The storm is fierce. It is always there thrashing me to and fro and robbing me of inner peace. There have always been storms in life but this season will not go away. I have become one with it and I cannot draw a concrete line between myself and it. Where does it start and where do I begin? How do you cope when you are forced into a situation you cannot escape? How can you remove yourself from chaos that is all around you? How can you walk away from the people who look the other way as they take your breath away and pretend they don’t see you are unable to breathe? I desperately want this season to end but just when I think the sun will break through, the thunder wakes me out of bed. It’s become the norm, this unsettling anticipation that the black clouds are coming to swallow me up. I know this too shall pass but when? I don’t have much of me left and fighting to keep my head above water is exhausting. I’m tired. My body is weak and my mind is erratic. No one can live in constant survival mode. There is no life between fight or flight just that gnawing anguish that never really lets you experience a moment of peace. When will it end?