In a time where so many of us see the world differently, how can you be sure your version is right? Why are you so positive that you are the one thinking logically and others are not thinking clearly? Have you even ever asked yourself this question? We only know what we are open to hearing information about but are most of us truly open to hearing information that contradicts our personal opinion? I watch people swear with absolute assertion that something is matter of fact even when half the population sees the same situation in an opposite manner. Could it be that half of us are right and the other half are just plain crazy? We really need to start thinking about this. Or could it be that we only focus on the so called people and facts that feed our narrative so we never see the complete picture at all? Something to think about.
Have you ever considered that the people you are judging are not the problem but maybe it’s your perception of them that is the real problem? Sometimes we create a narrative in our head about someone or a group of people that we convince ourselves is the word of God. Do you think if you had a conversation with those people that they would agree with your analysis of who they are and what they actually believe compared to what you believe to be true about them? There is way too much assuming going on, generalizations that are destroying relationships and further dividing people into boxes they don’t come close to fitting into. I am actually surprised by the people actively engaging in this every single day. Are we so pompous to believe that we know what is in someone else’s heart and that we have the right to look down on them because our ego allows us to believe they are below us by our own selfish standards? It’s easy to twist some aspects of a situation to validate our own viewpoint. So I ask you to answer one, simple question:
Have you ever been wrong about someone?
Maybe the healing can start there. Maybe real growth begins with acknowledging the fact that maybe, just maybe it’s the way we see something that is what is really wrong. Are you brave and real enough to be honest? Looking forward to the comments.
I have been so proud of the fact I have avoided useless conversations on social media. We all have our breaking point though, that moment when we have to speak the truth even when we know we will be on the receiving end of a public, brutal verbal beating. I am just really getting tired of people who call other people bigots and haters. Everyone has a very valid reason to believe in the things they do and why do we think we have the right to call someone names and assume we know the reason people feel the way we do? So it’s not right for haters to be haters but yet this small group of people hate the people who they call haters? What the hell is going on here? Do we really put our meaningless opinions and views before our respect for another human being who is maybe different from who we are? Is that not the same thing in disguise but we are too busy throwing sticks and stones to realize we are the very thing we claim to despise? Who do people think they are calling other people names? Are we in elementary school out on the playground? Yes I am offended because I know several people who feel very different ways and I don’t consider them haters. I do respect them enough to consider their points and views are valid too and I have no right to decide who is right and who is wrong. Just my useless two cents. But seriously, stop the name calling. It makes you look small.
Guilt is the enemy. If I wrote down the list of things I feel guilty about in a week, I could fill an entire book. What is guilt exactly and where does it stem from?
This is how Wikipedia defines guilt:
Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse.
Back to the where does it stem from part. Only I make the choice to decide if something I say or do is beneath the standards I set for myself. The enemy is not guilt, the enemy is me and I need to replace that re-occurring wasteful thought with a healthier, more inspirational one. It’s so important to practice kindness and compassion and it’s easy for me to do when it comes to others. Why then, am I so darn hard on myself?
How about you? Do you feel guilt often? How do you handle those feelings when they come up?
My entire life, every thing I have ever done has been influenced by what I believe. Now I find myself in my mid forties, questioning everything I once held sacred. I can’t help but wonder how many of those beliefs have limited me in some way? How different would my life look if I had been open to the things I wouldn’t consider before? The older I get, the more I realize how little I know. The older I get, the more willing I am to learn. This year I am going to do my best to be open to all possibilities. No more limiting my own life because of a couple random thoughts in my own crazy manipulative head. What do you think? Have your beliefs limited you in any way?
I have blogged about this so many times that it’s starting to be painful. I watch people all around me desire a different life, different circumstances, a new outcome. What they fail to see is that they keep living the same misery over and over again while getting the same unfortunate results. Why me they cry? I’m such a victim. I just don’t get it. I’ve said this before, 1+2 will always be three. If you keep plugging the same numbers or same mistakes into the same equation, guess what answer/outcome you’ll end up with? It may look different but 2+1=3 too.
So what can you do to make the changes you really desire? Something different! Start by taking your power back and accepting accountability for your own life. Take that finger you so eagerly point at everyone else and point it so hard back at yourself that you poke out your own eye. Stop being in denial about how YOU are ruining your own life by living the same whoa is me scenario over and over again.
One thing I have learned that has completely changed my life is that I cannot change anyone else. I do however have the power to change myself, my thinking, beliefs, my life. If you want change, it’s up to you. If you keep living in the same unsatisfying patterns, it’s because of you.
DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! Be your own hero. Save yourself before it’s too late.
1) Do you feel personally attacked or offended when someone has a viewpoint that differs from your own?
2) Do you get angry or feel resentful when someone disagrees with you?
Why in the world am I asking these questions? It’s taken me a very long time to learn the real meaning of agreeing to disagree. If I would blog about something important to me and someone would disagree, I used to take it very personally. Now, I am comfortable in the things I believe while at the same time understanding that believing something does not make it true or right for anyone else. I have also learned to listen to someone else’s viewpoint in a way I can really understand where he or she is coming from, NOT with the intent of arguing or trying to change anyone’s mind. Listening and trying to be understanding and empathetic when it comes to what makes someone think the way they do or act the way they act can develop into a deep respect for each other’s differences. If we go beyond the words and really understand the passion behind a particular belief, maybe we won’t be able to agree but we may be able to better understand. Mutual respect, couldn’t we all use a bit more of that. Empathy, kindness…spread more of that. Someone has to do it, why not YOU?