You Do Matter


Fall is a time that blatantly screams change in its magnificent hues and colors. This is always that time of year that I feel a new sense of hope and a burst of enthsiasm. It reminds me that change brings with it so much promise for something better, something different. It’s hard to watch the leaves fall off the trees. Every time I see one, it reminds me of the years I have lost, the people I have lost but it also forces me to remember that those trees will give birth to new leaves and promise of something even more beautiful than the year before. As we celebrate the birth of my nephew I can’t help but see my own place on a very large tree where the branches, although growing apart are still intertwined and very connected. We all have that base. Some call it roots, others family and still others refer to it as being grounded. We are not alone even if we think we feel that way. We are part of a magnificent perfection that grows and changes over time. It is solid and as new branches appear and others break away, every single branch is what makes that tree amazing and whole. Today, look in the mirror and tell yourself, I am important. I do matter and just being alive is purpose enough.

Day 2 Quote Challenge


These two lovely ladies, and nominated me for the 3 day quote challenge, so here is day 2. Don’t forget to go check out their amazing blogs!

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Wayne Dyer

This is a really big challenge for me especially as a parent. Everyone has a vision or an idea of who we should be but once we step outside of that box, others are not afraid to try and stuff us back in. The truth is, we have the right to make our own decisions and walk in the direction we choose. Life is like creating a beautiful painting and only the person holding the brush understands what he is trying to create. Until it is finished, it is a bunch of colored lines on a bare page but when it is finished, it is unique and amazing. I say let them paint and watch what happens. Their vision may be very different from our own vision but it is just as beautiful in the end.

Day 1 Quote Challenge


I was invited to do the 3 day challenge by Everyone knows I love quotes so of course I accept.  The rules are simple. Post one quote each day for three days and invite 3 people to play along.

Day One:

Leap, and the net will appear~~John Burroughs

I nominate(under no obligation)

Life’s Little Miracles


Today my nephew decided to greet the world. Isn’t it amazing how one simple event can put so many things into perspective all at once?  There are so many daily aggravations and  struggles that sometimes we forget to focus on the miracle it is that we are even alive. For whatever reason, we are born into a particular family and that family is the first influence that determines who we are and who we are meant to be. It’s hard to believe that life is random and everything comes down to coincidence. For me personally, I believe things turn out the way they should and sometimes they don’t make sense because we are always looking at a very small part of an enormous picture. I wish this little guy peace and happiness and the courage and ability to always stand strong on his own two feet. And of course, the rest of the crazy bunch(my family) will be cheering him on from the sidelines as he learns to walk through this exciting world. Pay attention to the miracles all around you. Don’t miss them because you are busy looking in the wrong direction. They are there and they are beautiful.

I’m Not Interested In Your Opinion


Facebook can really be enlightening. If there is one thing most wouldn’t dare argue, it’s that there are so many varieties of opinions out there. Everywhere you look on social media and most conversations you have on a daily basis are filled with people spewing their opinions. I do believe there was a time we could simply state our opinion and leave it at that but these days we feel we are entitled to an opinion and if someone feels different than we do then they are obviously wrong. Why do we feel the need to throw more sticks on an already raging fire? I can see if something is really, truly important to us but if not why even go there?

For the rest of this week, I am going to try and keep my opinions to myself. If someone says something that lights a fire underneath me, I will allow it to simmer and burn out rather than turn up the heat. I’m not even sure I can do it but if it brings peace to my surrounding world then I am willing to try it. Can you do it? Will you?

Ever Feel Stuck?


Sometimes I have some pretty specific plans but life changes them. I am sitting here in my car that won’t start frustrated that I cannot do the things I need to do today. My niece has a birthday on Thursday and I brainlessly sent her gift to Oklahoma instead of Pennsylvania so the first thing on my list was mailing her package. The second was food shopping because I avoided the dreaded task all weekend and now I am left stranded with no dinner plan. I feel like this often…stuck and forced to deal with the situation that has been handed to me. They say you can learn a lot about yourself by the way you react to situations like this and I am not reacting at all. That is one thing about depression that sometimes comes in handy. You don’t really want to do the things you have to do anyway so when you can’t do them it’s almost bittersweet.  Usually my husbands truck is here but that along with his car, is sitting in his parking lot at work so I’ll just sit here for now without the need to ponder what I will do next because there is nothing that I can do. Do you ever feel stuck? What do you do about it? How do you react?

Knowing Your Triggers


Because I am a control freak, my demeanor often reflects that too. I am not outwardly too much of anything. I am a numbed down version of who I should probably be. I don’t like to surrender myself in any situation. That includes matters of the heart or matters of my own will. We all have triggers I guess and last night schoolwork turned me into a loaded gun. I get to that point where I just snap and I hate myself for it in the minutes that follow. It’s hard for me to shake that side of myself off. I hold myself to a pretty high standard and when I act in a way I don’t approve, I take it pretty hard. Sure, it’s easy to say everyone makes mistakes and it’s important to forgive and do better. There are just some lines that should never be crossed. The first time, we just look at the line and it feels awful. Next time we move a little  closer and maybe touch it with the bottom of our foot. Eventually we have the confidence to step right over it and never come back. I see that pattern in people all the time. It’s like taking that first drink that leads to a lifetime of debilitating drinking. That’s how it starts and knowing my own limits and not going outside of them is something I’ve always practiced and admired in myself. So what is one to do when that imaginary line has been broken? Is it possible to imagine it there again and promise not to do it again or is it important to be honest and say what’s broken will always be broken and remember how this day feels because of one bad choice and don’t ever make it again. It’s not even something that would be that big of a deal for the average person, but a step out of my comfort zone in this direction was surely a step in the wrong direction. So today, I will try and convince myself it’s okay to make an occasional mistake and make that important promise to myself that I will grow from it and next time choose better. You can never go back but you can choose to remain stuck in a moment or to move forward. I’m going to keep on moving. 

Giving Up Control


Today’s a big day in our house. I know to some it will seem silly but for me, it’s a major step in a new direction. I am a control freak. There I said it. I have no idea how I got this way but I did and the good thing is that I recognize it in myself. In some ways it’s a blessing. I am organized, always on the ball and ahead of life instead of chasing behind it trying to catch up. For the people in my life though, it’s probably not a blessing at all. I have an opinion about how everything should be, a strong one. So, after 16 years of having my first child, I am finally letting her take control of her own hair. As long as it doesn’t involve crazy colors(yes I held onto a little control) she can do whatever she wants. Am I nervous? Yes, but it’s so important to do whatever it takes to make you feel the most beautiful version of yourself on the inside and out. Wish me luck as I try and sit there with my lips zipped and probably my eyes closed.