When The Music Speaks

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I have been carrying a pretty large load of angry around with me over the last few weeks. I realized that I am projecting that anger out onto others who have no other choice than to be there around me. As I was driving in the car today there were a group of songs that came on, one after the other. It sounded like a playlist I already have on my ipad. I wanted to cry. The music, the words and the feeling all came rushing at me fast enough to completely catch me off guard. My pain was there in the passenger seat riding there beside me. It has become my traveling companion and no matter how quickly I jump in the car and hit the gas pedal, I can’t escape it. It is part of me whether I give it my attention or not. Ignoring it and denying it will not release me from the consequences of the two of us being chained together. We are one like it or not. I realized it is my pain masquerading around as anger that shields the people around me from who I really am and what I am carrying around inside. I think my daughter is a lot like I am. When she needs love, she pushes people away. When she wants attention, she negatively acts out. I think that wounded child forever lives inside of us. And if we don’t hug and love the little me, she forgets she is a grown adult and acts out like a teenage child. The lessons we need to know will come to us when the time is right. Today has been one of those “just right” days. When the music speaks, the heart listens. It sneaks in quietly far beneath the depths that spoken words could ever reach. Music helps us heal and music helps us feel. Sometimes we have to put on some earphones and go through that playlist song after song until we feel the peace and the strength in the lyrics. And the times we feel weak we should sing with all our heart until the lyrics turn into words and we are whole again.

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6 thoughts on “When The Music Speaks

  1. Your authenticity is appreciated: a clear window’s view into a good soul. You are putting good words to something I think is hard to put words to … a relational context for, and with, pain … and music. When the music speaks … Irony, maybe? In a place of pain we often feel alone, even if we are with others: my experience. Keep on. T

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