Maybe You Are Part of The Problem and Solution

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It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

Eleanor Roosevelt

There’s a lot of drama playing out in my state with the teacher walkout ongoing. I am seeing roadblocks to finding a solution in every direction and believe me people have been ugly on all sides. Throwing insults and angry outbursts have not gained support from anyone looking to win someone over. There’s been misinformation and twisting of information to garner support on both sides. One post I saw this morning was from a teacher. She was comparing the difference in democrat offices vs. republican offices at the Capitol. According to her, the Democrats left their doors open so people could charge their phones, pump or sit and relax. Republicans doors were shut and locked. I can only speak of what I have seen with my own eyes. I have seen post after post threatening that Republicans will lose their seats and insinuating that the reason Oklahoma schools are so bad is because we have a republican governor. I have watched teachers boo Republicans and cheer for Democrats on public tv. I often wonder if we get so caught up in pointing fingers at others that we forget how our own behavior is a direct result of how people respond to us. I know if my neighbors were walking past my house and waving I would keep my doors open but if they were threatening me and holding signs with insults I would probably lock my doors and close my blinds. These people are even getting death threats. They have been demonized and taken the brunt of the anger every step of the way and it doesn’t seem hard to figure out why there is not a welcome sign on their door and cheese and crackers in the hall. I’m not taking sides I just think we need to stretch our ability to see things for what they are and not what we are trying to make them out to be.

Today I challenge you to think beyond your feelings, your narrow mindedness and your limitations. Perhaps it’s time to talk and judge less and think more. Maybe it’s time to ask ourselves, how am I treating others and am I doing something to elicit an unfavorable response from someone else? These are hard but necessary questions to ask. It’s easy to get caught up in a movement, it’s hard to be objective about what is really happening. Make it your intention and watch how your interpretation of everything starts to change. These are tumultuous times and we have to get real if we ever want to outrun the storm.

Is Your Mind Really Open?

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Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open~Thomas Dewar

I saw this quote today on a friends Facebook page. My first reaction was how to interpret these words. Many people claim they are open minded. I’ve taken that to mean they are accepting of things that not everyone else is. If I am being honest though I am almost certain that people are open to what they are willing to be open to. I wonder though if the real challenge is accomplished when we learn to be open to what we are resistant to. I watch so many people rally support around half truths. Today we manipulate just the right words and portions of the truth to convince ourselves we are fully functioning because we are on the right side of history and we believe our minds are completely open. I think it’s time to stop fooling ourselves and get real about what we are allowing in our own lives. We are better than the half truths and the bs stories we tell ourselves. We have to start using more honesty and common sense and less passion and emotion when we decide what we are actually open to. So I ask you this as I ask myself, how much is your mind really functioning and just how open is it really? It’s certainly something to think about as I sit here on this blustery Saturday morning.

Friday’s Challenge

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Today I challenge you to prove that your words mean something. If you say you are going to do something, follow through and back it up with action. Only when your words and actions are consistent will you ever attain any goal. I hear so many people say they are going to do something only to cancel or give some excuse as to why it never happens. Who wants to be predictable in that way? You are better than that. Hold yourself to a higher standard before you don’t believe a word that comes out of your own mouth. You are better than the excuses you tell and the people in your life deserve better than that too. Prove to yourself and eventually others that your words are filled with more than nonsense. I’m judging you hard on this and I am holding myself accountable as well. If you make a commitment, follow it through even when you don’t feel like it or this will become the latest bad habit that’s holding you back.

When Did Bullying Become a Movement?

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Bullying can be summed up as using superior strength or influence to intimidate someone usually to force someone to do what he or she wants.

I see it everywhere. It frightens me that this is the go to method to get things done these days. Just turn on the tv.

I am so confused today. Are we supposed to stand up to bullying or give into it? Does it depend on who is doing the bullying and if we support their cause? When did bullying become acceptable depending on who’s the victim and who’s the perpetrator. My God what is happening before our eyes and why have so many people become blind to it? There cannot be special rules for special people. Behavior is either acceptable or it is not period. We cannot allow it to be conditional. There are ways that work better than this. We have to be bigger, more disciplined and more willing to work together with other individuals in a way that is amicable and healthy. Screaming demands and threatening cannot be the path we take. We cannot support it or celebrate it. This is the force behind the crumbling that will lead to total destruction of order and civil communication. I will not support it under any circumstance and regardless of whether I support the cause of the group doing it. We have to make a stand in values like we do for tomorrow’s latest cause. Everyone wants to jump on the bus but who the hell is driving? And we wonder why kids are so confused and eating tide pods and snorting condoms these days? All they see are exceptions to what we teach them and mixed messages at an alarming rate. Being a parent and navigating my kids through all this nonsense is the hardest and most important job I will ever have. Double standards cannot exist ever. Not in my house.

Today Is Amazing Too

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I wrote a post a while ago titled Today Will Be Amazing. Sometimes, even when we have the best intentions, our negative attitude sneaks up and bites us pretty hard on the backside. I’ve had a rough few days but when some sweet blogger reblogged my post a few minutes ago, I was reminded with my own silly words that I do have a choice. I have the power to say this is an amazing day even when it is far from perfect. I have the choice to focus on the little things that make my life beautiful…today beautiful. When we need inspiration we must seek out that which inspires us and steer clear from that cloud of negativity that can only settle over our head if we refuse to move our feet. Today I moved my feet outside as I bask in the wonderful warmth of the sun. So many blessings to breathe in and so many negative feelings to exhale out. Breathe in the good stuff and let the rest go. Yes we do have a choice. I just needed a little reminder.

You Can Do This

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The weather in Oklahoma has taught me an important lesson. April and May come with windy conditions. I’m not talking about an enjoyable breeze, I’m referring to the sound that wakes you from a restful sleep in pure panic as you wonder if everything you own has blown away. Life can be that way too. We have periods where we want to hide underneath the covers and avoid our responsibilities and the rest of the world. When the conditions get destructive in our own lives, it’s natural to feel the call to hunker down. Eventually we work through it and recognize that the chaos outside cannot shake the calm core we’ve worked so hard to build on the inside.

Remind yourself that even when everything gets stormy, even when it feels like your own life is falling apart, you have what you need to keep on going. You are strong and resilient and unshakable. Take it one day at a time, one small step at a time. This too shall pass and once again you will bask in the peaceful warmth of the sun. Until then, let the wind be at your back and keep moving forward.

Wake Up Call

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Sad but unfortunately very true…

“If you don’t agree with us we will gang up and ruin you” seems to be trending right now.

This should be a wake up call. Are you part of this or against it? There are some bandwagons we shouldn’t jump on. This one is vindictive, destructive and divisive. It sickens me to think this is so popular right now and that people are volunteering to be the force behind such a dangerous movement. Remember this, you get back what you give. Be very careful and selective when it comes to the energy you’re giving out. Give what you want to receive. It’s that simple.

Inspiration To Start Your Day

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Today is another chance to get it right. Seek out what is good. Look for the positive. Embrace it, celebrate it and move on from the rest. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Negativity is a trap but if you are smart enough there are ways to avoid it.

Remember you are not part of the crowd. There is only one unique, beautiful you. Let your individualism shine. Be amazing and slow down long enough to enjoy today.

The Truth No One Wants To Hear

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Many of you don’t know how my struggle with the school system ruined a handful of years of my life. I remember the days when I would sit at meetings with teachers and administrators demanding they follow through on my sons accommodations so he had the chance to be successful at school. It’s all about the children, that’s what they say until something becomes inconvenient and then it’s a list of reasons why they cannot follow the accommodations your child so desperately needs. I was called a bully for fighting for my child and the top of the top threatened to cancel my sons 504 meetings. Imagine if I marched into the school lobby, the principals office or stood outside a classroom window holding a sign with my closest friends screaming “DO YOUR JOB!” What do you think the reaction would be then? Would teachers rally behind me for a common cause because you know, it IS about the children?

Don’t get me wrong. I have made peace with my own hell. It almost destroyed me but I realized that if the end goal was truly getting the help Chase needed, I had to take a different approach. I stopped demanding and started reaching out. How can we give Chase what he needs together? What is something that would work for all of us? Slowly and surely the teachers attitudes began to change. Today I am happy to report that this has been an amazing year because finally after fighting a hard battle, I finally got the type of teachers that Chase needed. They go above and beyond, not just for him but for all their students. I am so grateful for them. It was the state of Oklahoma and the teachers here that taught me a hard lesson. Making demands turns a deaf ear and makes people resist what you demand from them even more. This isn’t the way. I support their cause but I do not support their path to get there. There are two sides to every story and unfortunately the media chooses a side and that is the only story you will ever hear. This is the first time in years that the officials we elected did something positive for teachers. Is it really a surprise that they are resentful and angry that they are on the receiving end of demands and chants? Teachers lining the Capitol and chanting “Do Your Job” and “We Won’t Leave”. You bet they’re pissed because they worked long and hard to make this much progress. This situation is lose-lose for everyone. Maybe it’s time to rethink this plan and try again. Just a different perspective from the one you are hearing. Just my opinion but attacking the people who could give you what you want and humiliating them with words on signs is probably not going to work but then again, what do I know?