Lead with Love

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This mindset that we have to punish people and inflict pain on those whose views differ with our own is the exact thinking that leads someone to shoot into a crowd of innocent people. Why do we feel someone deserves to pay? Why do we have to jump on the bandwagon of asserting our own consequences? Airlines, rental cars… these people are just as guilty when it comes to thinking it is our right to personally manipulate and control others. Disguise it anyway you wish but this is the source of a scary problem that gets worse every single day. When you declare sides, you push away solutions and you create war. When only one side can be a winner, we all lose when we are one country, one people and we lose sight of what we were trying to accomplish in the first place because we get lost somewhere in our desire to fight. Imagine if we all came together behind something that would lead to a change directly in response to the problem we claim we are trying to eliminate. Look around at where people are putting their energy. Those things will not stop the next shooting. Lead with love, not anger and then things will fall into place. Why is that so hard to understand? Lead with love in your words, lead with love in your thoughts and follow through with love in your actions. Whatever you bring to the table is all you will ever have to serve to others. It’s a tough lesson to swallow. Time to eat!

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Fight or Flight

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 Provoke: to cause a reaction, especially an angry one.

 There’s always one. No matter what you do or how hard you try, just the mere sight of a particular person can make you go from a normal human being to a raging, angry maniac in 2.5 seconds. You can feel the heat rush to your face and you lose all control because they’ve learned to push your buttons with their calculating words. It happened today. That person barged into my life, put up his boxing gloves and said lets go one round. Maybe it didn’t happen exactly that way but that’s how it felt. I could feel my body tense up and my stomach start to turn and I made the choice to walk away. It’s only a fight if I choose to participate and today I chose to step out of the ring. Everyday I am learning that I have more power over my life that I ever imagined. I’ve learned the value of sitting one out and not always being the one who volunteers to take one for the team. I am making wiser choices and one day at a time, my wounded soul is learning to heal. Sometimes the best thing you can do in a fight is to just walk away from it.

Conflict

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Conflict cannot survive without your participation ~ Wayne Dyer

Are you the kind of person who engages in conflict? A few years ago, I would have said I was most definitely a fighter but the older I get, the more I see conflict as a complete waste of time. I have learned to pick my battles. They are few and far between and slowly but surely, I am learning to zip my lip. I don’t have to have the last word and I don’t  have the need to prove I’m right. Most of the time it comes down to perception. It’s okay to have different opinions. Conflict doesn’t solve a single thing. It never has and it never will. I know if I don’t want to play the conflict game then I have the choice to sit it out. It always comes down to the choices we make. Conflict or no conflict? It’s up to you.

Getting Real

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Sometimes when there is conflict, we find ourselves dragged into the middle of it like a moth to a flame. Have you ever thought about the role you take on when it comes to resolving or contributing to the conflict at hand? Ask yourself honestly, do you fuel the fire or put out the flame? Is there anything you can do differently to help bring peace or anything you can stop doing to prevent the conflict from getting bigger than it has to be? You CAN make a difference. What KIND of difference will you make?

I’ll Do Me And You Do You

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I realized something very important yesterday. When you are honest about your life, your feelings, your flaws and your struggles, you are opening up a door that some will be all too willing to enter. You are taking an enormous risk that people will judge and belittle you because maybe you are experiencing something they cannot even fathom. You also allow someone to compare their life to yours and make you feel crappy about your own. So why do we do it? Why do I do it? I believe that writing has become an avenue of therapy and self discovery for me. It is an avenue that allows me to explore my own life, MY life which consists of so many thoughts, feelings, decisions, regrets and just about anything else you can think of. It’s about my perspective and lessons I have learned through the people in my life or my own experiences. I don’t have to explain that and I sure as heck will not apologize for it. It helps me figure things out and deal with some issues that I can only face once the words are written on a page. There is nothing more rewarding than a reader being deeply touched by something I write. When I can help someone else while I am helping myself, I consider that a wonderful gift. Sure, it might open my own life up to finger pointing and criticism but in the end, the positives far outweigh the negatives. People will always judge. They will continue to try and make you feel inferior and that’s okay. They may use that knowledge against you. I’ve never discovered a way to avoid that. Tell your truth anyway. Be who you are and tell it the way it is and never stop for a second to wonder what anyone else thinks. I’ve always used this line for as long as I can remember. “If you don’t give someone a reason to talk about you, they will look until they find one anyway.” Be you and do it proudly.