You’re Dismissed

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I’ve noticed a growing trend lately that makes me feel ill at ease. It’s growing at a rapid rate, and the more it takes off, the smaller we feel. I’m an observer, not a judger but a watcher. I notice things because I am less rushed than I up used to be, more focused. People are dismissive. There are so many examples swirling around in my head, I can hardly wait to get them on this page.

Let me start with my simple life. I am a stay at home mom. I wear many hats. I have feelings and value and underneath the tough exterior I carry there is this tiny innuendo that I just don’t matter. When I speak to someone and they don’t respond, how do you think that makes me feel? When I reach out to the world and it doesn’t respond, it makes me feel like I don’t exist. I feel invisible, ignored, not important….dismissed.

I’m not sure when or how this even started to become a normal way of life. It makes me sad. When I talk to my children and they don’t answer me, I feel unappreciated. When I email a teacher with worries and concerns and don’t get an email back, I feel like my concerns are passed over and not taken seriously. When teachers do not send me a weekly email required by my sons 504 I feel like a nuisance and a nag when I have to email them. When I try to have a conversation with my husband that leads to nowhere, I feel unheard. I have become the villain by continuously trying to force and encourage communication. When exactly did communication become a crime? When did life change so drastically that I have to feel bad for pulling teeth to get people to communicate?

Feeling dismissed is awful. It lowers our self esteem and makes us second guess our own worth. It is a shame that two seconds of someones respect and time are too much to expect anymore. How did things start to go this wrong? What could I possibly do about it? Should I back off and just come to expect that a response will most likely not be given or do I send this post out into the Universe and beg each and every one of you to do better than the norm. Make eye contact, respond to email, talk back to people when you are spoken to. We need to wage a war on this new eerie quiet, non existent communication that’s sweeping through our lives and slowly killing our spirits. People are important. Their concerns are important. There emails and words are important. I beg you and challenge you to make everyone feel that way. Make every person feel heard and respected and at the very least, noticed. Acknowledge them the best you can and don’t fall into the category of those who never respond. Hit your like button, leave a comment. Just do something to make people know someone is listening. It may not mean much to you but it will mean the world to the person on the receiving end.

8 thoughts on “You’re Dismissed

  1. I have felt this way before on many occasions and you right, it hurts. Like you, I don’t understand what is so difficult about at least acknowledging the fact that someone is being spoken to. A grunt, a look, something anything is better than being ignored. Ignoring someone, regardless of the reason, is nothing but hurtful. There is no excuse. You are right. People deserve to be heard. People have feelings and the majority of us don’t just speak to hear ourselves talk. We have a reason behind what we say and we deserve the respect and the love to have our thoughts heard and listened to, whether the person on the receiving understands or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m big on acknowledgment – but I also have to remember that not everyone communicates like I do, and that’s not easy!

    And, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you aren’t being a nag when you follow up on what the school should be sending! I told our VP the other day that I will always advocate for my son, and if a teacher ever mentions it to him in a negative way (again) that we’ll be having a face to face! 🙂

    It’s okay to ask for what you feel you deserve. If you feel you aren’t being heard or acknowledged, it’s okay to stop and tell the person “I’m talking but don’t feel like you are listening. I feel very disrespected that you can’t even make eye contact with me.” Sometimes the other person may not be aware, yes, they probably should be, but sometimes they just aren’t. And it’s totally okay to ask to not be dismissed! 🙂

    That’s my two cents – spend it wisely!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am working on the telling people part. That is great advice and I did it two times in the last few days. I made people hear me because what I had to say was important and valuable. It’s so hard sometimes because when we are treated like our words don’t matter we lose the will to use them. I am a mixed bag with school. Sometimes I get so emotionally drained it consumes me but I am an advocate of all things. I also have anxiety and headaches because of it. My heart is big and it wants to protect everyone and assure they get whatever they need or deserve. I always love and appreciate your perspective on things. We definitely think differently so it’s great getting a different view point. Thanks! ❤️

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