Not This Again

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I notice a pattern happening in my life. It’s as if I am presented with the same scenario year after year but involving different people and one common denominator. I am not inferring this has been going on for a year or two, it has been happening for close to 10 years. The situation is completely out of my control. The outcome however, is not. It seems that I repeat the same ending over and over and I can’t help but wonder if the only way to keep this from popping up again is to end the story differently this time. Is it possible that the universe could be pushing me to do an about face and do in my heart what I feel necessary to do? Is the answer sometimes marching confidently into war instead of always trying to wave the white flag to see if the end result can be arrived at peacefully? I am tired of standing at the same crossroad. It’s like deja vu year after year and I want to eliminate this nightmare once and for all. I can’t help but wonder if this is more than just coincidence. Will I have the confidence to get it right this time? Is there something specific that keeps showing up in your life?

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22 thoughts on “Not This Again

  1. Welcome to the Repeaters Club. I, too, have been noticing things repeating over the past 10 years or so. But, not the same thing every year. Rather, things that seem to have happened in a past lifetime on a very similar track. But, these things haven’t come into my awareness until roughly 10 years ago (or less). And, that, too. I do the same. I hear a little bell tell me the same thing is happening or about to happen before I try to steer in a different direction. Trouble is…I am not sure if a new direction is better. And, when I steer away from “the past,” I run into another “bell.”

    And, if you are doubting your confidence, I fear we are both fighting the same battle in some way. What is it that depletes this seemingly ever so important “confidence?” And, why would we sabotage or deny ourselves something within us?

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    • I am so relieved someone understands me. I’m sorry for you but it is comforting to me. What a pain huh? I am teetering on the confidence scale right now. I don’t like tension and I try my best to do things peacefully but that’s exactly why people walk all over me 😦

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      • I guess the problem is I am a reasonable person. I am willing to listen to reason and find a reasonable solution. I need to remember that everyone is not reasonable or willing to compromise or do anything to lead to a resolution. They may look me in the face and yes me to death then it’s Pete and repeat. I’m done. Took one more step than normal and I can’t back down now.
        To answer your question, they walk all over me because I let them. And because I’m short πŸ˜‰

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      • Being reasonable is a bad thing?

        Just because someone doesn’t seem reasonable, doesn’t mean you need to see red and charge at them like a bull, Taurus. πŸ™‚

        Well, put on some platform boots and stand your ground. Let them know you’re standing there. “Hey! I’m standin’ her’!” [A lil Dustin Hoffman for ya.] But, don’t give up on working toward a peaceful solution.

        Maybe the careless jerks step on or over you, but they will have their own hardships. And, maybe you won’t be there to fix everything. That may be them learning the hard way. They could have had your help. Instead, they squashed the mighty ant with their giant inconsideration.

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      • Game over when someone looks me in the face and lies. That’s when I see red. That’s when this bull is going to charge. And this time, I have proof. It’s bad enough to speak a lie but to put it in writing. That’s beyond careless. That’s calculating and manipulating. You don’t mess with this mama bear.

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  2. I have looked closely at my life and I am on a 3 year cycle…Every three years, a traumatic (both external and/or internal) incident forces me to put the brakes on and reassess and redirect/reinvent myself. This is one of those years…

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  3. koolaidmoms

    I just realized as I read this that I am at the same cross-roads I found myself at last year and the year before. All the things I was going to do or change never happened. Maybe it is time to turn things on their head and take a leap into the unknown to upset this path.

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