Walls Around A Heart

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I read something today that affected me deeply. I read the words of someone I grew up with and couldn’t deny the pain I felt in my heart. She spoke of feeling alone and building a brick wall around herself to shield her from the pain that comes along with letting people get too close. It’s true, people are misguided. They are unexplainably hurtful and harmful to the very soul that is the total essence of who we are. Her words keep playing over and over again in my mind. There are times when we hurt so bad that we grab the phone looking for someone to help us through the pain. It is in that moment that we sit there awkwardly searching for an idea of who to call when the reality of feeling alone really sinks in. I have these moments often. Just today I wondered who I would call if my car broke down. Because my husband travels so frequently, I wondered what I would do if there was a real emergency and he was away. As sad as her words made me feel, I realized that I am not alone. If she feels that way, maybe there are others too. I also realized something else. If we shut ourselves off from the world because of a small group of people who have caused us harm, aren’t we really helping them hurt ourselves more? Yes, we feel protected by the walls we build but we also hurt the ones around us that continually attempt to climb over them. But, if we open ourselves up to the opportunity of allowing someone to hurt us, we also open ourselves up to someone really being able to love us. It’s a predicament for sure but one that has to be worth taking. There is so much kindness around us if we have the courage to look. There is so much love around us if we learn to see beyond our pain, and there is so much help around us if we hold out our arms and let go of the load we feel we must carry alone.

People come into our lives for a purpose. People come into our lives to teach us lessons. It is sometimes the people that hurt us the most that teach us what we need to learn the most. Don’t ever let anyone have the power to kill your spirit. That spirit lives inside of you and no-one will ever be able to get to it. Love deeply, trust enough to get hurt, and love enough so your heart feels like it will explode outside of your chest. Only if we take a risk do we allow ourselves a chance to feel so deeply our hearts may burst. One thing is for certain, it will always be cold, dark and lonely inside the confines of the walls we build around ourselves. So, build a window in that wall to let in a little light and make time to feel its warmth. And know the power and peace that comes with knowing there’s a way out that will provide a whole different view if you ever find the courage to venture out.

6 thoughts on “Walls Around A Heart

  1. Beautifully written again. Sometimes it’s hard to drag oneself out of the hole and also like most things over time people adjust and get used to sometimes being alone. We die alone in reality. Morbid I know. I find friendship scary yet wanted and that’s sometimes a complicated battle x

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