Conflict

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Conflict cannot survive without your participation ~ Wayne Dyer

Are you the kind of person who engages in conflict? A few years ago, I would have said I was most definitely a fighter but the older I get, the more I see conflict as a complete waste of time. I have learned to pick my battles. They are few and far between and slowly but surely, I am learning to zip my lip. I don’t have to have the last word and I don’t  have the need to prove I’m right. Most of the time it comes down to perception. It’s okay to have different opinions. Conflict doesn’t solve a single thing. It never has and it never will. I know if I don’t want to play the conflict game then I have the choice to sit it out. It always comes down to the choices we make. Conflict or no conflict? It’s up to you.

Knock Knock

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I had lunch with a friend today who shared a brilliant thought with me. I wanted to share it because I know I am going to apply it to my own life.

Every interaction is like a knock on the door. We are open and kind and we answer the door. Someone is there on the other side holding out a present. There are two kinds of packages. The first package is beautiful. It is wrapped in gorgeous paper and covered with a shiny gold bow. The second package was picked up out of the garbage can. It is covered in junk and growing mold. Other garbage has started to cling to it. It is in that moment we have to make a choice. We hold the power to accept the package or turn it away and shut the door.

This is how one very smart mother taught her kids to deal with people who say and do kind things vs. kids who do and say mean and hurtful things. When her daughter comes home and talks about someone who has hurt her feelings, the mother asks, why would you accept such a horrible package? Hand it back and close your door. It’s so simple and so genius at the same time.

I have always told myself that words are just words. Only I get to decide what meaning to give them. If someone says something unkind about me and it is untrue, why would I get my feelings hurt because the words hold no value. They simply aren’t true. But to be able to visualize kindness or unkindness in the form of a package and to feel the freedom in my choice to accept or decline, places the power right back into my own two hands.

 Next time someone gives you a compliment, grab that shiny package and feel good. Next time someone holds out a rotten package, hand it back and close the door. Don’t forget to lock it before turn and you walk away.

Do You Buy Into The Happiness Myth?

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There is a happiness myth that many of us buy into. 

Happiness is being someplace else. 

Happiness is being someone else.

 Just today I was thinking, if only we had a few more weeks of summer vacation. If only I could lose these 5 pounds. It only it was a couple of degrees cooler. 

Our inner voice loves to complain and remind us that the conditions around us are imperfect. We are imperfect. Everyone around us is imperfect. It’s okay to accept we are perfectly flawed. Almost everything is and isn’t that okay? 

Isn’t this idea we have of perfection make believe in the first place? Perfect is what we tell ourselves perfect is so if we make the decision to believe our life is perfect just as it is, than maybe we can start to buy into that one too. We cannot let our level of happiness ride on our perception of perfection. Believe me, we will be let down every single time. 

It’s time to stop defining, comparing, measuring and just start living in the little moments between our misguided thoughts. If onlys will rip the happiness out of each and everyone of us every single time. It is only when we choose to be happy right now with the way things are right now that we ever learn to embrace true happiness. Happiness is not conditional. It is a choice we have to make time and time again if we really want to feel a smile from the inside out.