Sometimes I Just Need to Vent

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Sometimes I feel like a lousy parent. The older my kids get, the less I am their model to follow. I look at what’s happening in the world and the parallel with my own children. I watch this laziness among people and no attempt to even try and meet expected deadlines. I watch them spin the truth and deceive me by leading me to believe something when they know darn well it isn’t true. I watch them not hand work into school on time and not care because there are no consequences. Worst of all, I see a lack of fear. I watch the wrong doing of several influential individuals who escape accountability and consequences an entire lifetime. I watch media spin opinions into the truth they want me to believe when I know darn right well it isn’t true. I watch teachers not follow my sons 504 and then threaten and intimidate me when I call them out. I watch the system of checks and balance not follow up on a complaint of discrimination against a school who for all sense and purposes blatantly did not follow the law. I watch people disrespect cops and ignore their orders and wonder why they get shot. I watch a few cops shoot to kill and I wonder why they couldn’t shoot to wound. The world is spinning out of control and I am so dizzy I can barely breathe. I witness people I have known an entire lifetime call each other names and accuse each other of horrible things because they commit to voting for a certain candidate. I watch people pick and choose what is okay and what is not based on who the  person is. I watch double standards and people acting in the same manner they claim to abhor. I watch people spread hate and contempt, the very people who accuse others but turn around and do the same. I feel my heart break as I see the way we treat one another and at the same time feel no remorse. I watch us judge and label and humiliate and my heart breaks a little more. Sometimes I sit down long enough and it all catches up and I need to take a minute to just breathe. I need to repeat the serenity prayer and believe that I have to find a way to let go of what I cannot change and continue to change the things I can. I have to choose to see good in people and everything around me and remember  I do the best I can and I have no control over the rest. I cannot carry the weight of the world but I have to always be prepared to carry my own share. Some days are just harder than others. Some days I need encouragement so my own cup is full. Some days I need to say what’s on my mind and not be afraid. Some days I just need to step back and take a little break. Today is one of those days. 

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2 thoughts on “Sometimes I Just Need to Vent

  1. Division – that is what is becoming of our country. Media is feeding it into us every time we use the internet, listen to the radio and watch the news. We are experiencing sad times, but it’s people like you who we need to stay strong in the midst of it all. The world needs good people, with open minds and love in their hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

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