and strong, and have so much inside of you to give. Stay true to who you are because you are one of a kind. Remember life is a dance. Be present in every scene. Carry that confidence and grace you feel into everything you do. And don’t forget to relax your face and breathe. You can always count on your poise and strong dancer legs to support you through the most difficult times. Don’t forget to smile and enjoy every minute, because unlike a recital, life doesn’t always offer an encore, but will be filled with many scenes. I love you to pieces and wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I am so proud to be your Aunt and your Godmother. If you ever feel sad or alone, read this and remember you are loved…..
Yes, I know the title seems a bit bizarre but I do have my reasons. If I were a cell phone, I would get all the attention in the world. Someone would check on me several times a day. I would be carried around carefully and handled with care. I would be held often and there would be little chance for me to be misread or misunderstood. I would install all kinds of apps. I would install that button that reads a response aloud, when the one I’m thinking about shouldn’t be spoken. I would install angry birds so when I was angry, I would find a way to let it all go and fly away. I would install emoticons to change my face to express what I’m really feeling inside. I would have mapquest so that I would never become lost and could always find my way back home. I would absolutely love my off button and use it often. Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to disconnect for a while and find a way to magically recharge? Or think about sleep mode…wouldn’t that come in handy when we are in the middle of a meeting or a long drawn out conversation where we could tune completely out without being noticed. I would install instagram so I could freeze those moments I want to remember in my life, and pull them out again whenever I need to revisit them. The beauty in being able to share those times with people all over the world. I would install Mytracks so I could remember where I’ve been and how far I have come. I would install kindle reader so I would read the whole book and stop judging it by only it’s outside cover. I would install i heart radio so if I didn’t know the right words to say, I could play them in a song. AND, couldn’t we all use a little more human FaceTime? I could go on and on, but these reasons alone are enough to make me a little bit jealous of that phone you are holding while I am trying to spend time with you. I cant help but imagine how differently I’d feel if I were that phone and not the person trying to hold your attention.
If you were given an opportunity to change three things in this world, what would you do to make it a better place? I’ve thought about this one a lot lately. I have made 3 small significant changes in my own life recently and the difference its made in my own life and the lives of my family are nothing short of amazing. I’ve realized that changing me CAN make a difference in my small world. And if those loved ones are affected by my change and then extend that out into their world, the change could be profound and far reaching.
So, back to those changes…
1) I would magically soften everyone’s heart. I would install a gauge that registers what your thoughts, feelings, words and intentions bring to another.
2) I would install a way for all of us to feel what that gauge reflects. I really believe that if people could “feel” and understand how they affect everyone around them, then they would give out better stuff, or at least think a little more before they speak, judge, and act.
3) I would install a sign over everyone’s heads that displays exactly what they are thinking. So many times, we are so caught up in taking things personally, that the way one interacts with us may have nothing to do with us at all. And sometimes, even after someone communicates with us, we often times were never able to HEAR their words.
Remember, your world is my world. We are all one and all connected. What we do to others, good or bad, we do to ourselves and to the rest of the world.
I would LOVE to hear what changes you would choose. Please leave a short message because I want to hear from you. Thanks!
1) Writes his name on his quart of chocolate milk, and draws a black line with a sharpie so he knows if anyone’s been drinking it
2) Uses double sided tape on the bottom of his alarm clock, so when you dust it, it will be facing the direction he likes it
3) He’s on his way to a restaurant he picked, and when everyone starts to complain, he pulls the car over over to the side of road and says he’s not going to move until someone tells him where to go
4) Tells you he hasn’t seen the remote, and later you find it in his pocket
5) Falls asleep with the tv remote in their hand so no one can change the channel, even after he’s fast asleep
6) He asks you where you want to go, and you respond differently than he was hoping, so he says “forget it we’re not going anywhere”
7) Comes back from the concession stand with 2 beers and 2 hotdogs, and after finishing it all says ” Oh, did you want something?”
8) Would rather have earwax oozing from his earlobes, than use the last Q-tip in the container that he’d have to fill back up.
9) He is bragging he did the laundry, and when you slip on your favorite shirt you’re not sure if you gained 30 pounds or if your shirt shrunk 3 sizes smaller.
10) When he hides the thin mints on top of the refrigerator because he knows you’re only 5 feet tall.
I had a rare and odd encounter this afternoon at a local Starbucks. There I was, sitting with a friend, when all of a sudden I felt a presence. I turned to see where it was coming from as a man walked through the door. It was no surprise at all, that he ended up sitting directly across from us because I knew, for whatever reason, we were meant to cross paths. I noticed as the man sat down that he appeared to be meditating. His eyes were slightly open and I could see a small part of the whites of his eyes. It didn’t take long for him to lean forward and engage in conversation with us. He was incredibly and refreshingly friendly and it was nice to have someone extend a conversation. So often, I sit in that same chair and watch people pass by. It’s almost as if I am invisible, the way they brush past me, seeing nothing but the phone they are staring down at in their hand. But this man was different.
It’s so funny how 2 people can see the same situation in such a different way. My friend was a bit leery of this man and referred to him as theatrical. She didn’t feel he was being genuine and I had to ask her this question. Is it maybe that people are so disingenuous that we can no longer recognize its counterpart in a crowd? Maybe, we have become so accustomed to people not looking into our eyes, or not extending acknowledgement of another’s presence that we look beyond the beautiful gift someone offers us when they acknowledge ours? It has definitely left me with something I cant help but give a great deal of thought.
She also told me that when I stepped away he threw his hands up and starting chanting. A few weeks ago, I might have considered this man mad, but now after practicing yoga and meditation myself, I understood him in a new way. He bid us farewell as he closed his eyes and reached his hand in our direction. My guess is he was sending energy, as he said he could feel we were going to have a wonderful 2013 and he would remember to keep our family’s in his prayers. I couldn’t help but hope, as I drove away, that there would be more people just like Nathan that would cross my path in the future. People that leave me feeling important and not making me wonder if my existence matters.