Are You Insane?

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. 

I have another meeting at the school today to discuss new accommodations for Chase. They aren’t really new ideas but rather worded in a new way they hope will be more specific for teachers to understand. This is their sneaky way of getting away with doing nothing. If we continue to talk about ways to change the 504, we never then have to focus on how to enforce it. Usually on days where I have to sit down with the same administers that have caused me nothing but grief, I have an increased amount of anxiety and border on melting down into a full blown panic attack. Today is different. I have a new calm and a new confidence and they can no longer shake me. The meeting is pointless. The world will not be fixed in one day and certainly their word will not mean a thing overnight either. Like it or not, people are predictable and often they repeat the same patterns over and over. They are not really willing to change but always eager to talk a good talk. Today I am going to listen without interest and without any hope for change. It’s like that trip to the dentist every six months that you aren’t psyched about but cannot avoid. You just go sit in the chair, stare at the light and hope the time passes quickly so you can get up and leave. That is my approach today. I will not get worked up or upset by people who do not mean a thing. These people have shown their true colors and are never going to change despite the millions of times we set aside to meet. Wish me luck as I allow my thoughts to fade into the light. They will no longer tell me who I am in there. I am strong, I am confident and I am a mom who would do anything to make sure her child gets what he needs. I know now that so don’t need their help to make that happen. I can do it all on my own. 

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