Thoughts On Disappointment

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We have become a population disappointed. We are disappointed in the movie we just went to see and we are disappointed in the meal we just paid to eat. We have become convinced if every second and every bite and every experience isn’t absolutely perfect all the time then it wasn’t worth our time. Imagine if we looked for the good moments instead of pointing out all the bad. Sure, maybe the food wasn’t so great but after all you didn’t have to prepare it or clean it up, so isn’t that worth smiling about?

I think our expectations have become too large and our appreciation of the small things has become too little. I see it when I am around different types of crowds. Some people are miserable. They think everything is awful and they complain about everything and everyone. Nothing seems to make them happy. Nothing seems to be good enough. Maybe what isn’t good enough is not everyone and everything that surrounds them but actually their own attitude itself. Then there are people that smile, find the good in everything and really enjoy themselves no matter who they are around or where they are. They laugh and conversation with them is easy and they are just pleasant to be around. It’s worth taking a look and asking yourself one very important question? If I wasn’t me, would I be a person I would want to hang out with? It’s a tough question but one that deserves an honest answer. Those are my thoughts on disappointment. I’d love to hear what you think.

Help! I Can’t Sleep

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I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I watched the clock change before my eyes as I struggled to find a sense of quiet that would afford me the opportunity to drift off to sleep. Isn’t it amazing how we can walk into a room in the middle of the day and have no idea why we are standing there in the first place? Then something magical happens at nightfall and everything becomes crisper and clearer. It’s as if the brain magically over magnifies every single thought that races through my head. The tiniest situation feels like a major ordeal in the middle of the night. I toss and turn and fight the voices in my head searching for some solitude from the noise that’s keeping me awake. What do you do to help you fall asleep? How do you quiet everything down so you can drift off to a peaceful sleep? I have tried the voice led meditations in the past and they have worked well but I am not the only one in the bed. I am looking for some suggestions and solutions for those nights that feel like they are never going to end.

What’s In Your Pantry?

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I sometimes think we take for granted how easy our lives are. When things are going well, we forget there are people hungry and homeless just struggling through to get from one day to the next. We complain about the little things instead of looking around and counting our blessings.

Yesterday I was driving past a church. There were people lined up all around it. Naturally, I was curious, so I slowed down to see what was drawing the crowd. It was in that moment, out of the corner of my eye I saw boxes of cereal. I don’t see well anymore so it was a miracle in itself that I caught sight of what stood inside two open doors. It was a food pantry and all those people were lined up waiting to get some food. My heart sank a little when I realized what was taking place. All around me most people are overweight and gorging themselves with food. Gluttony is alive and well everywhere. I’d like to tell you I am not guilty of it myself but that would be dishonest. It makes me wonder, if everyone just ate the amount of food they NEEDED, how much food would be left to give? Our church often asks for donations for our food pantry and I have finally heard the call.

The truth is I have no idea what it feels like to not know where I am going to lay my head at night. I have no idea what it feels like to REALLY be hungry. You hear people say “I’m starving” all the time when they haven’t had a meal in three hours. Imagine not having a meal in days. I am sad that we have become so wrapped up in over indulgence. Why is it we can’t just take what we need and move on? Why do we have to eat beyond the point of feeling full or take beyond what we actually need. It is so hard to fathom that there is real suffering going on all around us. It’s hard to imagine that people live and survive without food and water. The world is so unbalanced.

I hope today you look around you and stop complaining. Try it for one day. Look around and be grateful for all you have, especially the little things like a comfortable home and a bed to lay down in at night. Be grateful when you take a sip of water and remember how much that would mean to those who have none. Eat slowly and remember food is not for pleasure but for fuel to keep our bodies running and functioning. Notice those things that others would give anything to have. Sometimes when we become conscious of something we never thought of before, it changes who we are. Live a life of gratitude and stop taking everything that is bad in your life and focusing on it. Stop talking about it, stop thinking about it, and replace those thoughts with positive ones. No matter how bad you think your life is, there is something to be grateful for. If you can’t find that something, you should take a good look at who’ve you become.

What The Hoop

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Some of you may be thinking, I hope she’s not going to talk about her hula hoop again but come on, you knew this was coming. I am proud to say I can now hula hoop to the left and right with either foot in front. Yeah, I can even do it on one foot. What I will tell you is this. I have been doing it now faithfully for quite a few weeks. The minimum is usually 15 minutes a day but sometimes I make it to 35 minutes. When would I have time you ask? Believe it or not, I hula hoop when I am talking on the phone, even watching tv. Sometimes I jump up and hula hoop each time a commercial comes on.

I am happy to report my body has changed. I am seeing a waist where all my life I had none. My core is a lot stronger and I don’t have as much back pain as I used to doing certain yoga moves. In fact I am able to do poses I wasn’t even able to do before. It’s been a wonderful way to get stronger when in the past planks were excruciating for me. Yes it is weighted but only 3 pounds. It has been worth my time and effort and the multitasking is quite amusing. Even the kids are trying to come up with new challenging ways to use it.

If you are looking to tweak your mid section and strengthen your core in a fun, pain free way, I highly recommend you give it a try. 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there really add up. I am ready to take it to the next level and order one with a tad bit more weight. Thanks for suffering through my review but you knew it was coming.

Change Is Coming!

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Well it’s summer and I have no doubt it will be interesting. I am used to being home alone in my clean controlled environment filled with peace and quiet. Schools out now and things are about to change. Have I mentioned recently how much I dislike noise? It as if every little sound is magnified by 1000 in my tiny little ears. My kids are noisy. One makes ridiculous sounds and the other sings ALL THE TIME and not very well either. Sometimes the voice in my head screams “SHUT UP!” But thankfully it never comes out of my mouth. I don’t see the younger one very often. He is very hyper and fast faced and he can slip in and out of a room looking like a racing blur. The only way I know for sure that he was really here is that I walk into the cabinet door he leaves open or find an empty bag of Cheetos next to the full garbage bag.

Today, we are going to learn about teamwork. We will work together to get all the chores done before free time will be allowed. I am going to do my darnedest to follow through and teach my kids about responsibility and doing their part to pull their load. I have handed out the first list in case someone forgets what I told them to do. Then, and only then, can they play video games and have friends over and enjoy all the free time they want. Someone has to teach kids about time management, completing what is expected of them and most importantly doing so with a good attitude and not with a giant chip on their shoulder. This idea that someone else will pick up the slack or it’s someone else’s job and sense of entitlement ends right here in this house with me. Wish me luck. It just started and there’s already been some eye rolling. One thing at a time right?

Do You Believe in Karma?

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More often than not, when I hear someone refer to Karma it is a wishful thinking that another person will get what we feel they deserve. I’ve thought about this for quite some time and the whole theory behind it really bugs me. Who the heck are we to feel that anyone deserves anything in the first place? Do we have the power or even the right to judge another to the point that we hope we eventually see harm come their way? Doesn’t the mere thought of it at all bring the very same Karma our way as well?

This may be overly optimistic but I would like to believe I have the same chance as anyone else that my beliefs about Karma are true. What if we brought about our own Karma by the way we think? What if we could see the good in everyone and everything and see behind the one thing we all have in common…our flaws. What if it was our intention that everyone would be happy and be kind and be good. What if our Karma is actually what we think we deserve? How many people do you know that sell themselves short? How many people do you know think they are inferior and will never have the life of those around of them? What if our Karma is the culmination of our own thoughts directly causing our own reality?

I read something somewhere a while ago. It suggested we should ask ourselves one very important question. How do you see the world? What if the word you answer with becomes how the world reacts to you? We cannot change the people around us. We cannot change every circumstance or event. We can change our perception and how we react. If one mean person alters our entire view of people and the world, what are we going to get in return? What if we could say, yes, people are jerks, but there is so much kindness out there if we dare to see behind the blind spots that have wounded our egos. People make bad choices. They act in ways that are harmful and hurtful. We are so much more than our actions and words. Don’t we all deserve to live a long, happy life? Don’t we all deserve to sit down at the end of the day and feel content and loved and worthy of everything that is good in life? Maybe our intent should be that everyone that harms us learns and grows, becomes better and actively does better. We are a work in progress. Just because we grow in years does not necessarily mean we grow in morals and character. Let that be your intention and watch the world around you change. What you resist persists, at least that’s what the experts say so I would like to take a new path. I am hopeful that we all have the potential to change and contribute to society in a positive way. Sometimes our reaction to a person who leaves a negative mark can change that person in a profound way. Have you ever thought about the process in reverse? You be better and other people will be better too. Don’t stoop to a level you find shameful regardless of how much your emotions are tugging at you.

Back to Karma. Ask yourself one basic question. Do you associate Karma with bringing about bad or bringing about good? You might be surprised at your answer.

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Words To Remember

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Words to live by…thank you Maya Angelou for your inspiring wisdom.

– “I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”-Maya Angelou

Should I Stay or Should I Go

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There are moments that replay over and over again in my mind because I question whether or not I did the right thing. I’d like to be able to let it float away from me but I truly believe life hands us the same situation in many different forms until we get it right. So there I was sitting with my daughter waiting for the Thunder game to start. A man walked in and told me we were in his seats. I told him there was one available in my row and one seat available in the front row. So, to clarify, row A has 7 seats, row B has 5 seats and row C which is behind the glass has 4 high stools. I explained to the man that the seats are usually on a first come basis and he marched out to get a stadium worker. Of course my husband was downstairs with my son getting his face painted so it was just me and my 15 year old daughter. So the man walked in and asked to see my ticket. I was so embarrassed and taken back by the mans sense of entitlement and rudeness that I could not locate my ticket at the time. My daughter bolted because she was humiliated and this man was causing a scene so she sat in the back of the suite out of the way.

I guess it’s important to mention here that no one actually pays for a ticket. Names are drawn at work and the ticket is a gracious perk. Never once had I experienced such a scene. People have always just been grateful for the opportunity to attend such a wonderful event. So, because I couldn’t find my ticket, I had no choice but to get out of the seat. Seriously, I was humiliated and I just wanted to go home. Do you think it’s a coincidence that this very tall, very heavy man picked tiny little five foot me and my teenage daughter to bully and throw his weight around. I felt crushed and bullied and disrespected. Not because my husband is the General Manager but because he chose me, a small woman to spew his wrath.

After I calmed myself down, I discovered that we held tickets B 2-5. That only left 1 seat available in our row so the man didn’t even have two tickets to sit there. We were in the right seats all along so I have to ask myself why an arena worker would insist those seats were that mean mans. Was he too just automatically siding with an aggressive man over a woman who appeared to be clueless? I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I am more than curious.

I am really upset with myself because I remained behind the glass the entire game. What bothers me most is that my moving and allowing that bully to sit there gave the impression to everyone else in the suite that I was indeed wrong. Is that why it is bothering me so much? Because to others it may have appeared that I was the entitled one pulling rank or the fact that I find myself getting dumped on by total strangers frequently. Even my husband felt bad that I am always involved in situations innocently. I ask you, what should I have done? Was it right to not make everyone more uncomfortable than they already were and just move on and enjoy the game or should I have set the situation straight and put everyone in their place? I hate entitlement and I abhor when people are not grateful when they are afforded opportunities. I tried so hard to focus on my gratitude for being present at such an exciting game and after the first quarter I relaxed and let myself enjoy it. There have been many times I have let people walk all over me, even in my own home, and to keep the peace I have remained silent. Each time it happens, the scars become ripped open and the pain comes rushing back. I pray I learn to find balance when I can handle the situation with a cool head and do so respectfully. I am a hot head and it is hard for me to keep my emotions separate from a situation. I have been practicing for 43 years and still I haven’t gotten it right. I am curious though, what would you have done?

Im Just Too Busy

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A few times now, we have made a trip back to a town we used to live. I have made the effort to get in touch with people we used to hang around. What I am learning is I have mistaken many drive-bys for friends. So, what is a drive-by you ask? A drive by is someone who briefly waves at you as your lives blow past one another. It is difficult to move past this stage of friendship today. People have time to be buried in their cell phones for hours but when you try to get together with someone in their own town when you are driving 24 hours to be in an area for less than 48 hours and people tell you they are sorry they are just too busy to see you, you scratch your head and say, ah right, of course you are.

It really is sad how stingy people have become with their time. You can’t even have a conversation with someone that they are not distracted or interrupted by some type of new technology. But, to tell someone you don’t have ten minutes in a 24 hour day to make real face time with someone who considered you were even important enough to make an effort in the first place. Shame On You. The bottom line is this, a person always has time for what a person wants to do. So don’t string someone along and act like you are available. Tell the truth. You are not worth my time, because that truth deserves a lot more respect than the run around we give leading people on.

My advice to myself and everyone reading this. If you are holding a rope and fighting to keep people part of your life by holding on with dear life while they do nothing but dangle,LET GO OF THE ROPE! Even though it is hard in this day and age, find someone who deserves your time and effort. Find someone who isn’t too busy. Find someone who makes an effort. It is better to have one reliable friend than tons of drive-bys. Friendship is like a tug of war, not a dangling rope. There should be someone equally pulling their weight on both sides so that the relationship is almost always balanced. I can tell you this, I am NEVER too busy for a friend and now it’s time to find some better ones. It’s all about choices. We can keep making the same mistakes and end up in the same place, or we can decide to make some better ones that will lead to a whole new place. There is only so much room in your life. Clean it out so there is room for something new.

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