It’s A Balancing Act

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Life is a balancing act. It has to be. It is up to each and everyone of us to know when to say when. Enough of this, time to move onto that. I grew up a perfectionist. I never believed I had an option to leave anything in my life unfinished or incomplete. There was never a choice for me, nothing to even think about. If there was something that needed to get done I was going to do it, period. I see now that people are pushed beyond their limits. School, work and responsibilities will demand and take until you are exhausted and have nothing left to give. I realize it’s time to reevaluate how to spend each moment of time. If there is more work in a day to finish than there is time to complete it then something has to give. You have a choice to kill yourself getting everything done or decide there is that critical point in the day where your time is yours to do as you choose. And really, is done ever completely done? Maybe it’s necessary to leave some things undone. As I write the words I cringe because it is against everything I’ve ever believed. I look at my husband and my kids who give all they have to get done what is expected of them to do. Like me, they are overwhelmed, stressed out and never afforded the time it takes to recover from one day to the next. Hard as it is, I believe it’s time to finish less and live more. If it means an assignment going unfinished or being handed in a day late than so be it. Health, especially mental health is more important than a crappy grade. So, I must spend the next few weeks undoing who I’ve become. It won’t be easy and I know the internal struggle it will bring but at the end of the day, my peace of mind and state of mind is more important than anything else. That goes for all of us living in this house. If demands are unreasonable, someone must have enough reason to know when to leave well enough alone. It’s a shame that the world has come to this. When something is pushed too hard, it breaks. I learned this lesson through my incessant need to vacuum all the time. We are not machines. We cannot trade out broken parts of who we are for brand new replacement parts. We must learn moderation and self preservation and never apologize for doing what is best for ourselves. Life will take so we must limit what we give. People will take, jobs will take, school will take as the daylight is ripped from underneath our feet. Give less. Rest more. Love more and be at peace. 

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26 thoughts on “It’s A Balancing Act

  1. There is so much truth in what you are saying here, Kim. Of course, I always tend to find myself agreeing with your perspective. I know as children we had a lot more time to be children then our kids do and I don’t think putting more on them at an early age prepares them any better than we were prepared. In fact, I think it is one of the causes for greater numbers of people suffering self-esteem and mental health issues as adults.

    This post sounds to me like you may be redefining “success” in your family life. This month’s poetry party is about success. Come join us, if you can.

    ☀ Memee

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for the reinforcement. So many disagree and it makes me question my own instincts. My mental health is suffering though so something has to change. I can’t live with this ridiculous anxiety.
      I will come check out the poetry party however my words have not come easily lately. ❤️

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      • Most definately! And that is a great part of this blogging world, don’t you think? I mean, dang it takes so much more of our time then we imagined when we started but when people who read us and follow us reach out too support us, build us up when we’re getting down, that makes it worth it!

        Keep your chin up. Things will improve. You’re seeing to it!

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  2. From your first few lines, I think back to my school days and how other kids seemed to get by doing half of their homework or a really sloppy job. Meanwhile, I was stressing out about how to get every assignment done to Grade A perfection. My folks would tell me to “not try so hard” or “change your lifestyle if you’re not doing as well as you’d like.” Easy for them to say. My dad once had this crazy notion of not sounding so smart in class to make friends. How was that going to work? How could I pretend to be less intelligent to make friends with people who weren’t exactly less smart. [In fact, some were much smarter but acted like spoiled losers.] And, how would such an “act” help with my struggles to focus in class and complete the ridiculously heavy (for me) work load? [In truth, I think I might have handled the load better if I “exercised” more. Just like being able to perform in gym class, I struggled because I didn’t get more exercise to stretch my limits. If I was raised to be a better reader, I might not have struggled like a dyslexic person with the heavy texts we were given. Instead, I tried to take on Hercules before I learned how to wrestle with Donald Duck.]

    Yes, the mere mention of leaving something undone DOES invoke panic (in me, too). 🙂

    I think what really sucks is the “restraints” or pressures we all feel thrust upon us by the “ruling parties” of our world. School, government, etc. We feel threatened of punishment from a failure to perform at a certain level. There doesn’t seem to be room for error though so many in the highest offices seem capable of just that. Everyone seems on edge about disappointing someone or being punished. So, how can anyone ever really relax? That’s why I throw a fit and turn down pleasure trips. How could I possibly expect to truly sit in a lounge chair in Hawaii and drink from a coconut all day? I am too wired! I would rather hike the mountains of (your choice of European country) all day til I pass out than sit and pretend all is well in the world for a few days or more. Some day, maybe–I can dream–I will finally find that peace to kick back with the woman I love and enjoy such a paradise. [I can hear people in the back shouting, “When you’re dead!”]

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    • I’m shouting “I hope it’s soon!” It’s almost like we are a puppet, never in control of our own strings. No wonder we can never relax. Someone is always forcing us to do something we just don’t want to do 😦

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      • You hope what is soon? My death??

        Even if we didn’t have school expectations or government rules on our backs, we’d have a higher power to contend with…or aliens. Or, we’d have each other, other species and ourselves on one planet, trying to get along. How much string can we pull or how much independence can we expect before we overstep some boundary into the territory of another?

        Watch out for that ant by your foot, by the way. 🙂

        Force is a (adjective) word. I think we THINK we are forced. The real force shows up as consequence. You don’t know you’re screwed until you get caught in the spider web and drained of your essence.

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  3. stuckinscared

    Outstanding post, Kimberly… wise thoughts. Something has to give, eventually, and if we’re not careful (from experience) it’s us! Thinking of you, and wishing you strength to get through the transition x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And then there’s those of us with ADD to never seem to finish a project before they move to something else. My laundry is hanging on the pole over the washer because I hung it up but never took it to the closet. When I vacuum, the hose (whole house system, very large hose) and attachments are left lying in whatever room I did last because I am going to do another room when I get around to it, Often, my husband will ask “Are you though with this? Can we put it away?” And then there is hyper-focusing which also happens with me. I get stumped on a problem and will spend hours and hours trying to solve it to the point where my husband now insists that I take breaks after two hours. I am getting much better about taking breaks and you are right, it is necessary. My chiropractor told me that we need to rest, completely rest, for a minimum of 20 minutes during each day to recharge our spine. I do most days. Thanks for the great post!

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