Some days there is a brutal battle between my mind and body. One part of me wants to sit in peace while the other part incessantly reminds me why sitting is not an option. The mind is a powerful thing. Learn to tame it or it will take control over you. Repeat after me…peace is good. Thoughts are generally a waste of time. Take that walk. Enjoy the outdoors. Practice inner peace. It’s okay not to have a plan or agenda. It is healthy to take time to rejuvenate your soul. My intention today is to allow peace to fill me up and I extend that intention to you as well. Be at peace. Be the peace the world desperately needs right now.
I have a feeling that last night was a hint of what is coming. I haven’t had a sleepless night in quite a while but last night seemed to go on forever. This is the second night in a row where I was awakened by nightmares that sent me into complete panic.
On Monday, we drove four hours to take my daughter to college orientation. I guess that’s where the reality of her leaving really took hold. I walked around this intimidating campus choking back pain as I realized this would be her new home. No more checking her bedroom at night to make sure she was safe and sound. No more rides to Dairy Queen or meeting her for lunch in the middle of the day. The world as I knew it was about to come crashing down around me and like it or not, I was not given a choice or time to adjust.
My heart is heavy. I am grieving for the little girl I am desperately trying to let go of. I don’t always recognize this new face or the body that is the same size as mine. Wasnt it just yesterday that I was singing Barney songs and taking her to the park in that beat up red wagon? In my dreams, my fear is in control so I make the decision to stay awake. I wrestle with so many thoughts I cannot control. How will I stand to live in this house that will feel so empty? What will life be like without her in it everyday? My eyes are tired and the answers escape me. I need sleep but it still won’t come. One day at a time I remind myself as I crawl out of bed drained and weary. One day at a time is all I can handle. I may not be able to take on months at a time but 24 hours is something I know I can tackle.
Appreciate your life as it is today. We live in a constant state of change and we have to embrace what is right there in front of us each and everyday.
It’s very hot here today. Earlier I found myself floating in the pool thinking there was nowhere else I would rather be. It’s taken me several years but slowly and surely I have learned to relax. In this fast paced, busy world so many of us struggle to find a way to relax. Feeling calm and allowing ourselves to rest have become a thing of the past. I read Facebook posts about friends spending the entire weekend running from one sporting event to another and I cringe at the thought. Some have every week of the summer planned out but for me and my family, summer is a time to recover and rest. The day doesn’t have to be jammed with activities for life to be meaningful. All these activities and ridiculous things we tell ourselves we have to do are just things. Peace of mind and a moment to just breathe will be much more beneficial than a schedule that leaves us feeling drained and exhausted. It’s almost as if the notion of balance has been lost. I’ve been chasing it my entire life and I’ve worked hard to find out what that means for me. So today, find the balance you need. Learn to say no to the things that don’t really matter and yes to the things that do. You may think those decisions are impossible to make but you have way more control than you think.
We can certainly blame others for our words and actions but at the end of the day we own every decision we make. I remember as a small child using someone else as an excuse for my behavior. My mothers response was always the same, “if someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?” Of course my answer was always no. Why as a society do we have the need to place blame on someone? Why do we feel the need to inflict shame on someone already going through a difficult set on circumstances? What the world needs is a little less shaming and a lot more loving and understanding. Which category do you fit into? Are you a shamer or an understander?
Today is Friday. Isn’t that reason enough to feel grateful on this glorious day? As I walked into target earlier to buy a cake mix, I thought of all the reasons I am grateful that my husband is the father of my children. He is a man who exudes kindness, gentlesess and compassion. He is a man who listens with the intent of hearing and answers with the intent of challenging one to think beyond his or her usual limits. He loves chocolate cake. So we are kicking the weekend off with a cake baked with love and gratitude in his honor. What are you feeling grateful for today? Let’s share it far and wide.
I feel so many emotions throughout the day. I’m on a personal mission to feel grateful far more than I feel anything else. It’s only day two on this journey but just bringing awareness to my thoughts and feelings has had a major impact. I have caught myself going to that place that leads me somewhere dark. I immediately switch my focus to something that makes me feel happy and hopeful. It’s easy to let darkness and negativity in. It’s like a fog that works its way into the cracks until I am surrounded and cannot find my way out. It comes at me from all sides until slowly I remove myself from its reach. Sometimes that means staying away from people and television and anything else that tries to suck me in on a regular basis. What is the secret to happiness? I do believe its gratitude. Not only does it keep my heart and mind in a loving place but it also gives me the motivation to continue my mission to make this world a better, more compassionate, kinder place. What are you feeling grateful for tonight? I’d love to hear about it. Let’s share more of that.
I watched a little of the testimony by Jeff Sessions today. I’m not feeling so well and my body decided to force a day of rest on me. I could care less about politics but what I saw today left me feeling somewhat hopeful. As I watched Mr Sessions today I found a role model that has been missing from the world for quite a while. His eyes were warm and not filled with contempt. His voice was soft and respectful, a kindness in his tone I don’t hear very often, including in my own voice. He is a modern day super hero as far as I am concerned because I just don’t see that calm, respectful interaction between people anymore. It is something I long for but try as I may, I have been unsuccessful so far. I hope someday I can speak to others especially when I feel threatened the way I saw him do today. I just thought I’d point it out. I am reminded of the words I wrote in my daughters yearbook earlier this year. Just be you. The world will adjust. We need more people who change the world and less people so easily changed by it.