I’ve been recognizing the need to just walk away. I mentioned earlier my new task of unbecoming who I am. There comes a time when you have to throw in the towel and step away. I am quiet by nature. I am one with the quiet and noise makes me feel absolutely crazy inside. I realized after spending too much time on homework once again, the incessant amount of noise my son makes while attempting to do work is excruciating for me. Part of me knows all too well that if he would just sit quietly and do the work, it would take him a lot less time. He just doesn’t stop. If he’s not humming or singing then he’s probably talking out loud to himself. I decided to go for a short walk just to get away from the noise. I got about three houses down when I heard the screaming. There is a boy, high school age, who lives in that house. He too is always making noise. I realize even though we are all different, we each have a unique set of challenges. The boy is autistic and I often see and hear him standing by his mailbox waiting for the bus. He screams all day long and he always seems to be outside. It’s easy to think we are the only one in the world who gets frustrated or has to deal with problems but I was reminded tonight, that’s just not true. The important thing is how we deal with those problems. We can react the same way day after day or we can find a new solution along with some healthy coping mechanisms. Stepping away helps to see the turmoil that is going on inside. Sometimes it’s necessary to be a spectator in your own life. Only by standing to the side and observing from a distance can we really get a glimpse of the whole picture. There are some things we cannot change. We cannot fix everything we think needs fixing because to someone else, it may appear that nothing was ever really broken. So my advice tonight is that when you are feeling like you don’t have any control, step away and go for a walk. Put some distance between you and whatever it is that is driving you crazy. Give yourself permission to take a break and breathe in calm and exhale the rest. You are stronger than you think so start thinking differently.
Today, I will be conscious of every interaction. I am going to breathe before I speak, pause before I react and forgive myself when I am less than perfect.
What will your mantra be today?
The world is spinning. It’s a blur. I can hear sirens in the distance barely audible underneath the sound of chirping birds. I can hear the receptionist on the phone and I can feel the “busy” going on around me. But in this moment, as my son is getting his bracket fixed and I sit in this orthodontist office, I find escape. I find a moment to pause and hide from the crazy all around me. It is a time to regroup and refocus and take some time to breathe in the calm. In with calm, out with crazy. And so I sit here quietly feeling the genuine gratitude I have for this moment.
Yesterday I was having a really difficult day. I was anxious and nothing I did was working to shake it off. At the beginning of yoga, the instructor asked us to lie back. What she said next was a beautiful gift to me. I’d like to share those words with you and maybe you can remember them in a time of need.
“For the next 60 minutes, all you have to do is breathe. Nothing exists inside this room. There are no to do lists. Yesterday is not invited and tomorrow is not welcome either. You are here, safe right now and all that is required is breathing in and out.”
The amount of pressure I walked in with started to float away. Right there, in that single moment I felt release. And for the next 60 minutes, all I did was breathe.
Today, someone said something that hit me pretty hard. Imagine if you held onto your breath. What would happen if you held on to just your inhalation? Breathing is an important reminder that we are naturally meant to let things go. As you go throughout your week be aware of anything you are holding onto, whether it be feelings, emotions, thoughts, whatever. Focus on your breath from time to time and let it serve as a reminder that we do have the ability to take things in and immediately let them go. See if it makes a difference in your day. It has already made a noticeable one in mine. It’s the little lessons that bring about the most significant change. There is always something to discover and learn if you don’t make the mistake of assuming you already know everything there is to know.