If you do your share, you won’t have to keep score. Often times, we look at our partner and carry a mental list of what we think they are not doing. After all, we are all human and it’s pretty aggravating when someone is not pulling their share of the load. The more we complain, the less they do. The voices in our head will carry on dialogue that sounds something like this.
“He didn’t pick the clothes up off the floor so I won’t wash his clothes anymore. Why should I pick up his clothes when he is a grown adult?”
In the meantime, he is sitting on the couch thinking something like this.
“She leaves her glass on the table every night so why should I bother to pick up mine? Maybe if I leave mine on the table, she wil realize how annoying it is and finally pick up hers. If not, we will let them sit on the table until there’s no more room.”
Can you see how counterproductive this kind of thinking is? You cannot change your partner but not doing your share to prove a point will not lead to anywhere good. Neither will nagging or pointing fingers.
Everyone should do their share. Marriage is a partnership where two people are meant to work together as a team. If you’re not, then shame on you. And what’s worse, if you are not doing your share while pointing a finger at your partner for not doing his or her share, than that makes you a real jerk. Knock it off, pick up your clothes and put your dishes in the sink. Then go out on a nice date and remember why you fell in love in the first place or talk about why you don’t feel loving anymore.
This is something myself and partner really struggle with due to my OCD. I have to do the cleaning my way and in the right order. But then at times, I think why does he not help out and then when he does I have to redo it because my anxiety is high sky. But its something we work on, its just not something that can be easily fixed
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Yes we have the same proem in this house. That’s why I know it can be fixed š
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Its great to know it can be, the thing is I know its not my partner’s fault he is “in the wrong” either way, I think an achievement for us is he did the dishes on Sunday and while I was biting my lips I didn’t go and redo it so progress š
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Oh yes. I’m allowing to vacuum while I’m secretly freaking out the lines are not exactly right. This might make for an interesting blog post
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It could do, I have already done one similar when I first started blogging, but it would be fasinating to see someone elses take on it
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But, isn’t this the thrill of the tennis match? I am trying to think of clever metaphors to go with this, but my mind is too cluttered at the moment.
I am starting to think you are the mom from The Middle. š
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Oh no! Someone else has said that. I don’t watch it bit maybe I’ll have to.
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It’s when you said you are the only passionate mother speaking out at school that made me think, “Yep, that’s Mrs. Heck.” š
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Well said.
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Thanks
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Thank you for always giving us so much insight. I really enjoy your posts! Everything you say is so true. If we are willing to do more, we will get more in return. If we’re calculating everything, we’ll never be happy.
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I enjoy reading yours as well and I always look forward to your sweet comments. I don’t always practice what I preach bit I do try. Tonight I went into the bathroom without turning the light on and almost killed myself tripping over my husbands shoes. I had to laugh after writing that post today. Sometimes you just have to find the humor in things š
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Aww be careful! But you know it’s love when you put up with it all these years. š I wish the best for you and hope school gets better for your son!! You should definitely speak to the teacher about the study guide.
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Wish me luck. I have a meeting tomorrow.thank you for your kindness and support ā¤ļø
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You’re welcome!! ⤠Thank you for yours as well!!!
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ā¤ļø
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