Can You Handle The Truth? 

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I gave some more thought to all these latest episodes of senseless violence. I listen to debate over debate about whether stricter gun laws or taking guns away altogether is a logical answer. I think there are many factors coming into play that most people don’t even consider. Despite how people might respond, I feel the need to offer my two cents. By all means, my words are not right or wrong, they are only my personal opinion. Do I think guns are a problem? You bet I do but guns cannot kill without someone pulling the trigger. We cannot deny that people are the biggest problem. I believe you could take away every single gun but as long as there is still a lack of respect among people, this world will remain unchanged. It physically pains me that someone’s beliefs or opinions hold more value than another human life. How can people kill others just because they think a different way or live a different way? I will tell you how. People have become consumed with themselves. They are selfish and entitled to do whatever they want, even if that means taking another life. The worst part of all is there is no remorse. We have desensitized people to the value of life and the significance of how each and every person contributes in his or her way. We are made to be different and choose a lifestyle that comfortably fits. We all matter but we live in a world of contradictions. The line between black and white has faded away and we are lost in a sea of gray. I can’t ignore the All Lives Matter theme that has been so popular over the past year. What does that mean exactly? I’ve heard it altered many ways. Black lives matter, white lives matter, cops lives matter. As long as we feel the need to insert an adjective before lives, we are in serious trouble. We separate ourselves into groups and we exclude groups that make us uncomfortable or who don’t fit into our little niche. So what  do we mean when we say “All lives matter?”All lives who agree with our own way of living matter? Are there exceptions or is the meaning so precise that there is no room for misunderstanding? Why am I bringing this up? Do I think the two problems are connected. Yes, I really do. Our words imply one thing and our actions imply another. I believe there is an ongoing lack of respect among people and for human life itself. If all lives mattered, there would be no abortion but we think a woman has the right to decide which lives do. Look at the death penalty. When someone kills another human being, in some states the way we deal with that issue is by killing them. How in the hell does that even make sense? I am going to punish you for killing someone and how am I going to do that? By killing you. So killing is wrong when you do it but when I sentence you to death and you are killed, then it’s okay. So which lives matter? The lives of people who do not commit heinous crimes? The lives of the tiny babies who we decide we want to keep around? The truth is lives matter when we say they do. This disrespect, disregard and dismissal of the value for each and every life because of the way we define it makes every life seem a little less significant. This lack of appreciation for the significance of each and every life along with mean, violent, crazy people who lack moral value and self control with the addition of guns is slowly destroying humanity one day at a time. If we believe we can determine which lives matter then we can continue to pick and choose whether it’s by abortion, guns, the death penalty or any other way we see fit to take that life away. This is so much more than what we see superficially. Guns don’t make people crazy, but having no regard for another’s life gives us the idea that we can take it or save it whenever and however we see fit. Don’t agree that the majority do not respect people with different views? Watch our politicians, turn on tv, pull up Facebook and look through some of the comments. Is this what respect looks like these days? Someone flips you the bird because you piss them off for driving the speed limit. Is that respect? Go to any Starbucks counter and watch how people treat the workers. “I need a cup of coffee.” You NEED one? People feel better or inferior to others. The inferior ones get swallowed up and the better ones? They are nasty, pushy bullies. Not everyone will agree and that’s okay but it is something worth considering. Is one directly linked to the other? Who really knows but I believe everything is connected excluding the people. That is the part that is truly devastating. Feeling connected is determined by too many things, the wrong things. Feeling connected is conditional and some people will sell their souls. The color of skin, the same religion, the same economical or educational level. Is that what we’ve come? We are becoming more superficial and pompous every single day. It is a travesty and I do my best to add kindness and compassion and love to a world that desperately needs it. Will that be enough? Will taking away guns be enough? How about stopping abortion and outlawing the death penalty? What will it take? Better yet, what are you willing to do?

All This Talk About Abortion

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How can we ever come to a solution for such a sensitive topic? If you are super sensitive to the abortion issue, you may want to stop reading right here. Otherwise, I will use this post to explain what kept me up almost all night long. 

To be honest, I haven’t really been following the whole Planned a Parenthood scandel. If they are doing something against the law, they should be punished. If they are doing something that is generally accepted but hidden from the people who are sensitive, then that is a different story. 

Let me make something clear, I struggle with the concept of what to do with a body that is already dead. Do we sacrifice it for research? Do we walk away and just leave it behind? What if we were  handed over the fetal remains in a small wooden box that allowed us some closure and the opportunity to bury the remains? What if it wasn’t common practice to leave that tiny body behind and forget the whole situation the minute we walk out that door? My concern is whether or not we are really given the truth when it comes to what actually happens during an abortion.

I believe that our lack of knowledge and new trend of escaping responsibility is a real problem in our country. Instead of admitting mistakes and facing consequences, we are given a quiet way out to escape embarrassment . Who wouldn’t want to choose that option? Haven’t we all at one time or another? Just look at our own government. There is plenty of smoke but we can never actually find the flames or the fire because someone is working hard to keep it hidden.

Do I believe men should have a say when it comes to abortion? Many would argue it is the woman’s body and only she should have say on what to do with it. I believed that for many years. What about the fetal body? Last time I checked, a woman couldn’t make a baby alone so why would a potential father of an unborn child have no say when it comes to his potential child? I am conflicted, torn. I don’t think any law or court could ever leave me feeling satisfied to accept any resolution. What’s even harder is knowing a woman can’t escape because the baby is in her body. She has to deal with the condescending looks from others, the emotional turmoil that is a direct result from the ever changing hormones, the discomfort from caring a baby in her own body for so many months not to mention a long, painful delivery. So what exactly does the man have to go through anyway? I guess that is nobody’s fault and we have to accept that’s the way it is but still that baby is a part of two people. That we cannot dispute. 

Let’s not forget that there are other issues that many don’t think about. Women are not insensitive robots. They make mistakes. Young girls find themselves in situations they never dreamed. They are still in school, have no job and find themselves pregnant with a child they are not ready for. They are ashamed and scared and panicked and want to distance themselves from the problem and move on. That is just one common situation. We, as women need to be responsible when it comes to our bodies. There is no arguing that sex leads to pregnancy so why are we not protecting ourselves from being in this devastating situation? Hiding a pregnancy and aborting a baby does not make it go away. Women feel a tremendous sense of shame and guilt long after the day they walk out of an abortion clinic. I can honestly say, we as women deserve to know all the facts. We need to know the truth. Who is really to say when a fetus is a human being or feels pain? Who are we to even try? Unfortunately, before I went to bed, I watched the video A Silent Scream. It was an abortion captured on ultrasound. What I saw will give me nightmares for years. I feel sick today, deflated. I will not post the link here because it is difficult to watch. Really, really difficult. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I were considering whether or not to have an abortion, I would want to see this video. I don’t want the procedure lessened to clear my conscience because as I grow older and learn the truth, how in the world could I live with myself? Instead, we take this you don’t ask and we won’t tell attitude and we will fall back on a play of words that allows us to dehumanize life itself. Do I have the prerogative to decide what is right for a woman, a fetus? I really don’t know. I struggle with that every time the topic is brought up. Do I have a problem with not being told the truth? You bet I do. 

I don’t believe anyone knows for sure if the fetus suffers or feels any pain during an abortion procedure. I don’t believe we have the right to decide who lives and who dies, on the part of the mother or the child. Should one life be valued over another? How could we possibly answer that. I imagine my two kids in a situation where only 1 could live. Could I live with myself if I was forced to choose? I could never serve on a death penalty case because I don’t want the opportunity to contribute to the decision of taking anyone’s life.

I’m not sure we will ever agree or be able to ever understand the real implications of abortion. Maybe we don’t want to. Who would actually want to believe that we are making a conscience choice to rip away body parts of an innocent fetus one tiny part at a time? The crushing of the head part makes me physically ill. I bet they don’t tell women that when they are in shock from an unwanted pregnancy and want a quick escape. How could one not feel that way, scared and alone and fearful of our own future as well as this child we never planned on. At least not now.

I guess what I am saying is I would want all the information before I made this significant a choice. People sugar coat everything to make it more appealing, to help us live with the choices we make. Woman deserve better. They need to know that this quick procedure will not haunt them the rest of their lives. They need to know grief and guilt will not consume them when they are ready to have a child because they cannot get over the one they lost. Who do we save? Whose life matters most? I think it’s a question we need to ask ourselves before we ever make a decision about our own lives as well as the life of the unborn child. We make a mistake so we eliminate it. That is what scared women believe. But, if they had all the facts, if they knew the details no one seems to talk about, would they still make the same decision? I can’t answer that. We all have to live with the decisions we make but how can we make them honestly if we don’t look at every detail?

Let me just end by saying this. There is no way to know what we would do if we were faced with a difficult situation. It’s one thing to make a guess and it’s another to really be standing in shoes that forces us to make the most important decision of our life at the time and to make it quickly nonetheless. Who am I to judge anyone for the decisions they make? It’s just not my place. Whose place is it then to decide? How could we ever make the right choice with a minimum of three potential people involved? Is one more responsible than the other? Should one be valued over the other? Who really knows for sure. I guess it mostly depends on which one of the three you are. 

I Saw The Sign

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Tonight, on the way to pick up my daughter, I passed a few people holding signs. Pray To End Abortion. I couldn’t help but wonder how that would change even a single mind about the issue who has already mentally and spiritually decided. It’s just a silly hunch, but I have a feeling all the prayers in the world would not stop abortion. We can’t make things stop or will them to stop. We are all so very different and to stop anything at all, we would all have to be the same or at least be on the same page. What are the odds of that happening?

I thought about how many signs I could hold urging people to change what I feel needs to be changed. My signs would say something like this: Pray To End Hatred, Pray to Stop Injustice, Pray To End Murder and Violence and Terrorism and Harm. I could probably line enough signs up to make it halfway around the globe. Would they change anything? Probably not. There are a brave few who think they will though and I admire their attempt. I give anyone credit for fighting the fight. The truth though is we cannot change people. We cannot change who they are and who they’ve become and the long, rugged road that led them there in the first place. There are too many of us to want the same things and have the same ideals. It just doesn’t seem possible to get everyone to agree. Many will try but most of us know the truth. We are coming into a time where we are being forced to accept one another’s differences like it or not. We can’t go on feuding and fighting and attacking one another because of our different views. We cannot inflict our will or our idea of right onto anyone else.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what I feel so passionately about to give up my time and hold a sign up in plain sight in the busiest of intersections. I decided my sign would read a bit different than the ones I saw today. Here is an example; Be Kind, Love One Another and Please Try NotTo Judge. We are all imperfect in the most beautiful way. What would your sign say?

This Made Me Cry

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I have got to say how surprised I am that when I mention Kermit Gosnells name, nobody knows who he is. I watched the special last night on Fox that reported on this gut wrenching story. This man is accused of so many things but the fact that he had the bodies of babies in his freezer with a slit in the back of their neck where their spinal cord had been cut left me shaking my head staring at the tv in disbelief with tears running down my face. His refrigerator held the feet of babies in small containers. I really thought I was going to be sick. I am sad and disappointed that the news is not covering this story. Half of America is following Jodi Arias. She killed one person. This man has over 200 various charges against him and the fact that he may have slit these innocent babies spinal cords while they were born alive should be newsworthy. Even, if only to make woman more aware and cautious of some of these clinics that are unsafe so they can do their own research and protect themselves.

I don’t know, it seems to me the media is really doing us an injustice by picking and choosing what they decide to cover. I believe that this case is so horrific that regardless whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, we can all come together to agree we need laws, and regulations that are carried out and followed up on so that woman do not lose their lives and babies are not aborted after a safe period of time. In the case of some of these babies who were born alive and then murdered in this gruesome and nauseating manner, maybe people need to find some common ground and find a way to come together to assure the regulations we already have are being followed. Government keeps pushing for new legislation, but in the case of immigration, abortion, student visas, and regulation of guns, should we not get the laws we already have in place ironed out first before we start trying to add more to a system which is already not working. It’s definitely something to think about. If you haven’t heard about the Gosnells trial you may want to consider researching it. Even after hearing testimony, and seeing pictures of these lifeless babies, it is still so hard to believe. Pretending something isn’t happening or looking the other way does not change the truth.

Mixed and Confusing Messages

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I have been so deeply moved and saddened by the changes that are occurring in our country and around the world. As a mother of a 14 year old daughter and having a niece that just turned 15, I cannot stop shaking my head over the opportunity afforded to these confused children to walk into a pharmacy and buy this Plan B One Step pill. I am the parent. Why should the government or anyone else be allowed to decide if my child can take or buy this type of pill? You can’t even go in and buy cough medicine too often, but yet a minor can walk in and buy this pill over and over again. This definitely skips the whole opportunity of the child coming to the parent and being honest and accountable and having some healthy life learning dialogue. I just can’t wrap my head around this one. Years ago, if someone got pregnant, they would walk into a facility and have this procedure(abortion) laying on a table wide awake. They would have to face the consequences and live through it and possibly learn to not make a mistake like that again. There would be the opportunity to reflect on the whole experience and face the consequences of having to look these doctors in the face and walk in and out of these clinics. Do I think we should punish and torture someone who faces unwanted pregnancy? No, I have a big heart. But I do believe we all need to face situations honestly and clearly and hopefully learn from them. Today we pop a pill. It’s a no brainier….no big deal. These young kids can go out, have unprotected sex with no fear of parents finding out or getting pregnant. At least condoms prevent std’s. Maybe fear isn’t such a bad thing. Fear prevents me from doing things so I can bet it prevents others from doing things as well. God Bless our poor kids today! They watch the media and the President stand in front of the world and refer to morals and values as outdated and old fashioned. Hear this: my beliefs, my standards, my morals and my values do not come with a time stamp or an expiration date. In fact, I believe when someone’s beliefs run deep enough they do not change like the direction of the wind. They don’t change to go along to get along. They don’t change for political affiliation or pressure from a liberal society. Real values, real morals, real beliefs that someone truly believes in are set in stone. It defines a person and their character. They are the foundation that supports the persons path of life. I just can’t stop shaking my head.

I turned on the news tonight and there was an argument between 2 woman about when we call a baby a baby. The argument was if a baby is born in a botched abortion at 23 and a half weeks what do we call it. If a tiny body is breathing and alive out of the womb is it not a baby? I am mixed on early abortion but am very clear how I feel if the baby accidentally survives. You either respect life or you don’t. You can’t have it different ways. There is a cartoon poking fun at Obama. The first picture shows him rallying for a gun ban as he says “If there’s anything we can do to save the life of a child we must do it”, then he’s in front of Planned Parenthood saying ” never mind”. I guess to see the hypocrisy in this comparison shed a great deal of light and perspective. This will probably tick some people off and I’m okay with that. At the end of the day, I stand alone looking at my own reflection in the mirror. We are all different and we all have different thoughts, and feelings. They define us, each one and someday we may have to answer for the decisions we make. I will however make sure that my voice is heard just as loudly and as often as the other voices that inspire my children. In the end, they will decide for themselves. At the very least I will present information to invoke their thought. No one will drown out my voice and the upbringing and love and values I introduce to them. Someday they will decide for themselves, but just for today, I will guide them along.