Sometimes it’s hard to practice what you preach. I usually love November because it’s a time I actively focus on the things I am grateful for. However, this year the challenge was much greater than I could’ve imagined. I could come up with something I should be grateful for but the feelings didn’t accompany the words. I have been moving through life recently unenthused. It’s painful to admit the emptiness I have been consumed with lately. Depression has crept back into the shadows and left me feeling cold and dark. I used to say, there is always something to be grateful for and I believe those words ring true today. However, feeling grateful and listing things to be grateful for are very different from one another. I’ve come to the realization that the real struggle lies somewhere between our expectation of someone or something and the actual reality they bring to our lives. It’s hard to feel grateful and disappointed at the same time. Today I felt called to go back to yoga and I did. More on that story later but the first thing the instructor said to me was just don’t judge yourself. The words made me want to cry. I haven’t been practicing self love and the truth is I haven’t felt much love toward others. I have felt frustration, disappointment and even anger. I had shut down completely and built those walls so high around myself, I couldn’t even feel the wind less an ounce of gratitude. You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge so even though it hurts to speak the truth, I look forward to allowing the healing to begin. What is something that is easier for you to preach and harder for you to practice?