Savoring These Moments

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These last few weeks have been bitter sweet. I’m trying desperately to come to terms with the fact that my first born will be leaving for college one week from today. Cleaning the house and running senseless errands has taken a backseat to spending time with her. She probably has no idea I shed a tear or two each night before I fall sleep. Life is about to change forever in this house and I am savoring every last second before it does. Love the people in your life. Appreciate every moment because time brings change whether we want it to or not. Pay attention to today because in the blink of an eye, it will be years away. 

I’m Right! No, I’m Right!

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In a time where so many of us see the world differently, how can you be sure your version is right? Why are you so positive that you are the one thinking logically and others are not thinking clearly? Have you even ever asked yourself this question? We only know what we are open to hearing information about but are most of us truly open to hearing information that contradicts our personal opinion? I watch people swear with absolute assertion that something is matter of fact even when half the population sees the same situation in an opposite manner. Could it be that half of us are right and the other half are just plain crazy? We really need to start thinking about this. Or could it be that we only focus on the so called people and facts that feed our narrative so we never see the complete picture at all? Something to think about. 

Help Me Shine

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I think I’ve decided you can’t fix stupid. You can’t reason with it, change it or even influence it. Much of what is going on in our simple little world is just plain stupid. We say whatever feels like rolling off our tongue, we insult and demean with no consideration of who is on the receiving end. We spew our opinions as if they hold more value than anyone else’s. It’s disheartening to watch. I feel I have so little power as I sadly watch humanity, respect and civility self destruct. My prayer is simple. Raise me up above the petty nonsense that destroys relationships and even lives. Raise me up above the need to be right or louder or better or smarter. Humble me to know my place in this world is not less or more important than anyone else’s.  Help me hang on a little bit longer and share whatever I have left to give. Help me shine and be a beacon of light in a world where the light is sometimes fading and growing dim. Help me be a better person each and everyday. That is my purpose. That is my journey. 

Could It Be That Simple?

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After some really hard work, my inner voice has taken on a brand new tone. As I sat back in my pool float today, I actually heard these words inside my own head. “Relax kid. Enjoy your life”.  So that is my mantra for the week. We spend years pondering our purpose in life. Perhaps it is more simple than we ever imagined. Love hard, speak easy, be kind and enjoy the precious life you’ve been given. Have a blessed day.

Be You

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Today I am reminded to just be myself. There are times when no matter what I do, I will just never please everyone all the time. I used to carry such guilt based on others reactions to choices I made in my life. Today I am happy to report I am free. I am free from judgement, guilt, blame and the constant desire to be perfect by someone else’s standards of who I should be. One of my favorite quotes of all time…

                            Be You.

                   The world will adjust.

Be The Peace

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Some days there is a brutal battle between my mind and body. One part of me wants to sit in peace while the other part incessantly reminds me why sitting is not an option. The mind is a powerful thing. Learn to tame it or it will take control over you. Repeat after me…peace is good. Thoughts are generally a waste of time. Take that walk. Enjoy the outdoors. Practice inner peace. It’s okay not to have a plan or agenda. It is healthy to take time to rejuvenate your soul. My intention today is to allow peace to fill me up and I extend that intention to you as well. Be at peace. Be the peace the world desperately needs right now. 

One Day at a Time

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I have a feeling that last night was a hint of what is coming. I haven’t had a sleepless night in quite a while but last night seemed to go on forever. This is the second night in a row where I was awakened by nightmares that sent me into complete panic.

On Monday, we drove four hours to take my daughter to college orientation. I guess that’s where the reality of her leaving really took hold. I walked around this intimidating campus choking back pain as I realized this would be her new home. No more checking her bedroom at night to make sure she was safe and sound. No more rides to Dairy Queen or meeting her for lunch in the middle of the day. The world as I knew it was about to come crashing down around me and like it or not, I was not given a choice or time to adjust. 

My heart is heavy. I am grieving for the little girl I am desperately trying to let go of. I don’t always recognize this new face or the body that is the same size as mine. Wasnt it just yesterday that I was singing Barney songs and taking her to the park in that beat up red wagon? In my dreams, my fear is in control so I make the decision to stay awake. I wrestle with so many thoughts I cannot control. How will I stand to live in this house that will feel so empty? What will life be like without her in it everyday? My eyes are tired and the answers escape me. I need sleep but it still won’t come. One day at a time I remind myself as I crawl out of bed drained and weary. One day at a time is all I can handle. I may not be able to take on months at a time but 24 hours is something I know I can tackle. 

Appreciate your life as it is today. We live in a constant state of change and we have to embrace what is right there in front of us each and everyday.