Today I woke up bursting with energy. It’s Friday and after a long week filled with some interesting obstacles, the weekend is almost here. We are headed to see my daughter at college for family weekend and it will be so nice to step away from the usual mundane to do something a little bit different. We forget sometimes how important it is to do something that makes us feel excited and alive. The soul needs to be nourished too and when we get caught up in the stuff that really doesn’t matter, we lose that spark that makes us feel grateful to be alive. I hope your Friday is filled with love, happiness and hope. Have a fantastic day.
Sometimes I wake up to a load I don’t feel ready to carry. I barely have my eyes open and animals need to be let out, dishes are in the sink, laundry is so backed up I can’t see over it with 100 things on my to do list. My mind wanders to my kids who are fighting battles of their own and I wince as I think of family far away sitting at a funeral I’m too far away to attend. I whisper to myself quietly, you’ve got this and thank the Lord that this weight that is mine to carry is not too heavy at all. I may not want to face the day but I am more than equipped to handle whatever comes my way. Sometimes it’s okay to admit I need a little rest or to reach out to others for support when I cannot muster up my own.
Whatever battles you are fighting, remember you are not alone. Most of us are most likely feeling the same way. We may hide our worries and troubles behind a half hearted smile but they lurk there quietly as we go about our day. Be kind to everyone you come across. Look into their eyes so they know that someone really sees them. Spread some kindness and compassion and leave people feeling happier than when you found them. It’s the small things that make the biggest impact. Do your part.
There are some weeks where absolutely everything that could possibly go wrong goes terribly wrong. There is so much comfort in knowing that these short spells do pass and tomorrow offers a brand new day and a clean slate filled with hope and faith. I used to feel panicked when the world crumbled at my feet and I couldn’t figure out to put it back together. Now, I know that even when things don’t seem to go as planned, the unexpected twists and turns lead to a better place. So hold on! Keep the faith and remember that life unfolds the way it should, not always the way we think it should and that’s okay.
This morning is testing my own philosophy to not sweat the small stuff. How many times have I preached to not get crazy over the things I cannot change? So why am I so aggravated that my husband brought my son to take his permit test and they both forgot an important paper and had to go back home? To those of you struggling to be better, more forgiving, patient, and understanding, I am right there struggling with you today. Happy Wednesday! We’ve got this.
Don’t get entrenched in someone else’s battlefield. You don’t have to attend every spectacle you’re invited to. Sometimes less is more and minding your own business is the best option. There are enough fighters already. Be a lover. Be the calm. Be an example. Be the difference. Take the road that doesn’t make the headlines. Remain a constant positive force to light a path through the negativity that’s trying to engulf us.
I’ve been hesitant to share this but I feel the time is finally right. A while back, I filed a discrimination case against the school with The Office of Civil Rights. The school absolutely refused to meet my sons accommodations and after begging and pleading for several years, I realized I had no other option than to go this route. I really thought foolishly that teachers and administrators would bend over backwards to help kids anyway they could. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Just like those NFL players, I took my place in front of them week after week trying to be heard. I tried negotiating, begging, bargaining and anything else I could think of to get him the resources he needed. They pushed back hard. The principal tried to threaten and intimidate me to make me go away. Chase started to see repercussions in a particular class and I had to pull him out and place him with another teacher. Our family was falling apart. I kept fighting because like any mother, I would do anything to get my son the help he needed. I was placed on depression medication and had panic attacks where I couldn’t breathe. The situation was killing me but it wasn’t right to let them get away with this and I never wanted a single kid or family to go through what we had to endure. It was the worst time in my entire life. I was interviewed by OCRs lawyer and told I would hear from them. I did 16 months later.
In the meantime, my son switched over to high school and slowly but surely life was getting back to normal. There was a day I assumed OCR would never get back to me and I came to the realization that if I remained obsessed with that debilitating experience, I would allow those teachers and that horrible administrator to lock me in that hell that I didn’t want to live in anymore. It was ruining my life. My noble notion to do something good for future kids along with my need to see these horrible people pay a price was killing me slowly one day at a time. Guess what! No one cares. No one came to rescue me as I was drowning in a pain I never should have owned. The only choice I had was to let it go. By holding onto my obsession to hold these people rightly accountable, I was losing precious days of finding joy and living my life.
I received a letter from OCR two weeks ago (now 18 months) stating that because the allotted time expired since filing my complaint, my case was being closed and no investigation would take place. Was this fair that due to them dragging their feet to get around to my case that I was being punished? You bet your ass it isn’t but guess what? That’s the way it is and crying and dwelling on it will not change the circumstances anyway. I never had a chance because when there is no enforcement of codes and rules and laws, people can do whatever they want. The wrong people are being protected and like it or not that’s just the way it is.
I’m happy to report I am off my medication and feel happy and grateful most of the time. Chase is doing fantastic in school and I think our lives are no longer controlled by the school system.
Life isn’t fair. Period. This chapter is closed and this story is over. It feels so good to put it behind me and really move on. Put down what is too heavy for you to carry. Stop choosing to be a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking people should care about your problems. Stop trying to punish those who cause you pain. Stop thinking the world owes you a favor or you are entitled to a better outcome. Be your own hero and do everything you can to fix whatever you can and leave the rest behind. Move on, be grateful and focus on what is good in your life. Only then will you truly be free.
These words have never echoed in my heart like they do today. I can hear the discouragement in people’s posts. I hear it in their words and I can see it in the eyes of most people I meet. We are all thinking the same thing? How can we fix a world that is so broken? How can we move past damage that almost seems irreparable?
These are tough times. I see people looking for someone to blame. The truth is, we are all to blame. We cannot point a finger at a single person and honestly believe he or she is the real cause. No one has that much power. It takes an infestation of many minds and many hearts to see damage as great as this. We expect the most broken to fix themselves but the kind of leadership that would take is unrecognizable to the ones who need it most. Change and healing start with each one of us. We the little people must be the game changer. The big people, the ones who own the limelight have failed us miserably. It is time for the little people to start the ripple of respect and healing that screams so loud that there isn’t a soul too lost to hear it. We must come together for a cause that is greater than each one of us. Have we become too spoiled? Are we selfless enough to sacrifice our own needs for the greater good? I will not contribute to the further destruction of my country or a single human being in it. I will not play a game that has consequences that will devastate a country I love. We all send out energy. Everything we do and say is like a ripple that keeps on going. Send out love. Focus your time on energy on what is right. Dwell on the positive. Lift the vibe up. We are low enough.
Take a knee, don’t take a knee…I just don’t care. I don’t want to be sucked into the endless drama. I will say this though. I have seen several posts telling people what the flag does or not represent and my answer is this. Our experiences and our journey through life determines what something means to us personally. No one has a right to label, define or determine what value something holds for us. Here’s a little story.
Last year I was at an all time low. I was dwelling on the things I was powerless to change and the hopelessness that filled my heart was excruciating. I remember the moment when everything changed and I chuckle even now as I think about it today. I went to Hollywood Studios and I was sitting in a musical sing along for the show Frozen. Let It Go came on and the words hit me like a strike of lightening. In that moment, I became one with an energy that remained part of me. Some could argue it’s just a silly Disney song or represents a meaningless children’s movie but for me it became so much more…my grit, my hope, my determination, my inspiration to get back to being me. Today I walked 5 miles and that song played over and over on repeat for every single step. It is my reminder to leave yesterday behind and keep moving forward. Who knows where my steps will take me but anywhere is better than standing in the same place.
Let the storm rage on for everyone else but have enough love and respect for each moment you are given to have the courage to Let that #### Go! That is where freedom really is.
I am so grateful my son gets excited about random acts of kindness. Today I got a text from him explaining to me what happened during lunch. Starting this year, the kids are allowed to leave campus and eat at the local restaurants. I know like most parents, my husband and I give Chase an allotment and it has to last him all week. Realistically I know it’s near impossible so somedays the kids eat fries or split something. Today they walked a half mile to a local fast food place. All the kids were eating except for one when the manager approached and asked why? She explained she was out of money for the week and the manager brought her a small bite to eat adding that she couldn’t go all day without eating. Some may find this offensive but to me, this is humanity at its best. My son was very moved at her concern and kindness and I can only hope that this is something that someday he might pay forward. All it takes is one person to notice and care enough to make someone’s day a little bit brighter. Thank you to the kind women who offered such hope in a time when hope seems sometimes lost. There is no doubt we will share the word and fully support this local business. Thank you for being the change we so need in the world. This is the America I grew up in and love. This is the America where we have one another’s back and reach out through our community to take care of one another.. This is the America where kindness and compassion are practiced each and everyday. Yes, there is hope and today it came from a manager who sent this wonderful ripple out into our community.