When the World Leaks In…

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As I woke up to complete chaos, I pondered, how in the world do I keep the crazy going on all around me outside of me? How do I remain in a state of inner peace when I am being shot in the head by gigantic spitballs by the enormous straws aimed directly for me surrounding me from every angle? It has been a question I have not been able to find an answer to, at least if I am being honest. Sure I go to yoga and I meditate and I blog and take time for myself but time has made me a much weaker target. I used to be really strong, able to let most things roll off my back, but now I am weak. As much as I hate to admit it, I can feel the foundation crumbling under my feet. How can I remain grounded when the ground is breaking up from underneath me? There must be a hole in me someplace where the outer world leaks directly into my inner world. That place that was once safe and private has become exposed to the toxic stress of the outside world. And how does it make me feel? Sick and toxic on the inside too. 

My mantra for today:

As I breathe in and out, I am reminded to let everything pass through me. I will not hold onto my breath or anything else I am faced with today. I am strong and this moment will be much different from the next one. Breathe and let it go with each breath.

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A Breath of Life

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I love this time of year. Everywhere I look is a sign of life slowly creeping back in. The grass is starting to show a few shades of green and if you look closely at the trees, the first few blooms of spring are giggling, dangling there on the ends of the branches, teasing to come out. As I was sitting in the hot tub tonight, I was filled with awe. I watched the golden hue fade to dark as the sun fell beneath the horizon. I watched the clouds gently glide across the sky as the light caught them at just the right moment to make them appear like big, fluffy ocean waves. I saw the first star twinkle so effortlessly in the sky and for the first time in awhile, it felt wonderful to just breathe. When we are in nature, when we are fortunate to catch the gentle unfolding of time, when we can sit in silence and stare at the canvas before us painted so perfectly, flawless in its beauty, we are suddenly reminded that we are part of it too. That beauty, that peace, that magnificence is in each and every one of us and it is only when we breath the same rhythm and slow down to the natural pace of the universe do we remember that we are made of the same things. I am grateful when I am not controlled by the clock, when time becomes a stillness, and I have found that moment to just pause and take in everything around me, bottling it up and filling me with the energy all around me as I sigh to myself and take one last amazing breath before I walk back into the house and get on with the rest of the day.