One thing I constantly strive for is self improvement. It’s taken me years to get my mind to a better place but following with actions is a whole different story.
Actions or repetitive responses and behaviors are near impossible to change. First, the mind starts to think in another direction but our responses pull us back the other way. It is like a tug of war, push and pull and despite out best intentions, we are still left standing in the same place.
I finally had a breakthrough today. As I was comfortably sprawled out on my yoga mat at the end of class today, I felt the usual feeling of contentment wash over me. It’s almost as if all the stress inside of me was vacuumed out and replaced with this feeling of calm and serenity. I live for those moment on my mat. Some days, those few minutes are the only time my anxiety ceases and peace exists. Today, for the first time ever, not only did I carry that peace out into the world with me but the first disturbing email I got didn’t steal it away from me. In the past, it only took one small mishap to bring me back to that horrible place. I hung onto that peace and I was able to finally grasp that sense of calm. It’s been hours since I left my yoga class and despite all the little things that could have driven me straight to crazy, I am still at peace. After years of trying, today I recognize, I am that peace.
It’s been a long time since I haven’t felt a sense of urgency or at the very least a hint of anxiety. I have taken baby steps in the right direction but today I reached my destination. My mantra the last few days has been a few simple words.
I will not allow anyone or anything to rob me of my sense of peace.
Today it finally happened. Change your thinking, change your life. A word of advice, just don’t expect it to happen over night.