Closing Doors

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I remember the day like it was yesterday. The memories came flooding back tonight as I watched the scene between a man and his dying granddaughter.
Sometimes you just know that when you turn and walk out of someone’s door it will be the last time you will ever see them again. I remember taking my grandmothers hand and studying her face. I thought that maybe if I looked at her long enough, I would remember every detail. I begged her to open her eyes so I could see them one more time but she just didn’t have the strength. I felt the bones crushing in my chest as I turned to walk out of her room that day. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The heart knows what the heart knows and mine was giving me a heads up on the pain that was about to come.

We are so quick to pick and choose who we allow in and who we throw out of our lives. We treat people like beanbags who we throw around at our convenience forgetting that our words and our actions scar the people who have loved us at our best and have always been there to help us through our worst. We forget that a lifetime is not forever. Sometimes we say goodbye by choice and other times there is no other choice.

Death knocks loudly on everyone’s door. It is a knock we cannot ignore. Be careful, for the door you slam in someone’s face to keep them away may be the very door you stand in while you watch them being carried away. You will stand there alone and seek comfort in your pride. I wonder how that will feel, knowing you said goodbye long before you ever had to.

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