I am taking a new approach today. From now on, all weekend long, I am going to excitedly scream, “Wuhoo! It’s Almost Monday!” Seriously, why do we dread this day so much? I am going to try some reverse psychology and look at it as one day closer to next weekend. Some Mondays I don’t even want to get out of bed. BUT, THIS Monday, I am going to take one task at a time instead of dreading the the day as a whole. I’m looking for some company, perhaps a new movement. Anyone want to join me? What could be better that the day after the weekend becoming the best day of the entire week! We can certainly fool ourselves better in numbers right?
How do we fight our constant need for control? I am feeling very unsettled today. I know with spring break coming to a close the old familiar to do list of life will be greeting me at 6:30 tomorrow morning. This constant struggle to find balance has been a lesson 42 years in the making and today, I believe I had a small yet painful breakthrough. I couldn’t help shake the anxiety that has been creeping inside of me since the moment I woke up. I am feeling unsettled and agitated which is not at all how I want to spend this day. I have been working really hard at getting my inside in order. You know that quiet place where you sit in the presence of inner peace. However, somewhere along the way my scale tipped a little too far to the left and I lost control of my outside world and the world around me. I guess the day I impulsively cut off my hair should have been a sign of my impending doom. The more my inside calms, the more I need my outside to match or balance. So, I have skipped Yoga for 2 weeks and let my household chores slip out from underneath me. However, I let the kids relax and bring kids over to hang out nearly every day. So today, I started ripping at my makeup drawer. I have been scrubbing and cleaning and organizing to just find a little bit of that peace to replace my anxiety with. So, I guess I need to nurture all my different sides and find a way to keep them all in balance. Needless to say, I will be spring cleaning this week and getting back to Yoga and meditation. Catering to my spirit while neglecting my mind and body will never get me where I need to be. I will find a way to get it all done in between violin concerts, my husbands end of quarter at work, play practice, doctor appointments, and Chases birthday in the middle of the week. I guess I have a mild version of OCD. I think maybe we all do. One of my favorite sayings is, when you know better, you do better. Today is my week to start all over. This time, I will do better.
Dear person sitting in the corner at Starbucks. I am watching you write frantically as if you’re writing your last will. I can see the focus and urgency in the way you hold your pen. I can’t help but notice the way it moves across your paper after reading a few lines from the book that is propped open and taking up all the space in front of you. What are you studying and what are you struggling to become? I can’t help but wonder as I sit here staring at your tiny table while you are completely absorbed in your own productive world.
Dear man sitting in the cozy chair, why are you so busy today, iPad in one hand, and grasping your cell and texting with the other? I want to take your technology away and prop up your feet so you can sit back comfortably in the chair the way you are meant to be.
Dear young dad in the other chair sweetly holding your baby boy in your arms, caught up in conversation with the baby’s mom. Do you realize how fast that little guy will grow? Take a moment and look into his eyes because in the blink of an eye he will be 14 years old. Soak it all in because someday you will look back and miss these amazing days of watching him grow.
Dear 20 something sitting at the table in front of me. I see you scrolling and scrolling checking Facebook. What are you searching for? A comment, or perhaps that little green light that lets you know someone is available to chat. I am right here behind you waiting to talk. All you have to do is turn around.
I wish I could take all the tables and push them aside. What if I moved all the chairs and placed them in one gigantic circle? Would that lead to a conversation or would we still sit unattached? Would you tell me a story about your life that you haven’t told anyone else? Could we spend some time listening to each others voice instead of talking and communicating through our hands? It’s just a thought I had while sitting in this small space with people who are physically here, yet still very far away.
How do you spend your time? Do you find yourself around people and situations that make you feel happy inside, or do you put your time and energy into things that drain your spirit? I have made some pretty drastic changes when it comes to my personal time and energy. I used to think I was stuck when it came to how and where I would spend my days. I didn’t realize until it almost broke me in half that I do have a choice. I don’t have to participate in activities that leave me feeling sad and broken. I can choose who to interact with, who to have lunch with, who to surround myself with. I don’t need to be surrounded by the wrong people and circumstances so that I don’t feel alone, it’s the wrong people and circumstances that make me feel alone in the first place. I am so grateful I have found peace within myself. It is those moments I spend alone in silence, reading a book, or blogging that I feel inspired and alive. There is nothing more empowering or liberating than subtracting the negative things from your life. Time is so important, and we can’t get it back. Make a choice to use yours wisely…
There I was, in the kitchen, warming the bread for the fresh bruschetta mixture I had just whipped up. The stuffed shells had 10 minutes of cooking time left and for a Friday, at the end of spring break, I seemed to have it all together. My husband walked in just at the right time and announced he was starving. I pulled the fresh warm bread out of the oven and stood there looking like Sally Homemaker, smile plastered on my face waving at him like Queen Elizabeth with my oven mitt while he smiled lovingly and waved back. I thought I smelled something burning but I held his gaze and continued to wave. That is the moment I spotted flames coming from the top of my oven mitt. My daughter was rolling on the ground in hysterics yelling Mom, you really are on fire! I was screaming, how could you all stand there and watch me burn! This is definitely a night that will go down in our family history book! Hope you get a little chuckle out of it too!
IT HAPPENED TODAY! What you ask? Sit back a moment while I share my pain and you get a good chuckle out of this short little story.Today I was sitting in TGIFridays with a friend and our two 11 year old boys. I was in the middle of a deep and meaningful conversation with our very nice waiter when all of a sudden BAM! Out of nowhere, I was shot right in my eyeball with a flying straw paper. I couldnt see for 30 minutes and I was afraid my eyeball would flow right out of its socket along with the never ending stream of tears I was trying to see through. Somehow, luckily for me, I was able to make out the inappropriate gigantic grin on my sons face as he sat there holding his hand up to his astonished mouth while still gripping the deadly plastic weapon that had left its mark on my unsuspecting face. I wanted to drape that boy right over my knee, but he was saved just in time as this vision of someone smiling happily and wildly popped into my head. Guess who taught my son that dangerous and devious behavior? Come on, just one little guess! MY MOTHER! And although she wasn’t physically sitting at that table with us today, I couldn’t wipe the sight of the grin on her face out of my damaged mind. Good one Mom! You got me good. Payback is a real..
There are some lessons or situations I choose to share because I think there may be some value to pondering the underlying concept. This is one of those situations. I don’t know why I always have an “experience” when I pull up to a drive through window. I am thinking about video taping my next few excursions so you can actually see the situations with your own eyes.
Last night we hopped in the car at 10pm and drove to the nearest McDonalds for a late night ice cream treat. We pulled up to the window and the young man behind the window mumbled something that we couldn’t quite comprehend. So, my husband asked if he could repeat himself and he replied, “You have the 2 flurries, an ice cream sundae and two vanilla cones right?” We couldn’t help but smile at each other because this drive through experience was really going well. Then, as the young man handed us our change, something fell to the ground. He stuck his head out of his window and searched long and hard. Then he said, “No big deal, it was just a penny.”
I could feel my daughters mood turning to dread as I turned around and asked her what she thought about the whole situation and how she would’ve handled it. I must say I was very proud when she told us she would have taken another penny out of the drawer to make up the difference. However, she also admitted she would probably have been too lazy to walk outside and pick the fallen penny up. Thus came the lesson of balancing your drawer at the end of the night. I could’ve ignored the whole scene, but I think it’s imperative to teach the kids how to handle themselves properly in real life. I am saddened that they really just don’t know.
The whole situation made me think about an inspiring post I read a little over a week ago. This young girl that I follow that has been on several mission trips to other countries. She wanted to find a way to make the world a better place. She explained to her young class that there are people in other countries that do not have clean water to drink. She encouraged them to fill a large ziplock baggy with all the pennies they found lying around their house. Once the bag reached a certain mark, the bag would hold 25.00 dollars in pennies, enough to provide clean water for someone for an entire year.These young kids, inspired by this young teacher, stood proudly holding their bags while smiling for the picture. What an inspiring story. So, the thought of this young man not seeing the value or potential of this single penny gave me a reason to tell my story. I will not quit on these kids. Hopefully with a little bit of teaching and patience, they will start to think for themselves and find new and exciting ways to make the world a better place. Maybe by helping them see their own value, they will also be able to see the value in everything around them.
I couldn’t help but feel amazingly grateful today. I thought back to how many times I would see a new and peaceful sight for the first time and wish I could recreate that very scene in my own yard. A scene of peace and tranquility just for me where I could go to escape the noisy and busy world of everyday life. Some place quiet where I could be in the moment surrounded by an abundance of fresh air that I could breathe into my tired lungs to rejuvenate my body with the energy around me. Well, we finally filled up our hot tub and as I was sitting in there looking around me, I realized how very lucky I am that the place I’ve always longed for does exist, and all I have to do is walk out my back door. Tonight I am grateful, for all that I have and all that I am. What are you grateful you? Do you take the time to notice?