I was driving my son to school this morning and hearing the few words he managed to mutter through his mouth caught me by surprise.
“Can’t you talk about something I do that’s good?”
Silence. That was my reaction. He was tossing my own sermon right back into my face and I sat there engulfed by my own guilt. I’ve felt that same way before. I do so many things right so why do the people I love point out the few things I do wrong? When I’ve needed support, I too have received tough love and criticism. There’s nothing worse when you’re already down than someone trying to keep you there.
This is a reminder to everyone including myself that our words come with consequence. We have to pick and choose words that inspire others and lift them up. We have to consciously be aware whether we are focusing on someone’s positive or dwelling on their negative. Don’t we all need more conversations about how awesome we are and how much we already do that’s worth mentioning? Be a light and use your words to make someone shine today. Focus on the positive and watch someone grow right before your eyes. Will you join me?
anewperspectiveperhaps 
I know I struggle with seeing the negatives. I will join you and work on positives.
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Awesome! We can do this 🙂
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Good post
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Thanks!
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Yea, talk to my mother about this one. I doubt she will listen.
I’ve been standing at the breaking point between striving to do better in the eyes of others and just accepting being in the wrong for a long time. It makes me think of that song by One Republic. Something like “I feel so right, doing the wrong thing. I feel so wrong, doing the right thing.”
I’d join you if I knew I could curb my mouth as much as I need to vent/defend myself. You can only take so much of being “wrong” before you start telling others the same or avoiding the situation (which only leads to dark, lonely and sometimes dangerous places). It’s hard to lift others up when I feel lifting myself is a trial and a half, when I don’t feel supported/accepted. But, I normally am just as capable of telling people what they did right as well as what they do that does not agree with me.
I look at life this way: I am not always right, and, as long as I can admit I am occasionally wrong, I am doing okay. It’s people who refuse to feel any guilt whatsoever that are the scary ones.
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You make some interesting points. It’s so hard to balance trying to please people and accepting who the heck you are exactly the way you are. I own it all. I am who I am without apology. I do not accept others to be perfect and slowly but surely I have learned to overlook my own imperfections.
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I am starting to think who we are is never certain, thus loving ourselves fully is always out of reach. The world we live in makes demands of us, and those demands may force/prod us to make decisions we may not like ourselves to have made, later, thus creating potential regrets.
When I am who I am without apology, I usually end up in hot water. So…I don’t feel too safe thinking that way, anymore. As much as I might like to be the rebel in black leather and sunglasses, I fear my movie would have a quick and unpleasant end if I stuck with that thinking.
No one may be perfect, but there are those who you can’t help looking at like goddesses… 😀
Sadly, more imperfections appear in/on me, and that just makes the task of accepting myself and getting on with life even harder. It’s like being in a boat that keeps forming new leaks. You consider abandoning ship.
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