Push and Shove

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I posted yesterday about carrying guilt and the weight it places on each and everyone of us. I also suggested that most of my own guilt comes from my own haunting, obsessive thoughts. However, guilt can come from almost anywhere or from anybody and I am guessing this is true for many. We may think we know it all. We may think we have all the answers and that we know what’s best. We may even believe we are helping someone when it comes to guiding them with our insightful wisdom. The truth is not every answer is the solution to every problem for every person. We are all different and we have the right to choose for ourselves what we believe is the right choice when it comes to living our own lives. It’s not always beneficial to put in your two sense or to gently nudge someone in one direction or the other. If you shove someone in a direction they don’t want to travel, you ultimately cause them inner turmoil that eventually leads to guilt. That’s not fair to do to anyone else. It’s just not. 

I bring this up because a new baby in the family brings up the real question of whether to breastfeed or not. Unfortunately, some of us are easier led by others and we lack the confidence to stand up for ourselves. Is breastfeeding a good thing? Sure, I won’t even try and argue but is it good for everyone? No. The answer is no. It’s not natural for everyone and if a woman feels her baby is not getting enough breast milk and wants to supplement with a bottle, then the hospital should lay off the pushy guilt trip and hand that mother a bottle. Many of us second guess every decision we make and why? Because too many people have opinions that drown out our own. Let people decide for themselves and respect whatever it is they decide. They deserve that kind of respect. We all do. What do you think?

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51 thoughts on “Push and Shove

  1. I think I am grateful to you for opening my eyes. Through my comments to others’ posts, I think I am becoming an ego driven “know it all”. People thank me and say it is helpful but are they just being polite?” Because I have been in a position to help people through their crisis’, it oozes from my pores. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. koppieop

    …We may even believe we are helping someone when it comes to guiding them with our insightful wisdom…
    Long ago, I learned a saying that seldom are offered services welcome. which I think is true. Therefore I avoid doing that, except when I’m sure that the person concerned will accept it.

    As for breastfeeding, I agree with the answers a medical student gave to an exam question:
    Give at least three reasons why mother’s milk is better than cow’s.
    1. It’s faster.
    2. It’s cleaner.
    3. It’s safer (the cat can’t get it).
    4. It’s easier to handle, especially when travelling.
    5. It’s kept in more attractive containers.

    Exceptions accepted, of course! .-

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can’t argue breastfeeding has its benefits. It does not feel right to every woman though and that woman should not have to go through the guilt of trying to please the people around her. To each his own is what I say.

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      • koppieop

        My eldest daughter had more milk than her first child needed. She collected the surplus and sent it to a friend of hers, in another clinic, who could not satisfy her baby.
        Ok then. I was convinced that mother’s milk was the most natural nurture for babies, and that mothers enjoyed feeding their children. As I’m learning now, there are many women uncomfortable with breastfeeding, and I see that there are many more exceptions than I thought. I’m sorry for them and I hope they will not feel a bit of guilt. Of course, they shouldn’t.
        Thank you for the insight! .-

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree that it is everyone’s choice and the guilt you carry if you can’t is hard. I went through that when I gave birth to my son. I was too sick to nurse and they had to give him a bottle and I cried. As soon as I was able to nurse (3 days later) I just wanted him to latch on and he didn’t. He wanted the bottle. I didn’t supplement until the doctor said he’s lost too much weight. With him being a preemie they didn’t want to see that. So, they suggested that I supplement. I sat there and cried. The doctor told me that breastfeeding isn’t all or nothing and don’t let society make you feel like that. That was exactly what I felt like. That I was failing my son because I couldn’t nurse him. But, 7 years later, he’s fine. It’s a personal choice however I think women should be educated on both choices.

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