Squirrel, pizza, dogs, text!

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Everyday, I discover something new about attention deficit disorder. Tonight, when I got the email regarding what would take place in school this week, as soon as I saw there were four tests in a three day period, I broke out in a sweat. Kids with ADD learn differently than other kids. Because of their lack of attention span, it is necessary to take breaks every 20 minutes or so. This is after 20 minutes of my son leaning back on his chair, petting the dog, getting up to get a drink, throwing down a piece of pizza and that’s just when he’s studying. Get the picture? It’s not like when you and I sit and give something 20 minutes of our undivided attention. It’s also necessary to study over a period of a few nights. One long night of studying never works. So how is this even possible when you have four major tests in four days? That is why I beg teachers to stay in contact with me and to let me know when tests may be coming up so we can get an early jump on the studying part. It devastates me to watch my son who is so bright struggle with time management the way he does. I sit here now as the tears well up in my eyes because of how much harder he has to work to get good grades and keep up with the work. He has very little free time and this week, he will have none. It’s also necessary for me to sit by him and help him study so he stays on task. Otherwise, he might very well sit with his paper in hand for two hours and not retain a thing. It really takes a toll on me and sucks up most of my time. I try not to let it get me down but sometimes, like tonight, it hits me pretty hard. We only have three days to prepare for two tests we just found out about tonight. I guarantee, when I sit down to see what he retains from class, the answer will be nothing. A test in biology and science in the same week is a real challenge. Somehow, it always works out this way. They seem to be the two classes where he learns absolutely nada in class and I know that’s true because of how much teaching it takes me one on one at home for him to finally get it. Sometimes I feel like screaming Why can’t you remember what we just went over? What will it take to make you learn? Can’t you just stop moving around? Will you ever grow out of this? But, somehow I find the strength to keep those thoughts to myself.

If you know a family with a child who has ADD, give them some support. You have no idea how difficult it can be at home. I’ve thought about making a documentary where someone could spend a week in our home when we have several tests taping what goes on so I could use it as a teaching tool to make teachers understand. They just don’t get it and they don’t even try. How do I know this? Because they won’t even stick to a 504, a plan that under the law, they are required to follow. Who’s going to make them? The government? That’s where I would have to file a complaint. Yeah, I bet you just laughed out loud. There’s  a major flaw in the system but isn’t that true for most things they stick their hands into? 

I needed to get this off my chest. If you or anyone you know has any tips for studying and retaining information in the most time effective manner for anyone with ADD, please share them with me. I am desperate and it’s so hard to do on my own.

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19 thoughts on “Squirrel, pizza, dogs, text!

  1. As I have shared, I have ADD but it wasn’t diagnosed until I was a 40 something adult and working toward an AA degree. Medication, that’s how I did it and how my grandson is doing it. He takes Focalin and my husband, a pharmacist, is pretty impressed with the drug. I’m not suggesting that you put your son on medication because that is a choice only you and your husband can make, I am just telling you what we did. If you are having trouble with the school not following guidelines, you may want to get an advocate. My friend told me just yesterday that she had to get an advocate for her daughter who has Dyslexia. The advocate found that the school’s Special Ed teachers had totally failed “S” and had not kept records. They committed fraud by creating records “after the fact” when they found out they were going to be held accountable. The school was forced to stop retaliating against her daughter because they were pissed at the mother for pushing them to do their jobs (my friend had documentation) and to up their game. “S” had not been moved forward in her reading levels for a year. After all this came to light, she was allowed free summer school and when school started, the new teacher she had was able to move her forward in her reading levels. Amazingly, no teacher lost their job over this. My friend was stressed like you are and having to go through the tediousness with homework and studying for tests that you experience and her daughter just wasn’t getting it. I am a fighter and I think you are too, so keep fighting all the way up the ladder until you get their attention. I think the ADD diagnosis has become so common that it is basically ignored. Because children who have it are usually, at a minimum, of above average intelligence, I think some teachers being told to give extra help to those students pooh pooh it. Our son has ADD and didn’t like taking Ritalin which was the only option at the time so he was unmedicated. He got into trouble in school and was put into an alternative school. He loved it because it had smaller classes and he got more specialized attention.

    Be kind to yourself, you are a great mom. I wish my parents had cared about my education, they didn’t so they never realized that I was struggling. I don’t think they even paid attention to what grades were on my report card. I think they just signed it or I forged their signature. It wasn’t that I was a socially unacceptable child, I was just doing what I had to do to get by. They loved us but were too self absorbed. So, be proud of what you do to help but get help for you and your son by getting an advocate. Force the school to do their jobs. ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the encouragement. I think you are right that the schools are brushing it aside because he is smart and gets good grades. The reason is because I am teaching and teaching and teaching at home. We had him on Concerta and the difference was amazing. He wanted to stop last year after Christmas break so we gave it a try. He did fine. This year though, the workload is so much harder and three of his classes are high school classes. I spent all day today making up extensive practice tests for Language arts, biology and science so I could see what he really wasn’t grasping. All day! Then I search for videos that explain the info in a simpler way. The terminology in these textbooks are hard for even me to understand. This new method of teaching where teachers hand out packets and the kids seek out their answers on their own is not working for him. There is no real teaching. You are expected to learn while doing the packets. He scored 20% on reading comprehension on his state test last year. Why can’t teachers use a variety of teaching methods? It’s just unfortunate for these kids that learn differently than most others. I am considering medication again but he really doesn’t want it. It made him flat/boring/ Dulled down. It was tough to watch. My silly, bursting with personality kid turned into a serious, quiet adult. I don’t know what to do.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Same with my grandson, exactly. He comes over on Friday afternoon and will hardly respond and but later he is fine. He doesn’t like taking the medicine and his father and stepmother have him on a supplement, Vyarin, which is supposed to eventually take the place of the ADD med. He’s 13 by the way. Drug holidays help. When I was on Adderall for my ADD, it would build up in my system and I would space out. It bothered Danny so when I was no longer working outside our home, I quit taking it. Its not always easy and if I am working on a project, Danny has to remind me to stop every 2 hours and do something different. Harder for your son to do. It seems that you might as well be home schooling him since the teachers are basically making you do it anyway. I am not an advocate for home schooling but sometimes it makes sense. I believe that eventually they won’t even be going to school, everything will be computer. It is heading that way.

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      • I believe you are right. Can you imagine a world without school as we knew it? I do feel like I’m home schooling. It’s starting to take its toll and the classes are only getting harder. Maybe I should give that supplement a try. I will have to read up on it. Thank you for the information, conversation and support. It’s lonely sometimes since no one seems to understand. How could they though? You really never do know about something until you go through it yourself โค๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

  2. arhadley

    I actually think all children learn different from one another. I understand your struggle. We have tried different supplements with our children and it has helped with their allergies and eczema. It’s no quick fix, but it was worth it. The foods we eat played a part too. So we changed our diets. I teach my kids at home and find that learning is happening all the time. Asking them what time it is, reading a book together, doing a puzzle, playing Trivial Pursuit, watching science videos, a day at the museum or zoo, and really just talking about educational/interesting things whenever, is all teaching. On particularly hard days, we may only do a few worksheet problems at a time and move on to a different subject. We use the Splash Math app too. Flash cards. Multiplication songs on YouTube. So many great resources out there. Keep mixing it up and make it fun. Your child will learn. No doubt. Have faith. They are constantly learning. We have to be the advocate. I applaud your commitment. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. My son is 13 and he is so overstimulated from all the work. He has been napping on the coach each day after school because not getting a break on weekends or week nights is exhausting for him. We all need down time. Everyone needs a break and he just can’t seem to get one. I don’t remember having all this work when I was a kid. They learn one thing in the classroom and are told to go home and look up something unrelated so they can learn something else on top of class and all while they are at home. It just seems crazy to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • arhadley

        I don’t remember it being so much when I was a kid either. It’s a different time. It’s a lot of pressure. Kids need to be reminded just how awesome they are and that life isn’t always about a test score. Being smart is also about loving life and wanting to learn. Learning takes on so many forms. I wish you both the best. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Today on Dark Bloggos, Kendra Stewart goes insane after becoming possessed by four testing spirits….mwahahaaa…

    My eyes cross just thinking about ADD and a high school work load.

    What is this madness infecting so many minds? What will become of those who suffer and those who put up with the sufferers? I hear the eerie music playing even now.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just Plain Ol' Vic

    So tough but I have a feeling you are up to the challenge. In the long run all your dedication now will pay huge dividends later on, so keep up the great work! Rooting for you over here!

    Liked by 1 person

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