I made a serious commitment with myself today to mind my own damn business. What does that mean exactly? Well, I am choosing to have little concern when it comes to the flaws of others. I am choosing not to look for them, not to talk about them, and certainly not to focus on them. I am giving myself the gift of becoming disengaged from the opinions others have of me. Can you imagine the freedom that comes with that one tiny new decision? I’ve learned this year that I can be myself. I am who I am and I am not afraid to show both my strengths and weaknesses to the rest of the world. I’ve learned that someone’s idea of who I am is more of a reaction they have to me than it is about me at all. We bring stuff out in others. Who knows why? Maybe we see something in them that we don’t like about ourselves but we cannot see it in our own reflection and project our dislike onto someone else. Maybe someone doesn’t like the way we look or the way we speak. Maybe someone doesn’t know us at all but believes their opinions of us are really the truth. There is no possible way I will ever get everyone to like me. You know what I decided? That’s okay and better yet, I will no longer waste precious time trying to explain who I am or trying to convince someone to like me more. I am me without apology so I am forever released from the anguish of the opinions of others. When you know who you are and like who you’ve become, you can live life with the freedom to never look back over your shoulder wondering what people think. Opinions are never going away. People will always have them. My advice, mind your own business and don’t let the opinions of others consume you anymore. Be who you are, do what you do and be grateful for the people who appreciate you just the way you are. That my friends is a good plan.
I had a conversation with an old friend yesterday. It reminded me that we have taken a bite out of the poison apple and we have grown to believe things that are just not true. For some reason, we are under the conclusion that anything worthwhile involves work beyond what is feasible, sweat and tears that drain our soul and a workload that is beyond comprehension. The truth is we are not meant to struggle. Look around you. There is one thing that is really lacking when it comes to most people and that is the quality of the life they are living. We are so overworked, overburdened, and over scheduled. We don’t even have time to sit down and breathe anymore. Our kids are cutting themselves and committing suicide at an alarming rate and the stress levels have reached a record high. Life is meant to enjoy the moments. You are meant to be happy and content. Let go of this belief that you have to destroy yourself to have something worthwhile in the future. The future is so uncertain. For some, it is much shorter than they ever imagine and for others, it takes years to realize they have wasted so much of their precious time. Find balance. There is nothing wrong with hard work but when it is causing you to struggle, that is the time to step back and decide if it’s time to make some changes to protect your own well being.
I watch it everyday. Trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing is killing spirits. Someday, I hope everyone finds the moment when they can take a deep breath and say I am good enough just the way I am. My life is wonderful just the way it is.
Right now I am sitting in Starbucks and there is a college age girl having a conversation at the table next to me. She is distraught. “I feel like I will never fit in.” Those are her words and I hear it all the time. I see it with my own teen. Life and people are structured in a way to not fit in. The journey is about the ability to let go of trying and be just be who you are. For years people struggle to be part of a crowd but when you really take a good hard look at it, is it something you really want to belong to? Life is hard and people are plagued by stress and unhappiness. Look at people when you are out and about. Look into their eyes. If you pay attention, you will notice the light has become very dim. People’s eyes used to shine. Their whole being used to shine and now there is just a lot of dull.
Don’t fall victim trying to be who you aren’t and what you aren’t. Find a way to feel special in your own skin on terms that only you set. Look for the good in yourself and you will eventually start to see it in others. Point it out, make people feel good and in turn they will pass it on. One kind word or one good deed can change a persons entire day. Be that reason for someone and do it today. The world is depending on you.
Be who you are. You can apologize for your actions but never, ever apologize for what makes you you. We all live different lives. We all take different paths. Isn’t is amazing to know that no two people could ever be the same? Find pride in your uniqueness. Be grateful and love yourself like you’ve never loved anything else before. When you can master that, you automatically start to love your life as well. You will see that every single moment has led to the person you are today and you know what? You are perfect the way you are. I don’t mean in your actions but who you really are on the inside, the part that many will never get to know. Open your heart and let people in. Love completely and forgive often. Shine like the brightest star in the sky. I promise, people will notice.