Taking Out the Garbage

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One week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes.

For weeks I have been sabotaging myself. The more I practice this devoted art of self hatred, the more addicting it becomes. Out of control seems to be the theme these last two months. Why do I do it?

Does it feel good?

No!

Does it make me happy?

No!

Do I want to continue this ridiculous pattern?

No!

Do I really need to eat an entire bag of mini Cadbury eggs in one day?

Well yes, of course, so why do I keep buying bag after bag, week after week?

The answer is simple. There is some messed up part of me that feels the need to bring what I cannot control on the outside to the inside of me as well. It’s like I am a rebellious little girl that says, you think it’s out of control out there? Wait until you see how uncontrolled it can be in here.

It’s sad. It’s stupid and it doesn’t make a bit a sense. So, I am devoting this next week to counteracting every self loathing behavior with healthy behaviors that will actually make me feel, well, I’m guessing pretty darn good. 

Will it be hard?

Yes!

Will I try and talk myself out of it?

Yes!

Can I do this for one whole week?

Yes!

One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Ready, set, go!

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8 thoughts on “Taking Out the Garbage

  1. Best intentions……….. go to pot here too. Best way to deal with it? Don’t take any money with me when walking the dog! Sadly if the yummy stuff is in the boat, it’s eaten, usually in one sitting, even if we’d bought a full week’s supply 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is unsolicited input so read no further if you are not in the market. I used to scoff at the idea of the “child within”, you know the one that needs nurturing and has temper tantrums. However, I have discovered that my emotional maturity stopped at age 15. I am realizing that I have to parent that young girl by stopping what I am doing and give her attention. When I get into an argument, I have this need to comfort her with food because that is what I did growing up. I was lucky then because I had a high metabolism but now not so much. It has been recommended to me to substitute something soothing for food when these things happen. Actually, I have found cleaning house to fill the bill but I would think a walk, a good book, a hot bath etc. Sounds simplistic but it makes sense to me.🙃

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Gracie Phillips

    Submitting was the hard part. Now to stick to it like glue will be easy I you don’t doubt yourself and there’s no reason to doubt yourself so your practically there already.

    Liked by 1 person

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