We Are Getting So Good At Pointing Fingers


I fight every single day to look for a reason to believe in people. I search for even an ounce of kindness, support, encouragement, and compassion. I just can’t believe the direction we have taken lately. I have seen so many opinionated comments going back and forth on Facebook over this horrific zoo story. As a mother myself, who I admit has lost my children from time to time, I sympathize with this mother. I am nowhere close to being a perfect parent or a perfect person. I am a human being wrapped in flaws and continuing to make ongoing mistakes. I am hard enough on myself so how dare anyone else point a finger at me when I already have one pointed at myself. My point is, a gorilla died. It is tragic and unfortunate but I can only imagine how terrified and devastated this mother was as this scene unfolded. If it wasn’t horrific enough, now we join together as one voice to sign a petition in hopes of bringing criminal charges or some type of investigation against the parent who never imagined her day at the zoo would turn out like this. Were those 15 minutes of hell not punishment enough? Who do we think we are that we have to criticize, blame and punish…yes punish someone from making a mistake. We will make her pay. Seriously? Will that bring the gorilla back? Will it undo the unfortunate fall that little child had to endure. Maybe we should beat the child. Yes, I actually saw comments that if the child had the fear of God or knew he’d get a beaten then he never would have wandered off in the first place. Are you kidding me? Can these people making these comments actually have kids? God only knows I have taken my eyes off of my children before. Damn I’m not proud but seriously, don’t we all have moments when we screw up or make an honest mistake? I want to hug this poor mother because I’ve felt the fear of losing a child. I shudder as I remember even though it is years in the past. Guess what? I even had people blame me for my daughter having a 30 minute seizure. I’ve been that parent who didn’t realize my child had a high fever. It still hurts to remember. I drove 3 hours to a hospital not knowing if my child was dead or alive because they took her by helicopter to another hospital. That was the longest, scariest ride of my entire life and I’ve never been the same. Being a parent is an endless, exhausting job and we do the best we can can Guess what? Shit happens and beating ourselves up or getting beat up by someone else about it does not change a single thing. These people who judge, are they better? Are they perfection disguised in a human body? I just cannot believe that we have a more critical crowd than a compassionate one. Can’t we for one small, single second put ourselves in someone’s shoes and maybe feel a little tug on our hearts instead of our mouths and egos. Why do we have to blame anyone at all? Isn’t the situation devastating enough?

10 thoughts on “We Are Getting So Good At Pointing Fingers

  1. Good points – very well made – I’ve made PLENTY of mistakes whilst raising my children………because I’m only human!

    It is a very tragic story as I believe the gorilla did not actually intend to harm the child he could so easily have killed if he wished to. The ZOO should be held accountable on charges of not doing enough to prevent this incident (better enclosure security/safe guarding) – It should NEVER have happened, sadly it did; the mother and child already have suffered enough. That’s my opinion anyway – Thank you for defending the mother and being HUMAN!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was thinking the same thing. There should have been no chance of that being able to happen. I’m really surprised the zoo didn’t take more precautions.
      Thank you so much for the comment. I always try and defend the little guy and hard as it is, I really donated and put myself in someone else’s shoes. Life is hard enough without is making it even harder for one another.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The fact that a small child could come remotely close to falling in is a fail on the zoo’s part. Build a protective structure suitable for keeping people AND gorillas where they belong; people out, gorillas in. Still sad the gorilla had to die, but one bad reaction and that animal could have ripped that child into pieces.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. the-reluctant-parent

    Hi Kim.

    Here’s someone else’s take on this whole story and I don’t know if you follow this person’s blog or of she follows you but notice my response to the situation, which, as usual, takes the incident as a microcosm of what’s happening in our culture and though I’m not the best big picture thinker, I always try to extrapolate and apply specific incidences to a more broad social context if I can.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing. That is a perfect example of what I am seeing on Facebook. I just cannot judge another parent when I have made similar mistakes. I loved your response and totally agree that there has to be balance in allowing children freedom and in supervision. Bottom line is we only have 2 eyes and it’s impossible to have them on a child at ALL times. Thank you for sharing!


  4. If you want my opinion–ha, right?:P–I would have thought a zoo professional could get into that ravine and talk the gorilla into letting the child go. From what I saw, the gorilla was as scared of the people screaming as it was concerned for the child. The gorilla was curious about how the human was built, checking out his pants/shorts, and looked as if he was trying to return the child to the raised platform but not sure how to do so. There was no reason to kill the gorilla. And, frankly, I blame the parents for not being in better control of their child. Zoos are just as precarious as the US border and who gets into the country via plane from deceptively safe locations. We can be paranoid and make ridiculous safety/security measures that violate privacy and get on nerves….or we can be more responsible for lives, including the life of a prized gorilla who probably didn’t want to be in that zoo in the first place. Shame on professionals for resorting to killing. Had the child been killed because the gorilla chose to harm him–which I doubt would have been the case–THEN you shoot the gorilla.

    You talked in another post about what we teach kids, the lessons of good deeds. What did we teach the apes? That we get scared easily and will shoot with little provocation. Maybe that will keep the gorillas in line…or lead to uprising. [Sorry, I just get Planet of the Apes on the brain when apes come up in the news.] And, we teach our kids its just as okay to kill the apes as it its to step on a bug because “it’s creepy.”

    The gorilla is dead. The kid has been returned safely to the parents. Hopefully, he won’t try anything like that, again. But, if I had to place bets on that, I’d say the kid would do it, again, within a year. Why? Cuz only a kid daring enough to try and get away with that would dare, again. I doubt he was traumatized by his mistake. I really do. If anything is to be done, the zoo needs to put up added protection to prevent another situation like that. Not order more guns or hire more gunmen. Unless this is the zoo of the NRA.


    • There are many who share your views. I am not one of them. I believe the kid was three right? To me that’s just a baby. Thank goodness he probably won’t even remember. I had daring kids. Kids have no fear so they live by a different set of rules than we do. Tomorrow everyone will be pointing fingers back and forth about something else. Maybe this constant access to one another and news in not such a good thing for us after all. Everyone feels so entitled to their opinion that they will go to war with one another over the latest headline. It’s sad. That’s all.


  5. Kids do what kids do and gorillas do what gorillas do. I blame no one, but it could happen to anyone. The mother suffered for her mistake, the child suffered for his mistake, the gorilla suffered for his natural instinct and the zoo suffered for their presumed mistake. It’s very sad but it could happen to anyone even though there are people who would like to believe they will never make a mistake. A child who is so controlled that they never have a mishap will never be safe on its own. Thanks for caring enough to post on this subject.๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    Liked by 1 person

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