There is one obvious sign in a relationship that almost always leads to failure, affairs and/or divorce. I can see it so clearly from where I stand and I wonder why on earth couples can’t figure this out on their own. What exactly does this red flag look like? It looks exactly like it sounds, a gigantic red flag waving wildly in the air begging for someone to notice. That’s the first sign, not knowing or caring enough in the first place that the relationship has broken down. It’s a husband who goes to every basketball game alone because the wife really doesn’t like basketball. It’s that one female friend that shows up at couples event all by herself making excuses for why her husband isn’t there. It’s Tom going out with the boys and Jane going out with the girls. It’s one parent or the other showing up for Timmys football game but never seeing the parents sitting together on the same night. You cannot expect to have a relationship while living separate lives period. It may work for a little while but over time the relationship will be completely doomed. If your spouse loves something and you don’t, too bad, do it anyway. If it’s couples night and you would rather stay home and catch the latest episode of Bachelorete, too bad, record it and go anyway. Marriage is give and take. It’s compromise and caring enough to be at the side of the person you took a vow to love. Sometimes you have to give even when you don’t feel like it. If you don’t, your absence will eventually take a toll on your marriage and it will be well on its way to being over. You signed a contract, you made a verbal commitment so why do you think you can quietly back out of it? It’s like taking a job and expecting to be paid even when you don’t do any work. The unfortunate thing is it takes committed people to make a relationship work. The most heartbreaking sight I ever see is one person giving all he or she has and the other physically and emotionally absent. There are all kinds of excuses like “I fell out of love”, “you put on too much weight”, “I’m just not happy anymore”. If you pay for a dinner and the waiter doesn’t serve you any food, how the hell could you ever be happy? You get out of something what you put into it but in a relationship that gets a little bit tricky. The most loving and successful relationships are the ones that truly master the art of balance when it comes to cashing in and making deposits. Maybe that’s the best way to explain relationships of all. If you don’t put money in the bank, there will be none there when you try and take it out. Go to the bank, make the deposit but don’t forget to leave a couple dollars in your pocket for date night.