We Learn as We Go

My son is 17 today. It took me years to understand I had it all wrong. I thought my job was to shape and grow him. I spent years fighting for who I thought he should be and I missed who he was becoming. We have this idea of how our kids should be as adults and the truth is they grow us more than we could ever grow them. Sometimes I look back and wonder why we had to face a particular growing pain but today I know it’s the hardest situations we face that change and develop us the most. There is always something new to learn. I think the mistake we make as parents is thinking our job is only to teach and we miss out on the most important learning of our lives. Life does not always go the way we plan. People don’t always turn out the way we imagine but do we ever stop and ask ourself, am I who others need me to be? Do I encourage, support, accept, love or do I judge, demean, destroy and discourage? I don’t think we know how important our words and actions are until our kids get older and sometimes by then the patterns we have fallen victim to become harder and harder to change. I am here to remind you that pride should never win. Humble yourself and admit where you have gone wrong and be open to changing so that you can get on a path that feels more right. It’s important to remember we are human and the same goes for our kids as well. All we can do is our best and parenting does not come with a book of instructions. Love your kids exactly how they are in this moment. That is the greatest gift you could ever give. Today I mourn the little boy I remember but I also look forward to the man he is becoming. If only time could slow down…