What Do You Do All Day?

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My daughters friend was hanging out at our house the other day. We talked life, politics, characteristics of good role models. It was nice to have a conversation with 16 year olds about topics with substance. They were really interested and had strong opinions of their own. As I was making dinner, the girl looked at me and said, “I don’t know how you stay home all day. I could never do it, I’d be so bored”. I took a deep breath and realized I had a choice. I could either sink back and feel bad about myself, I could just blow it off or I could educate her on the value of having one spouse/parent stay at home. I told her about the way things used to be when I was a kid and both parents were not outside the home working. I explained how the person at home kept everything, everyone connected. I explained that when less people were in the work force, there were more good paying jobs and opportunity. I believe families have to do what is right for them. For me, for my family, the choice to be home was the right one. I no longer feel the need to explain what exactly I do all day. I keep things ticking and moving like a CEO in a corporation. I oversee everyone and everything. I am here when someone forgot money for lunch or accidentally left a paper home. I am there to transport the basketball team when there is a mix up and the bus leaves without them. I Make sure the house is always clean, the clothes are always washed and most of the time there is dinner on the table. I am the rock that sits at that table and encourages family time and communication. I am the one who stays up worrying about my kids when I am sure that there is something wrong. AND, sometimes I admit, I do watch a soap opera or two. My value and worth does not reside in the position I have or the work that I do. Women and men need to understand that although a job is important, it is just a job and doesn’t define who we are. Young girls need to know that being a mom and raising kids and organizing the home is important too. It may not pay well but the sacrifice is worth the benefits in the end. There will be plenty of years to fit it all in, to create a home environment and to have a career. Volunteering at Hospice and making a difference is an important part of nursing as much as working on a floor in a hospital. People can use their education and their skill set to do so many things, open so many doors. I may not be technically working but I am applying and contributing to what I know. At the end of my life I won’t ask myself what did I do, how many years have I worked. I will ask myself, how have I served and did I use my gifts to make the world a better place. I do believe I have. I don’t have to hold a job to feel good about who I am. I know many people who do need that position to feel they have worth. What happens when they lose the job? What happens to the person then?

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9 thoughts on “What Do You Do All Day?

  1. charitha subramanyam

    I agree . Its your choice . But it doesn’t work everywhere . At least it doesn’t in my family . I had this aunt who was a housewife .She was everything like you . Perfect . But she realised that her family just used her as a servant . So she decided she wanted to do something . Now she holds double PhD in psychology of elder people and works as a professor . She earns a lot of money and respect. I have personally seen how the attitude of her family has changed towards her . I want to be like her. But it may not apply to your case because you seem to have a wonderful family who loves you and respects you .:) All the best in all your endeavors

    Liked by 2 people

    • You raise a really great point. I don’t feel like I’m as respected as I would be if I worked. We moved when my first was nearly two and I never had family or anyone else around. I had to do it myself and my husband traveled every other week. I don’t know how I would have worked and held down the fort when my husband was away. Some day I hope my kids realize and appreciate that my priority was always them. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t but either way I’m okay with it. My son asked why I would volunteer at Hospice when I could make money as a nurse. I told him someone had to do it so why not me. No one should die alone. I try and teach them that kindness isn’t a reward for money. You should use your talents to help everyone you can. I hope I e made that message clear. Who really knows…. Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I for one would not be able to stay at home. I love the career that I am. Before, I miscarried, my fiancé and myself discussed how we would raise our kids. Each family is different. What works for one family may not work for another. I admire stay at home parents.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It would be wonderful if women stopped comparing themselves to other women. You are so right that every family is different and it saddens me that the new trend is to look down on women who stay home. Amazing that in other countries they actually pay women to stay home and raise their kids.i admire any women who makes the choice to do exactly what is right for her. Thanks so much for the feedback! It’s always so enlightening to see how different we all really are. It’s what makes us special 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Just Plain Ol' Vic

    My wife is on disability and stays home. However she tries to not let that define her and I will be honest, she is the reason why our household works. I may leave to go to my job but she works just as hard as me.

    Liked by 1 person

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