Take A Look Behind You

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When is the last time you allowed yourself to drift back to a different time? A time when your world was full of innocence and the weightlessness of feeling young and invincible lifted you off the ground until you swore you could fly?

I don’t know why but we went for a hike a few weeks ago and there was a row of boulders all lined up. As I watched my daughter jump from one to the other, I saw myself all those years ago leaping across the rocks that had become my personal path to the bus stop. Every day and every afternoon I would skip those rocks without a care in the world. When we are young we have no concept of fear. We are bold and adventurous and always searching for the most courageous way to flip off the jungle gym. But then something happens. We notice that others are watching us and we start acting according to the way they think we should behave . We trade our uniqueness for the magic token that makes us fit in. We become so consumed in what everyone thinks of us, that the very essence of who we are becomes hidden behind who people think we should be.

Sometimes it’s important to go back. Find that child that you once were and watch her from afar. Take a good look and watch her play. Watch her run and roll down a hill. Watch her act silly and giggle until her stomach hurts. Notice her freedom and the sparkle in her eyes. Reconnect and become one. You may just find that the younger version of you had it right all those years ago and the older one, neglecting her true self, made decisions that took her even further away from who she knew she could be. The truth is this. There is no magic token that will ever make you feel like you completely belong. Besides, if we were made to be the same, God would have created robots instead of people. Be proud of who you are and be different. Sometimes when you are different, you stand alone, but at least then people will notice you.

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6 thoughts on “Take A Look Behind You

  1. For the last year or so, I have really been into vermicomposting, This is a process whereby worms create some of the most nutrient rich organic fertilizer that exists. A very simplified explanation is that you have a bin that is contains organic materials like leaves, and various forms of bedding, such as shredded paper and coconut husks. You add red wiggler worms and feed them vegetables and a variety of other food scraps. The worms eat and process the decomposing materials and poop out castings. The castings and other microorganisms living in the bin are the main components of the fertilizer.

    At one point in the vermicomposting process, you have to separate the worms from the compost. The worms are put back into the worm bin and the fertilizer goes into the garden. There are different ways of doing the separation, but I thoroughly enjoy doing it by hand. I love to feel the worms crawling through my fingers, or to pick up a great ball of worms and feel them wiggle in my hand.

    When I read your most recent post, I remembered being in 4th grade, living in an army base in Germany. During lunchtime at school, I would crawl under the fence of the school yard and go into the woods. There I would collect and play with the snails. I have never thought of how my present day fascination with worms is connected to my childhood pastime Thanks for the memory!

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  2. I love that taking us back in time and what larina said just that. I’ve had lots of those recently and I see myself in my eldest in new ways all the time it’s uncanny he reminds me of my childhood so often x. Ps I have put this in my re blog scrapbook to remember another good lesson x

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