Where I Have Been

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I guess you could say I disappeared from WordPress for a while. To put it mildly, the last few weeks have been a total whirlwind.   My youngest finished up his first year of high school. After hours of useless busywork, tutors and endless study sessions, he finished the semester with some pretty terrific grades. Everything comes with a cost. Exhaustion was the result. My oldest graduated high school but not without unnecessary drama that is still too raw to even talk about. Bittersweet yes but the whole situation will leave a scar. I’ve had family in town for three weeks and I am grateful for the company. It is so hard living so far away sometimes and I appreciate that they made the trip to share such a momentous occassion.

 A week ago I held my cat in my arms as I felt life slip away from her. My heart was so heavy as I watched her lie there helplessly gasping for air as she stared into my eyes. She took her last breath right there in her favorite spot on my bed and every night the sadness returns as I try and fall asleep. So much crazy jammed into a few short weeks and I am left feeling drained but relaxed knowing summer is finally here. One thing I have learned is that the feeling will pass. Fear, anxiety, pain, regret, panic….it all eventually comes to an end. So many emotions are situational and although time will never completely heal every wound, it will patch them enough to give me the energy to stand back up and keep moving on. That is the lesson I will take from these last few weeks. I will remind myself that no matter what curve ball life will throw, this too shall pass. The inning will end and a new one will begin. The waiting it out part is hard but sometimes I am grateful that time cannot stand still. Every second is different. Change is the only thing we can count on for sure. If this moment is uncomfortable, another one is on the way. I’ve also learned to soak in the moments that matter. When life feels good, reach out and grab it. Bottle it up and save it for a day you need a little extra inspiration. Life is a rollercoaster and we can’t choose the parts we want to ride so sit back and take it all in. Scream when you’re scared and throw you’re arms in the air when you’re having a good time. Just be present and let it flow through. We never know what tomorrow will bring and we can’t miss out living today. 

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