I read a post recently. I can’t remember exactly when or who it was by but the theme really touched me in a way I hadn’t expected. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, every year I choose a word to set an intention for the next 365 days. I wanted to pick something special and profound that would affect me in every way. This post revolved around the word soften. Soften, yes, that’s my word. This year I hope to soften my voice to show more respect, love and compassion. I hope to soften my heart to understand, forgive and love to my full potential. I hope to soften my shoulders, to let go of stress and anxiety and to revel in calm that comes more naturally and continuously. I hope to soften my face, my expressions, my eyes so that I can look at everyone more lovingly instead of with exasperation. I hope to soften my mind and my thoughts to replace the worried, anxious ones with reassuring, confident ones. I hope to soften my expectations of everyone around me including myself. Soften, yes that is the one. May my journey to soften contribute to softening the world a little more every day.
Happy New Year to so many of you who have offered me support, comfort, and peace of mind when I’ve needed it most. May this new year bring you peace and happiness and the awareness to know the difference each and everyone of you make. Let’s make 2016 our best year yet!
We went out for dinner last night and my husband asked if I had chosen my word. Every year on New Years Eve, I set an intention for the upcoming year. It’s not something I take lightly. I truly believe that when you send energy out into the universe, it comes back. So what could I possibly choose? Out of all the words that currently exist, which is the right one for me? I still haven’t found one that resonates completely so I will meditate on it later today. Think about it. If you could pick one word that would define your entire 2016, what would you want it to be? Give it a try!
“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.”
― Colin Powell
I disappeared from WordPress for a few days. One change I am committed to making in 2016 is being more mindful. I want to leave the past in the past and allow the future to play out in its own time. I catch it happening all the time. On Christmas Day, we were talking about an event that would occur in a few days rather then just being there in the moment enjoying the day. If I had to guess, I would think that I spend atleast half of my life lost somewhere between before and after. Life is so much better when I take it one day at a time. This time of year brings a much needed break. I love that there is no schedule, no homework, no responsibilities. Nothing. I love sitting in the place of nothing surrounded by a calm that heals my restless soul. I would like to take this peace I feel right here and now into 2016. I have to find a way to eliminate distractions. They come in many forms and the biggest one of all is my phone. I love that I can do so many things with it but I do not love how preoccupied I am waiting for the next text or Facebook post or the next blog post that will come to mind. So, as this year passes and I reflect on the last 365 days, it is obvious that I must remove each and every thing that robs me of peace. I need to trust that everything will work out the way it should and making myself crazy will not change a single thing except for me. I am strong, I am calm and I must surrender my need to control everything going on around me. Life is about perspective. My blog is about perspective yet somehow I have forgotten the difference it can make. It’s time to let go of the things that drag me down and make room for the ones that lift me up. There is no space when the shelves are full. Remember when you are filled with distraction, you will feel no calm. When you are drowning in anxiety, you will never find peace. What will you make room for this coming year? What do you hope to let go of?
Today’s the day. In a few hours I will be on a plane traveling to the place I have always called home. When I think back over the years, I am reminded of the joys and challenges that every year brings. There have been years when the loss of a loved one left the house feeling very empty. There have been new babies and new spouses that have added countless chairs around the dinner table on Christmas Day. There has been tough love and the kind of love that makes you drop to your knees and thank God for the opportunity to be together in one place on the same day. Through the immense mountain of wrapping paper and occasional fistfight over a board game not going our way, one thing always remains, love. That is the best Christmas gift of all. Breaking bread with people who will be there for me when the rest of the world goes away. I am grateful for each and everyone of them. They are so unique, so different from one another and they are my family. My people, my tribe, my safe haven. The people who make home so much more than a house on a road in a small town. They are my circle of love and life. I can’t wait to spend another Christmas there and will smile to myself at the new face that will be at our table this year. So many blessings.
I’m not sure what is worse, packing or thinking about packing? Why is the mind so counterproductive sometimes? Just get up and do it. Where is that voice? Suck it up buttercup and get it done. What’s even worse? Procrastinating and then blogging about it. Wish me luck.
Headway is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes to watching my children grow in leaps and bounds. I think I have officially survived the worst of the teenage years when it comes to my daughter. I sat back and watched painfully as her attitude and work ethic became more of a hindrance than a positive trait. Lately though, something magical has been happening. She is smiling more and the amount of dedication she has been putting into her school work and studies is admirable and her grades are the best payoff of all. I’ve mentioned that she is a swimmer. Her best stroke is the 100 fly but she has refused to do the 200 fly the last few years because well, it requires pain, hard work and physical along with mental exhaustion. Her coach put her in that event today. I gave her permission to scratch because I didn’t want to hear the complaining. She got up and left at 6:10 and almost seemed to be excited to be going. Not only did she drop ten seconds and make it to finals, she is actually going back to swim it again.
To all you parents who have lost hope, the teenage years are hard. Just when you feel like giving up hope, something wonderful changes overnight. We just have to trust that those selfish, bad attitude teens will turn around and if you’re patient enough, when you least expect it, they probably will. Here’s to a positive moment in parenting. Cheers!
We have this silly count down to Christmas snowman. The only problem is, he is a little off on his days and no one has gotten around to fixing him. For the last few days, my son has been asking if it’s six days until Christmas, five days until Christmas etc. I even thought about getting him a calendar because I couldn’t understand how he could be so confused. After all, he is 13, doesn’t he know how many days are in the month? Then I noticed the snowman today and it was obvious why he’s been a little confused.
I feel like I’ve been split open and stuffed with sunshine. Tahereh Mafi
I love this time of year! This seemed like the perfect quote for today. May everyone feel the joy and magic of this beautiful season.
I had a chance meeting with an elderly checkout woman at Target yesterday. She looked into my eyes and asked, how are you today honey? I paused for a minute, shrugged my shoulders and explained to her I was having a rough day. I was frazzled. I left my wallet on a counter in another store earlier and everything I touched seemed to drop onto the floor. Her advice was priceless and I am grateful for her words. She told me in the years she has lived that she has learned to slow down. She told me that no matter how fast I try and outrun everything I need to do, there will always be more waiting. I thought about it for a minute and I realized that she was probably right. I was exhausting myself trying to outrun a train that would always be on my heels. How long could I possibly keep that up before I finally got run over? Sometimes it’s trying to stay ahead of thoughts and emotions. Trying to prevent things from happening is just as exhausting of dealing with whatever it is that slaps me across the face to finally get my attention.
Today, I went out and started my car to find out I had left the lights on and my battery was dead. Sure, this is the second time in a short period of time but maybe it was more. Maybe it was the Universe telling me to just stay home and chill out. Stop running Kim. Sit down for a while. The question is, what am I running from? That’s the problem. When I physically sit, my thoughts start racing. Maybe that’s why I keep physically moving in the first place. Who knows but either way I am meant to be right where I am. Right here with no ability to go anywhere else. I might as well make the best of it.