There are two types of people in this world. Those who come to the table half in and those who come to the table all in. Don’t waste your time on people who will not give you all they have. You do not deserve half of someone’s love, half of someone’s time and half of someone’s attention. Life is too short to feel like you are not enough. Surround yourself with people who build you up and respect you with the same kind of committed heart. Their lack of time is never a reflection of your worth, but rather an indicator of how much they value your relationship. Choose people carefully and don’t be afraid to reduce the size of your circle. Quality over quantity.
How did I not see it? I was retreating further and further into my safe space. The further I could escape from people, the better I felt. It didn’t take long before I was completely isolated and sinking into the depths of depression. I stopped trusting others and I put up a wall of defense so strong that no one would ever be able to hurt me again. I thought all people were alike. I had been tired of being tossed aside like a discarded piece of trash because I didn’t measure up to somebody’s standards. My mantra became, no one will ever have the power to hurt me again.
For as long as I can remember I have been brutally honest and transparent. Somehow that was the very thing that backfired on me time and time again. Instead of support, people would mock me and look down on me. I was done. For years I prayed that God would lead me to a tribe of woman. I needed a safe place to land and people I could trust but where were they? On September 29th, 2018 God answered my prayer. As I stumbled into a fundraiser in Edmond Oklahoma, I witnessed a group of women who were the real deal. Even my daughter said, mom I think this may be the tribe you’ve been looking for. Beautiful Restoration is their name and their love, support and kindness have pulled me out of the depths of despair.
I am here to remind you that God still answers prayers. There are amazing friends out there waiting to meet you and isolation is never the answer. Step out in faith and trust that there is a plan for your life. My life looks so different now than it did 10 months ago. I have hope, confidence and a real excitement about what is still ahead of me. Never give up. Your dream for a better life could be a day away. It’s coming. Wait for it excitedly.
So not long ago, I found myself in the office of a school administrator lecturing my son about character and integrity. I guess it’s easy when you sit in the seat of the accuser looking down on the accused. Life has a funny way of disrupting things so that occasionally the accuser ends up in the hot seat of being accused. How in the world can our kids not be confused and screwed up when the very people who are supposed to be role models and leaders end up being total hypocrites. I’m not judging, really I’m not but it wasn’t easy sitting quietly and listening to my son being judged. Time has a way of fixing wrongs but our words never go away. We must choose them wisely and be very careful if we are to cast the first stone that we walk the walk and never find ourselves behaving in a way we once demeaned someone else for. Encourage. Practice what you preach and always make sure your actions are consistent with your words. That is what makes you relevant.