A big challenge I face is tuning out negativity. Some people wear it on their face, speak it in their words and fling it everyplace they go. It hits me hard. Sometimes I swear it even makes my insides shake. Today I ask myself, if I cannot silence the poison that comes out of other people, how can I at least protect myself from it? What can I do to stop allowing it to penetrate my boundaries and chip away at a core I have worked hard for years to keep me balanced and focused? Why is the voice I need to hear the least always the loudest and how can I tune it out? Have you noticed it’s so much easier for negativity to spread than it is to start a wave of joy and positivity? We cannot remove ourselves from every negative force so how do we at least quiet it down?
anewperspectiveperhaps 
PMA: Positive Mental Attitude. Works for me every time.
If people can only voice negativity, they have the problem, not you. Turn it round and see them for what they are, people envious of others who they hope that by their negativity will make them feel better about themselves.
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That doesn’t sound very positive, if we are to point fingers and say, “You’re just jealous.”
Not to raise my nose above yours, but, I’d prefer to think we should remind ourselves that just because another person’s hands are dirty with negativity, we need not dirty our own hands the same way. So, if you hear, see, smell or detect in some other way an unpleasant energy, if you are consciously bothered by something of the sort, remind yourself to close all of your windows and, if necessary, wash yourself of the “negative pollen.” You may still get dirty, but you can just as well cleanse yourself, later.
So, be sure to either guard yourself against the negativity by saying to yourself, “I don’t like this and don’t have to let it get to me.” Or, endure the negativity but remind yourself to go where you can wash it all away, later, like reminding yourself to take bath/shower after a dirty day of work.
‘Best I can think of at the moment.
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Interesting.
The latter part of your comment is better suited to my PMA from my perspective. If someone is negative towards me, it has usually been because something is lacking on their side. Not something I have that they want, but because they are feeling the way they do, they want others to feel that way too, and the only way they can achieve that, is by being negative.
I’ve had enough negativity in my life which led to a downward spiral. In order not to let it get to me, yes I will turn it round, but don’t respond with accusations or negativity….. or at least I like to think so!
Sadly when we are feeling low for some reason, an ill chosen comment can reflect harder and heavier than it would normally.
Family politics are hurtful but I refuse to rise to the bait of negativity now.
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Another thing to consider; sometimes it’s better for us to put out the negative fire than let it build and impact others. But, there’s a line between being a snobbish policeman and being a do-nothing.
Maybe, if the other person wants you to feel the same way, and you acknowledge this, they may lose interest in being their present way. It’s sort of like ignoring the bully so they don’t get a reaction out of you. If you could say, “I know you are feeling like ___, but I have no interest in sharing that feeling, right now.” I’m sure that won’t go over well. But, it might just put out the negative flames, even if the initial response is lackluster or harsh.
Defuse the bomb.
And, I’ve been swimming in negativity most of my life. Not as loud or extreme as some cases, but subversive enough that it comes out of me when that’s not what I want to happen but all I know to do. [And, I think that happens with people from troubled families, too.]
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Maybe…sometimes the bomb is impossible to diffuse. The more you try the more dangerous it gets.
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Nothing is impossible. It’s just too hard to presently conceive. The mind is full of potential. We just have to unlock it.’
If you cannot defuse the bomb, be prepared to survive it.
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I’m in survival mode now 😉
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That sounds like a good plan. Sometimes I need to walk away or put in some earphones to get an auditory break 😉
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Just try to use the earphones politely/strategically so you don’t look like someone turning to their “dumbphone” peculiarly–like a kid with his portable video game–just to tune out what’s in your face. Excuse yourself and then, when you’ve put some space between you and the source, don the headset. Or, if you know the person you’re approaching is a consistent problem, you might don the headset in advance and skirt around/past them, if that helps.
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Right yes!
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Yeah I get why I just don’t know how not to let them get to me. I have the best of intentions but 30 negative comments later and my PMA is gone 😦
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Hopefully you’ve got some ideas come up in the comments to help. Everyone is different, and what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. It’s like criticism……. if it’s constructive we can usually deal with it, but if it’s just plain nasty and demeaning, we’re soon defeated. It’s a minefield as there are pros and cons to everything. Do you just turn the other cheek? Walk away? Retaliate verbally (does it make you feel better?) I hate conflict and avoid it in case I say something I’ll regret which can never be retracted. Good luck (if the comments are from one person and written, can you just delete them?)
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I don’t like conflict either. I just want peace without tension. I did get some suggestions. Sometimes there’s something someone else mentions that I don’t even consider. That’s why I love discussions like this.
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🙂
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It might also help/work to try telling the negative source you don’t like their negativity and will not accept it into your heart. Though, in some cases, that might sound strange if you verbalize those thoughts. But, think of it like those self-defense classes in which they tell women to shout at the purse-snatcher before kneeing them in the groin. 😛 That’s my purse! I don’t know you! Boom.
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Yeah that wouldn’t work in this case it would just make it worse because after all some people are about me,me,me and just don’t respect others needs and wants. I think I’m many cases though, people would make an honest effort to tone it down. There’s just always that one😳
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Not respecting others needs is either a sign of someone spoiled…or someone who’s had their needs slighted too long, too. Sometimes, they don’t take care of themselves, giving everything to others, and then turn bitter when they finally feel starved of what they needed.
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Yeah in the case I describe it is spoiled for sure
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It takes a lot of my mental energy to break away. However, it can helps to see another perspective.
WritingBolt I disagree with you on your observations. There are another side of the story. Someone who cares for others too much and neglect themselves, such people are drained of their energies and physical, mental and financially. Thus they have to learn to take care of themselves. Because nobody really care for them.
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It helps to reply to a reply/comment by clicking on Reply (otherwise you can disagree and I won’t have a clue because I don’t follow these blog posts as they collect comments).
And, I am not sure you disagree, just present a case or perspective I didn’t include.
I may be one of those people who is drained and, in some ways, uncared for while I figure out how to care for myself little by little. And, it might run in the family.
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Some people who are drained need to recharge. Recharge can give different meanings in different instances.
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That is very true
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For some people, having a good sleep recharges their energy.
I go through doing many tasks and lack of sleep due to completing tasks.
Thus I need to reserve my energy.
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It’s about conditioning your mind , it takes time but once achieved it gives you a lot of inner peace. The only person we can change in the world is ourself. Don’t give the remote control of ur feeling in someone else’s hands. No one has that power over you …don’t give them that power
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Do not acknowledge it in your conversations and dealings with others. Through your own self control you pass a message of your inner peace. You cannot converse positively with a negative person until and unless they at least calm down to a reasonable state. Then a true conversation can be held. Just my perspective.
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Great advice!
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