Sometimes Being Mom Hurts 

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This is the last unfortunate story I will share about my week. I will start by saying every day is a new day and every week, a new week. What does not completely destroy us will have to make us stronger. Life gives us no other choice.

After getting some difficult news earlier in the week, I pulled myself together to go to Kayleigh’s volleyball game. That’s what parents do, no matter what they are going through on the inside, they stay strong and steady on the outside. The season is practically over and I have seen my daughter play in one game. I could see the pain on her face as she sat on that bench. She was the only girl not subbed in the entire game. Her posture said it all, defeat. She lost so much more than just the game that horrible night. I could see her fighting back the tears as I tried my best to hide my own. I can’t for the life of me figure out why this coach has been so unkind. I am so honest when it comes to my kids strengths and weaknesses and she really is just as good as any other girl on the team. She has given up so many hours of her time, sometimes going to three games a week and forced to sit there while freshman, and varsity play as well. Did I mention staying up until one in the morning to do the work she was not allowed to do at the game? Has it been worth it? Nope. Not to sit on the bench game after game trying her best to high five her teammates and put on a happy face.

She came to us after the game and told us she wanted to quit. I know there are some parents out there that are firm believers, if you start something, you should finish it. I used to feel that way too. As the years have gone by, I realize how important it is to make sure the activities and people around her build her self esteem, not rip it away. There comes a time when you say, this isn’t fair and you do deserve better, your time is important, you’re important. There comes a point when you don’t allow someone to take away what isn’t theirs to take. Shame on anyone who would purposely do this to any child. Sometimes I think people working in any capacity with kids need a thorough mental exam before we entrust them with the most precious thing in our little world. 

Volleyball meant so much to her. She was so excited to get back on the court and I was thrilled to see her follow her heart and do what she really loves. Such a shame. Needless to say, she went to practice the next day and told her coach exactly how she felt and what did her coach say? I understand you not wanting to be on the team anymore, finalizing the decision instead of having a conversation. Once again, she walks away from another sport, another coach who clearly sends the message, I don’t believe in you. You are not enough. What can I say except my heart still hurts. Two difficult lessons in the span of a week and another part of my heart broke watching her in pain. The toughest job in the world is being a mom. I am more than her mom. I am her advocate, her cheering squad, her shoulder to lean on and the one person in the world who will always be here for her, believing in her. I pray loving her will be enough. 

 

Committment

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Commitments. We make them when we are full of life, overflowing with enthusiasm. Sometimes though, the spark to keep us loyal burns out and we stand there with nothing but a choice that is ours to make. Commitments come in many forms. They can bind us to a relationship or be as simple as a promise to work out three times a week. I have found that the most valuable commitment is to myself. When I say I’m going to do something, I must disregard the bombardment of excuses and follow through on my commitments. I made them because I wanted to, because I knew whatever I was committing to would better who I am. Do I always follow through? Nope, sometimes my overthinking gets the best of me and I talk myself out of the exact thing I worked so hard to talk myself into. Today, however, I will honor my commitment to myself and at the end of the day, I know I will be very grateful.

Commitment Huh?

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There seems to be a growing trend I am noticing among todays teens.  Quitting. When things seem to get a little bit boring and somewhat uncomfortable, they don’t think twice and bail. They switch schools, they quit sports and the list goes on and on. When I grew up, my mother was a strong advocate for the “you signed up and now you will see it through” club. There wasn’t an option to quit in the middle of something because I was tired or bored or having a bad stretch of life. Quitting just wasn’t an option. If I didn’t like school for a time, I had to go anyway, suck it up, do what was expected of me. I didn’t have the option to run back and forth between schools so I had a new and exciting social life. It’s quite disturbing to me that there is a widespread lack of follow through. Can you imagine the divorce rate a few years from now when these teens are already showing a lack of commitment in so many of things they are part of? If they don’t like something, they will choose another option. Sure, I guess you could say this could be a good thing If used properly but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Maybe they have a chance to be really happy because they won’t allow themselves to become stuck in a place that does not feel good. I just wish, with my own two kids that my commitment to commitment will be enough. I believe character is so important and if you aren’t dedicated to something, where will your life lead?