I’m feeling it again. That heaviness that is slowly crushing me one day at a time. This responsibility I carry sometimes weighs me down until I am completely stuck, trapped underneath it. I am responsible for two lives. I’m not talking about the responsibility of cooking a meal or getting kids to school and practice on time, I am talking about the responsibility I have to help guide them to be self sufficient, kind human beings. Everywhere I turn, incompetence is staring me in the eye. It’s like a gigantic head butt every time I have to deal with people, sadly even coaches and teachers. Like it or not, there are people that spend more time with my kids than I do but what are they teaching them? I will give you a small example. I got an email from a teacher late last night explaining the grading system in her class. Accountability is worth 5% of the grade. Do I have a problem with expecting accountability? Of course not, but when there is a double standard, the thought of the hypocrisy makes my heart cringe. It is no secret my son has a 504. It is required under the 504 and law that teachers follow the criteria to do their part to help Chase be successful in class. This particular teacher has not followed one single requirement so can you understand the fact that people who are not accountable in their own actions would have the audacity to grade my child on something they are not able to role model themselves? It’s like a double edge sword. 15% of my child’s grade will be based on behavior. What? When did we stop grading kids on the work they do in class and on their understanding of it? Are you kidding me? Behavior and respect are of the utmost importance but as part of the overall grade? Remember when there was discipline and consequences for bad behavior? Now we will simply deduct points from their grade? Seriously, is that the best option we have today? I tell my kid he’s the most important person in the world and a school bus leaves his entire team behind with the athletic director driving the bus? Geez, I guess you weren’t as important as I thought you were. There are some things people do that parents just cannot explain away. The best way anyone learns is from the hands on action of another human being. We learn by modeling behavior and we learn to respect the people whose words are consistent with what they are teaching us. I see a great deal of teaching through words, but the actions of the teachers tell a different story. Look at our leadership across the board. It is disappointing to say the least. I don’t like to pick on teachers, it’s just that they spend so much time with my own kids and that time is important to me. Kids are confused. My kids are confused. My own kids are asking me why doesn’t my own coach care? I don’t know. I’m starting to think many people don’t care about much anymore. When my daughter asks me where is God in this world that is falling apart, I don’t have an answer. When she asks me why doesn’t my coach try and make us better, I don’t have an answer. And when you ask me why teachers expect more from kids then they do themselves, still, I have no answer. I feel like I am carrying the burden of the village. My village is permanently out to lunch. My village is aloof, distracted and my arms are feeling tired. I can’t carry any more load than my own. I need people to be responsible in the role that they play. I can’t be everything to everyone and although I am trying, it is killing me. The questions are excruciating and if I’m being honest with myself, the answers are more excruciating than the questions themselves.
I pray people get their act together. I pray each and every one of us sees how the actions of one affect so many. We have got to do better. We have got to be better no matter what that takes. We are falling apart and our village is crumbling. We have to build it back up because no one can take on the burden alone.