I’ve written posts before about denial and how it holds me back. I went to a yoga retreat a while ago and we talked about the key to healing any part of your life or succeeding in places you have failed before. It all came down to one simple thing…getting real with yourself. Sometimes it is painful to say the truth out loud so we find a way to twist the truth to help us accept it better. The key is admitting that we all tell ourselves bullshi$ stories and it is those stories that sabotage our chance at real growth.
Recently, my eating has spiraled out of control. I kept telling myself my pants were feeling tighter because I was bloated when the real truth is I had completely fallen off the wagon of sticking to a reasonable amount of calories. Today I stepped on the scale and the bs story was ripped right out from underneath me. I avoided that scale for weeks but deep down I was well aware of what was happening. Avoiding the scale led me away from my goal and all that manipulative self talk did nothing but hurt me in the end. I’ve been down this road before and today I make a new commitment to stay honest with myself.
So today I challenge you to confess one of your bs stories. I look forward to hearing them.
anewperspectiveperhaps 
I am really enjoying your post. Thank you so much for the positive post. I am a young high school teacher in Los Angeles and in my life I have been through so much. I tried committing suicide 3 times at a early age. But I’m so grateful that God gave me my purpose in life. I write blogs to help others. I subscribed to you. I hope you support my blog as well and enjoy my read.
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Thanks for sharing. I also share some of the hard stuff to help others. I am so glad you have turned a tough situation into something positive. I will check out your blog❤️
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I agree with the general thrust of your article but it’s bit of leap of being honest with yourself and publicly posting it on the Internet. I’m definitely not that brave. However I admire your bravery and honesty.
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We had to admit ours in front of a roomful of people. It was terrifying but the amount of support in that room brought an immense healing. It was an amazing experience.
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I try to convince myself that the deterioration of the relationship between my dad and I doesn’t bother me, or that I’m over it and have moved. Much as I hate to admit it to myself, thats bullshit. I miss it, regret it, and know I’ll never forgive myself if he passes before I can resolve it. That wasn’t easy to write. 😔
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Thank you for sharing that. That is a really tough one because time has a way of causing us to make some tough decisions and necessary changes. I pray you find a way to find some peace and resolution. It’s not too late! You got this!
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I’m not even sure when it started, nor am I sure how to fix it. Or if I’ll ever have peace about it. Lord knows I’ve tried.
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Where there’s a will there’s a way. Stay open to finding a path to closure. Sometimes what we need comes from the most unexpected sources. Hang in there my friend.
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I have a difficult relationship with my own father though I never thought he and I would get like that. I thought that stuff was just for the dramatic villains in movies. But, I’m living it, just on a different level. Alas, I don’t think I can truly change my dad’s mind about me. Both my parents seem rooted in their thoughts of me, even when they briefly change their minds and say something nice, the old record resurfaces if I brush the subject. So, rather than worry or fuss about resolving the matter, I must make peace by accepting I cannot change their attitudes or thoughts of me. I can only mind my distance so I don’t go down with their ship. I wish our relationship was better. But, the only way I could fix it would be to submit myself to their every whim, and that would not satisfy them. Nor would I ever be in the right because, as with many similar faces I’ve encountered in this life, I am never right with them. And, they were not right for me.
The best you can do is do unto Father as you would have him do unto you. Then you can rest knowing you took no action out of anger on the one who troubles your heart.
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I think your last paragraph says it all. Thanks for that. That is really all I can do, for my own peace. 😊
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Peace for you both and all in contact with you two, family and friends.
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Thanks. Peace sounds good on this subject. 😊
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That’s a really tough situation to swallow. Sometimes no matter what you do you will never measure up to someone’s expectations of who they think you should be. As a parent, I am guilty of doing the same to my own children and that comes along with a ton of guilt. Everyday I remind myself I need to love and accept them for who they are and bury my idea of who I thought they would be. We all just want to be loved and accepted especially by our parents so I am really working on getting better about making them feel better about who they are. Sometimes our expectations blind us to seeing the most amazing parts of someone. Thanks for sharing your story!
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It’s only natural for a creator to set expectations on his/her creation. God places expectations on all of His/Her children in forms like the Ten Commandments. You–though there may be some influence from above/elsewhere–essentially created your children and thus want them to turn out a certain way just as you put a bread dough in the oven, expecting it to bake evenly and take a certain shape.
I am just hoping I don’t get too upset when my parents pass because, to be fair, I never felt accepted or truly loved. Any love I got felt like an obligation. And, maybe I ended up giving them the same, what I felt obligated to give them as a good son. I used to think so highly of them, before my teens and all the trauma that ensued from that time. Now, I’m just tired of fighting, asserting myself and yet afraid of a time when they no longer are around, especially if I don’t have friends to fill in that family gap.
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Yeah good relationship or not it is scary to think about life with our parents gone. It’s sad that relationships have to be so difficult and strained. I don’t think it has to be that way but we humans sure have a way of complicating just about everything. I have a yoga teacher who swears you are born to certain people for a reason. She also made me consider that my daughter was born to change me and not to be shaped by me. Interesting perspective.
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When I think enough about what makes us “human,” I get so sick to my stomach, I’d rather be floating off in space than doing what is “normal.” It really makes ya wonder why we are even here…or why we think the way we do which may or may not be in conflict with the things that sicken me, as if those are what is “okay” in the world, what we should all be comfortable doing or accepting.
Well, I am guessing I was born to my parents as some grand test of will or resilience. It’s like I was born into a gauntlet of ego.
That makes sense. But, so does you wanting to shape the child. Again, you are her creator in part. She did not create you. Yet, she is the one who impacts change upon you as well as yourself. In a way, that change is no different than getting something out of watching television. On the other hand, having that teacher as a child, it’s like twice the responsibility you have with any other teacher. A teacher impacts you if you let them, but you don’t likely worry about the teacher’s safety enough to stalk him/her. But, because this teacher is your daughter, you have feelings tangled up in her lessons.
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Makes sense
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It seems there is an eternal struggle for many if not all of us. For many, eating is like a taunting curse. These curses or trials are like Sisyphus pushing the boulder uphill, in a way. It’s almost cruel how these things haunt us. Yet, I continue to ask how much are we supposed to fight against and how much is coded in our DNA? What forces compel us to resist one path or feel guilty pleasure from it? And, how strong must we be to be truly honest with ourselves? And, how many have honestly achieved that versus all those who cancel out on “new year resolutions” and diet/exercise fads?
Are we lying to ourselves when we deny a more noble, “higher” path…or is the lie what we tell when we think we must be better than what comes naturally, like primal nature? Are we lions claiming to be vegetarian or ducks forced to dress like lions?
As for myself, I walk the fine line between lie and truth so often and see how those around me lie and/or deny things. If I think about it, I only give myself more headaches than I already have. I have to often enough just breathe and have faith that whatever I do will be the path I need to take, even if it feels like a guilty pleasure. If I need to atone, that path will open to me, too. When I need to see something, hopefully, it will become apparent.
Yet, I think of the lie I told about my best friend way back when. We were not just friends…not to me. But, I lied to spare the taunts of peers. I value myself for my blunt honesty, yet I am flawed and capable of lying even to myself.
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