Sometimes It Doesn’t Work Out

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How you handle something that doesn’t turn out the way you wanted says a lot about who you are. We have these expectations and we trick ourselves into believing the outcome will be the exact scenario that played out in our head. When it doesn’t happen, it’s so easy to get discouraged. Why, we might ask? We may even take it a step further and ask why doesn’t ANYThING turn out the way I want it to? It’s easy to jump on the pity train and that kind of attitude will certainly lead to your train eventually being derailed. Maybe you even like playing the victim and before you know it you are a victim of every circumstance. Maybe it’s all just random and things sometimes don’t turn out the way you wanted for no particular reason at all. You have to learn to shake it off, move on and leave it behind. It’s never easy but sometimes necessary. Tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to maybe experience something better. 

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It’s not always WHAT you say

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It’s so easy to look at a stranger and immediately recognize his or her behavior. Yesterday I was in the food store and the sound of coughing caught my attention.. It was a little boy probably around the age of three or four. He was coughing all over the fruit and the mom became very agitated. “I thought I told you to cover your mouth when you cough.” It wasn’t the words that were so bad but rather the tone of her voice. It was filled with complete disgust and clearly by the look of his sick little eyes, this boy should have been home in bed. Immediately, I was deflated. I recognize that tone. It is very familiar and I use it often. It took me witnessing it in a complete stranger and the sad reaction of a little boy to really understand the harm it does. Do we all get frustrated? Of course we do but announcing it to the world through the tone of our voice is really not necessary. The world doesn’t need our bad attitude, our exasperated tone, it is certainly bombarded by enough bad energy everywhere you look. What it does need is the random friendliness of the stranger who was behind me in the check out line who completely restored my faith in a trip to a local grocery store. He was nice, he was cracking jokes and more importantly, he put a great big smile on my face. Which stranger will you be today? Choose wisely.

The Future Holds My Hand

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How the reckless winds of change come and go
As years, my life, does disappear with time
If I could look ahead , if I could know
Would years flow together, like words in a rhyme

Are there years in my life, life in my years
Have I lived my life well, have I loved often
My eyes, are they happy or filled with tears
Or did my heart stay closed, open, soften

I have to live better, starting right now
The future is what I mold, my design
Stop wasting time, time wasting me, how
My mind and my spirit, they must align

Little things seem big, and big things get little,
The years of my life, starting to whittle

This is the last day of the poetry challenge. Many are curious about the criteria for the poems. This one is a sonnet, composed of 14 lines in a rhyming pattern of ABAB, BCBC, CDCD, EE. The prompt: future
Today’s device: chiasmus (key-AHS-mus). At its simplest, a chiasmus is essentially a reversal, an inverted crossing. Example: mind on my money and my money on my mind. This one was the hardest for me to write.

Go With The Flow

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Sick. That’s what I am today. I had a list of a million things I needed to do this week and the procrastinator in me pushed it all to today. Sometimes, life’s plan is different than my own and I have no other choice but to go with the flow. That is my message to you today. Don’t force life. Do what you can, grab a tube, be gentle with yourself, lay back and go with the flow. Tomorrow is another day.

And The Color of the Dress IS….

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It’s the middle of the night here and I cannot sleep. I decided to surf the net and it was bombarded with the question regarding a color of a dress. Is it blue and black or white and gold? I can tell you that my eyes saw white and gold but does it surprise me that people cannot agree on the color? Seriously, can we agree on anything these days? More and more I am realizing that our brains just work different ways. When it comes to perception, many times people interpret the same exact things entirely different ways. Can we trust our senses or even our beliefs? My guess is probably not. We have to learn to agree to disagree and just accept the fact that no two people see the same thing exactly alike. I’m not sure why people are freaking out about this ridiculous dress. Some say it is some sort of trick. I say it is a perfect example and a blatant reminder that we can’t seem to agree on much anymore. We need to switch our focus from who is right to openly respecting the differences in other human beings. My right is not your right and when it comes down to it, it has nothing to do with that at all. Our perceptions are unique and faulty and there’s not much more to say about it.

It’s a Balancing Act

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ISIS, Obama, floods, snow storms… It pains me to turn on the news. How do you stay informed while at the same time not allowing complete take over of doom and gloom. I think that’s why I love blogging so much. You don’t have to look very far to find the good stories, the ones that warm your heart and send tingles up your spine.

Everywhere I go, people are agitated. I see it when I drive, I hear it in the way the mom talks to her young child in the store. How do we get back to feeling excited, feeling good? We are on someone else’s clock and going along with a plan that is not our own, so how do we keep going and fight the urge to just throw in the towel? 

The older I get, the more I realize I have to schedule myself in. I have to say no to the rest of the world and say YES to me. It’s so important to find the balance between living and just going through the motions. What do you do to find balance? I’d love to hear about it.

Can You Forgive and Forget?

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Forgiveness is such a personal experience. For some, like me, it is easy to forgive. It just doesn’t feel good to be angry. I remind myself often that I am far from perfect. I say things and I do things that I often regret. In fact sometimes I am just plain ashamed of myself for the way I behave. We do things and say things when we are emotionally charged and sometimes there is just no turning back. It happens. We all do it so how could I possibly hold someone to a higher standard than I am capable of myself? When I forgive someone, I feel a lightness replace the heaviness that was weighing on my heart. I believe Louis B Smedes sums it up best with this thought provoking quote:

” To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that prisoner was you.”

Perhaps the desire to hold onto anger and the inability to let it go is the true roadblock to forgiveness. Maybe one wants to forgive but the anger has engulfed them so entirely that they cannot escape it’s simmering grip. It’s hard to let go. We mask our hurt and our pain with this intense flare up disguised as anger that tries to burn the person who has hurt us in the first place. We can’t admit we are hurt because that makes us appear weak, but when we are angry, we think we are in control, we believe we appear strong.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

Which do you embrace and why? Is it difficult for you to forgive or difficult for you to continue to be angry? Maybe it depends on the situation or who is involved or maybe you have just learned to practice one over the other. I think the most interesting quote about forgiveness comes from Mark Twain,

” Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.”