One week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes.
For weeks I have been sabotaging myself. The more I practice this devoted art of self hatred, the more addicting it becomes. Out of control seems to be the theme these last two months. Why do I do it?
Does it feel good?
Does it make me happy?
Do I want to continue this ridiculous pattern?
Do I really need to eat an entire bag of mini Cadbury eggs in one day?
Well yes, of course, so why do I keep buying bag after bag, week after week?
The answer is simple. There is some messed up part of me that feels the need to bring what I cannot control on the outside to the inside of me as well. It’s like I am a rebellious little girl that says, you think it’s out of control out there? Wait until you see how uncontrolled it can be in here.
It’s sad. It’s stupid and it doesn’t make a bit a sense. So, I am devoting this next week to counteracting every self loathing behavior with healthy behaviors that will actually make me feel, well, I’m guessing pretty darn good.
Will it be hard?
Will I try and talk myself out of it?
Can I do this for one whole week?
One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Ready, set, go!