A Loss For Words

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If you think 244 miles isn’t a long distance, ask the heart of a mother who just left her daughter behind to start her sophomore year of college. Every mile we drive, the separation becomes more palpable. I’m absolutely certain now that no matter how old my kids are or regardless of whatever dream or path they are following, I will always ache to have them near me. A mother bird feels much better when her babies are cozy in the nest. Sure she knows that one day they will fly on their own and she will celebrate that moment but there’s no denying the comfort she feels when she is physically watching over and protecting them as she guards the nest. This too shall pass just like it did last year but for now I will allow myself to mourn as I try and get comfortable in this place of feeling such loss. I know now that a child can never really know a mothers love until he or she becomes a parent. It’s not something you can explain or describe and the connection is unbreakable no matter how many miles keep you apart. My heart feels as empty as my gas tank as I get closer to home. Although my heart is sad, the joy and excitement in my daughters eyes will serve as a reminder of this amazing journey she is on. I want her to enjoy every moment and to know that each second that goes by, she is loved more than she could ever know.

8 thoughts on “A Loss For Words

  1. I don’t have children of my own so I can only imagine what it must feel like, but I can tell from every line of your blog post that it must be painful as hell. Then again, there is also so much reason to be proud of yourself because, after all, you made your daughter the independent young woman she is today!

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  2. I can only imagine that feeling. When I left home it never dawned on me what my mom was going through. I was focused on becoming my own person and it was exciting. For my mom it was anything but.

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    • I’m sure it was the same when I left home. I do call my mom everyday if not 5x a day. As a mother myself, I realize she never had an option to take a day off from being a mom regardless of what craziness was going on I’m her own life. A phone call takes a few minutes. It’s the least I can do living so far away. It’s just one small way I let her know how important she is to me and that she is always in my Herat and thoughts.

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  3. War_Machine_20

    Hello, I just read this, and I’m going to let you know, I totally feel your pain. Now 244 miles is around 4 hours or so. My 3 live with their grandparents almost 8 hours away! I do know what it’s like to not have them. If she’s open to the idea, visit her more. Soon, she’ll be grown and gone. Right now, she’s growing and going. Take care.

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