The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Standard

Innocent until proven guilty. Not in school.

I received a surprising email from a teacher that Chase had made a mess under his chair in class and was called back to the room to clean it up. 

Everything is not always as it appears to be. Maybe in science it may work, but when it comes to real life, you need to use common sense and read between the lines.

Chases story. He was sitting at a square table with four other kids and was taking a test. One boy pulled out toothpicks and started throwing them across the table. Another boy threw them back. Chase became distracted while watching them do it and was redirected out loud by the teacher to focus on his test. This is how the email read. 

Today during testing Chase struggled in keeping to himself during our Science Test. I provided multiple reminders that he should focus on the test and not interact with others at his table. At one point during the test I witnessed Chase with a half-dozen or so colored tooth picks in his mouth. After class was over I discovered multiple colors toothpicks broken and un-broken under his chair and around his chair…

Chase did pick up a few toothpicks and put them in his mouth. Imagine a kid with ADD picking up something that was sitting on a table in front of him. Hard to believe, don’t you think(Small hint of sarcasm there). He watched the whole thing unfold and looked at his teacher to see if he noticed what was going on. So what exactly did the words struggles to keep to himself. How would you interpret that? He brushed toothpicks out of his way as he tried to finish his test in the midst of distraction. At the end of class the teacher said to to him in front of the class, “Chase, I am sending your parents an email to tell them about the mess you made.” The teacher claims he told him privately. Privately would have been after class, not saying it quietly from behind his desk while Chase was at his own desk. 

This is what came next. 

Another student was responsible for a portion of this mess. I had both students re-called from their class to return and pick up the mess left on the ground. Chase claimed he was not responsible for any of the mess but that contradicts my observations and student reports at his table.

The real truth. He asked one kid, the kid who happened to bring the toothpicks into class so who created the mess. He of course blamed Chase probably because the way the teacher feels about Chase is pretty clear from the tone of the email. Kids pick up on that and it’s unfortunate. So who better to blame? 

Chases name was called over the school loud speaker to report back to the class where he was told he was responsible for the mess and he was to clean it up. Why wouldn’t he just keep him after class to take care of it then? Was it necessary for him to be called back in front of the whole school? He was NEVER asked to give  his side of the story but offered it in his own defense while he cleaned the toothpicks off the floor. There was no other kid there helping clean up the mess. Why did the email say another kid helped? So based on my observation of the situation, I would say the email wasn’t exactly accurate.

A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb

Lucky for me I had a conference with that teacher that night. This was our conversation.

“Did you see my son throw a toothpick?”

“I never insinuated he threw a toothpick. He broke up toothpicks and dropped them underneath his chair” (Because he’s really stupid enough to incriminate himself like that. Makes perfect sense)

Me, pointing my finger at his face and pretty pissed off by now. “Did you see my son break and drop a toothpick on the ground? ”

“I saw a several colored toothpicks in his mouth.”

“Imagine that. How surprising a kid with ADD would pick up a toothpick on a table in front of him and put it in his mouth. (Louder now and saying one word slowly and clearly showing my disgust? “Did you it did you not see Chase break up toothpicks and drop them underneath his chair?

“No, but other kids at the table observed him doing it.”

When I asked why he didn’t approach the the table while it was happening and didn’t seem to be concerned with WHO brought the toothpicks into class, he told me he didn’t want to disturb the rest of the class. The ONLY kid who said Chase did it was obviously the kid who brought them in the first place and he was the ONLY kid who was asked privately after class about the incident. Chase confirmed with the other kids at the table and they stated they were never asked. I then offered to have a meeting with the entire table to get to the bottom of this which he told me would be illegal. I asked, so it would be illegal to walk up to a table during an incident and question all the kids present about what had taken place? Isn’t that how you find the real truth or had you already decided you knew what transpired? His answer was still, I didn’t want to disturb the class.

The truth is he could have kept them all after class but he had made up his mind that Chase was guilty. And the kid that brought the toothpicks, he didn’t pick up a single one.

This is an example of why I try to bring into awareness the unacceptable things that are happening in our schools. Somehow, we usually end up on the receiving end and it doesn’t feel very good. Guess what Mr. Teacher, not complying with a 504 is against the law too but clearly behavior is important and education is not. I can’t help that I have a class of 30 kids, he says to which I respond, I can’t help that I have a kid with ADD.

It’s bad enough I have to be an advocate for his education, now I have to be one for his reputation and self esteem.

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14 thoughts on “The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

  1. Oh. My. Goodness. My blood is seriously boiling reading this. I hate teachers who have their favourites, and then have their favourite kid to blame for EVERYTHING! My son’s grade two teacher was like this, bllaming my son for every little thing that happened. He was always hanging around the same kids, but it was MY kid causing the trouble… no proof. He’s been blamed before so he must be the root of all evil this time too. I had three meetings with the teacher to discuss his behaviour, and not once did she have anything productive to tell me, no advice to give me, no help to offer. Isn’t it amazing how the following year, he didn’t get into trouble once? And the year before that, he was good as gold? I know why she had no advice, because she didn’t want to just admit he was her favourite kid to blame. Good for YOU, fighting back and taking a stand!!! He is one lucky boy!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you but it drains me. I guess you know exactly how I feel. He’s such a great kid, goes out of his way to get other kids out of trouble. Just this week a teacher gave one kid after school detention so after the class he went up to the teacher to tell her she didn’t see everything and the other boy was to blame. He got out of ASD and the other boy was put in. He knows how it feels to wrongly accused. I’ve taught him to be fair and do the right thing and then you come up against something like this. You nailed it right on the head. Teachers to pick one kid to blame even when several are doing the same thing. Thank you for responding to my post. I really appreciate the feedback ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have written this twice now and it has disappeared twice. I really want to tell you this so I am going to try one more time. I would love to tutor Chase and work with him on being successful and having fun learning. When my cousin was in fifth grade his teacher made fun of his red hair and freckles. She called him names… Red, Freckles, Carrottop…etc. He came home crying every day. He cried every morning and begged not to go. Children are resilient… he made it through it and did not die, except for a piece of his heart. It was the piece that make him absolutely one of the funniest people God ever created. He could have grown up to be a stand up comedian. Gradually, instead he withdrew into himself become a recluse. He never went anywhere… he had no friends except us, his cousins. I watched him change. In high school, he got on drugs and broke his parents’ hearts. His dad died and he lived with my invalid Aunt. He got off drugs by the time he was thirty but became an alcoholic. My Aunt had a brain ambolism and had to be put in a nursing home. He went every day to take care of her. He never had a date. One night he fell asleep drunk with a cigarette in his hand and burned most of the house down. It finished off what was left of his will to live. The was condemned but he continued to live in the tool shed. His brother flew in from Atlanta and took him back home with him to live. He is now 58 years old and still living with his brother. Alllll that to say… I have no tolerance for teachers who pick on children .

    Where do you live? I need to come BODY-SLAM her, or bloody her nose, or pick out a feature and start making fun of her in front of everyone.You have to respect children for them to respect you and most importantly themselves. Or maybe you could give me her e-mail and I’ll just write her a scathing letter. … Then again.. you might could just accidentally hit the forward button to her class computer!!! Sorrythis was so long… but I feel strongly about this… Just don’t ask me how I REALLY feel!! lol

    Liked by 3 people

    • My little guy is a freckled face red head 😉 The teacher is a man. What hurts my heart even more and I can’t even say the words without crying is what I didn’t put in the post. He told me he’s been distracted and “disruptive” the last few weeks at his table. I suggested he make a behavior contract with him and he told me there was no need for one because he isn’t a behavior problem. Disruptive meant talking to kids at his table. His words are strong and hurtful and I do believe over exaggerated. Here’s the tough part. When I asked why he didn’t change his seat when it started happening, he told me he tried several times and other kids didn’t want to sit with him. He’s have to make deals with them to do it. My son said the entire class switch seats once a semester and they have changed twice. Not consistent at all with the teachers words. So he talks with a condescending tone toward Chase and he talks about him behind his back. Why wouldn’t he talk to the parent, me so we could talk to Chase and make him aware that kids were feeling this way because of whatever it is. I emailed another teacher and Told her what the other teacher said and did she find this to be true in her class.She said he doesn’t distract anyone and no one has ever complained. So 4 teachers say not a problem. Where is the discrepancy?

      Liked by 1 person

      • In my opinion, if this man is homeroom teacher… have him moved to another class. It’s only November!!! You’ll have nothing b ut heartache all yes soon as possible. It will be a relief to Chase. . Do it and do it soon. Every day you wait is one more day of his self -esteem draining out like there is a leak in his soul. I’ll be praying.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s science class and because of his schedule I’m not sure I can switch him to a different hour. The other teacher is a terror as well. At least that’s what I’ve heard. It may be a coincidence but I always seem to have trouble with science teachers. I just can’t figure it out. Neither science teachers have any kids. That is not helpful either. Thanks for the prayers. That’s about the only thing that help us now.

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