I am reminded today not to look back. I don’t live there anymore and nothing good could come from glancing over my shoulder. I must look in the direction I want to go and put one foot in front of the other even if it’s only a baby step at a time. I don’t have time for regrets. I don’t have the energy to nurse the old wounds that are ready and willing to rip wide open if I give them enough attention. I cannot enjoy today if I am constantly traveling back to yesterday. Right now I am at peace as I sit here on this beach and feel the waves washing over my feet. My heart is full as the sound of the waves keeps me grounded in the here and now. It is well with my soul and I am grateful for this moment. Eyes forward to the direction I am going…
I often get the impression that people feel misunderstood. They really believe that people don’t understand what is really going on beneath the surface. They feel judged and think people only notice the bad things and overlook all the good.
I went to a beach a few years ago in Texas and noticed some large trucks parked in the sand. I thought it was kind of odd but didn’t really understand until I woke the next morning. I was surprised to see that there was a massive amount of seaweed separating the sand and the water. The trucks were there to take the seaweed away to make it easier for the people to get to the water.
People only see what you allow them to see. Your actions, your mannerisms and your behaviors are your surface. People do not have the time or energy to grab a shovel and dig through all the layers to see what’s inside. It is your job to make sure what is on your surface is the same as what lies beneath.
In hindsight, I really believe if that seaweed was not removed, I would have turned around, got in my car, and just drove home. Some things are just too much work. And if the appearance isn’t even something that seems pleasant, why would anyone even take the time to be there at all? And what a shame really, because once I got beyond the green stuff, the water was just beautiful.
Be consistent. Stop blaming everyone around you for not understanding who you are. It is your job to show them. If your actions paint a picture of seaweed, then that is what they will see. But, if you paint a picture of a beautiful beach, they will notice that too. People see what they see for a reason. Pay attention and if you don’t like the reflection then it is up to you to paint a new scene. You are the artist and the art. You are your own creation so what are you going to create?
Sometimes it’s the little things that warm the soul. The other night I was sitting outside watching a gorgeous sunset. My focus was completely disturbed from the noise coming the yard behind me. It was the sound of three small children laughing. Not just a gentle chuckle but a full blown belly laugh. I had to take a few moments to just sit there and smile. It brought me back to my own childhood and times I too shared that laughter. The pure joy of having fun and being fully present in the given moment. I wish I could have bottled that laughter up.
Sometimes, as adults, we become so serious that we forget to play. We bury that side of ourselves underneath a well dressed, mature interior that sucks the youth and the fun right out of our aging bodies.
Tomorrow we leave for the beach. I am going to try my best to leave the adult in me home and live the adventure through my childlike self. To be in each moment and take time to splash and laugh and yes, maybe even play. Why not right? Life is serious enough so why not try something a little bit different.
This week I was blessed enough to visit the beach. I sat there quietly watching the waves gently flowing in and out. There are moments that I am completely present, where I can be at peace in the moment and experience pure joy. We know these moments when we are lucky enough to experience them, and this was one of those moments for me. I glanced over at Chase and he had written his name in large letters in the sand. I imagined writing my own name boldly in the sand. I watched as the gentle waves slowly erased the clarity of the letters. I thought about our lives here on earth and how insignificant each one of us truly is. We get caught up in our habits, our moods, our emotions, our routines while slowly time erases the memory of who we are. What do we do with our gift of time? Each moment, second, hour counts. It’s the one thing we can never get back. I think the humanness inside all of us robs us of precious time. We get so caught up in the memory of our past and the apprehension of our future, that this moment right now slips away while we are not looking. I wonder if people still notice my name. Do they see it boldly standing out in the sand on a beautiful beach? Or do they see it fading away one moment at a time where the winds of change and the certainty of the tide washes it away? What happens when the people we know and love are all gone? What happens to our name, our identity, the person we once were after our name can no longer be seen? It almost pains me to think about it. Truth is we are insignificant. This should be a lesson to our selfish selves and the me that is way bigger than we actually are. We are all guilty. We are all human. I struggle to find a way to be better and do better. I have so many answers that come easily when I am writing. But that ME, that part that resists change and stubbornly plants my feet in the sand, leaves me sinking until I am so buried I can barely move. Stuck, we become stuck when our ME takes over. Wouldn’t it be liberating to just surrender to each moment and live each one without regret. We have those moments and they feel good. If I could write something on my hand it would be the word time. A reminder to choose better in each moment, to choose better words, feelings, thoughts and interactions. Would it make a difference? Would I be better and do better? I guess the choice is now….