And The Color of the Dress IS….

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It’s the middle of the night here and I cannot sleep. I decided to surf the net and it was bombarded with the question regarding a color of a dress. Is it blue and black or white and gold? I can tell you that my eyes saw white and gold but does it surprise me that people cannot agree on the color? Seriously, can we agree on anything these days? More and more I am realizing that our brains just work different ways. When it comes to perception, many times people interpret the same exact things entirely different ways. Can we trust our senses or even our beliefs? My guess is probably not. We have to learn to agree to disagree and just accept the fact that no two people see the same thing exactly alike. I’m not sure why people are freaking out about this ridiculous dress. Some say it is some sort of trick. I say it is a perfect example and a blatant reminder that we can’t seem to agree on much anymore. We need to switch our focus from who is right to openly respecting the differences in other human beings. My right is not your right and when it comes down to it, it has nothing to do with that at all. Our perceptions are unique and faulty and there’s not much more to say about it.

Woman Are Apples, Men Are Bananas

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A funny thing happened today that reminded me how different men and woman really are, how different people are. We were at my daughters swim meet and my husband was trying to tell me something pretty important. He is important. What he has to say is important but the reality is 24 kids swim an event and only 16 advance to the finals and I couldn’t put the meet on pause. He got frustrated when I wasn’t looking at him and mid-sentence he started saying things like “and then he hit me with an ax and I started to bleed and….” I cut him off and told him I could hear every word he was speaking to me while I watched three heats of 8 kids swim, tabulated the times to see who would advance while listening to fans screaming in my ears and all at the same time paying attention to every detail. The fact is woman multi task. Seldom do we focus on any one thing at a time. Our minds are always racing while at the same time, we are performing several tasks simultaneously. I told him if I ever do stare at him while he is talking, I am either sleeping with my eyes open or meditating but definitely NOT listening. That is when he shared with me that if he is not looking directly at me when I talk and doing nothing else then he probably isn’t listening to a single word. No wonder he never hears me when he is driving or on his computer.

We learn something new every single day, even when we don’t think there’s anything more to learn about the person we love. The fact is men and women are just different and there would be a lot less frustration if we could really come to terms to that simple fact. We think different, we act different and eventually, like it or not, we learn to adapt.

Life Hands Us Many Lessons

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So my mom does this little thing that made me think about something today. Sometimes when we are having a conversation about something she doesn’t want to hear or I have an opinion completely different than hers, she will say “Goodbye Kim” and hang up the phone. I noticed also when I blog about something that people have strong opinions toward I will often lose a follower or two. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen. It makes we wonder why we cannot tolerate listening to opinions that are different from our own. I will say this. My opinion is not the word of God. It is neither right nor wrong. In fact, it isn’t really even that important. It is just the way I feel about a particular situation. If it stirs emotion in you the reader, than somewhere it strikes a cord with you personally. My opinion is only offensive if you allow it to be. My opinion and words can only inspire you if you choose to allow them to. Otherwise, I am just a simple girl writing down some feelings and words.

It’s okay to disagree, really it is. But to personally attack someone who feels differently than you takes things to a whole new level. I am open to others opinions. I will respectfully listen and I will respond. I will not however stoop to the point that I disrespect a person over a silly disagreement over something at the end of the day that really doesn’t personally affect or concern me. People need to find a way to be more open to communication. We have fallen victim to arguing and insulting and somewhere along the way, respect for each individual has been lost. Respecting someone does not mean you sacrifice who or what you believe for the sake of giving someone else what he or she wants. Respect, at least to me, does not involve one side ending in a win or defeat. Respect is agreeing to disagree or not expecting someone to sacrifice their beliefs for yours. Respect is not always getting your way and being okay with that. Respect is sometimes walking away from an argument or a fight and sometimes just choosing to remain quiet. Respect is never offending another human being or assuming your needs and wants trump anyone else’s . We are a selfish society and we all feel entitled to life exactly the way we feel it should be. There are way too many people for that to ever result in anyone ever being truly satisfied. It’s a tug if war. Pull a little and give some slack. We can’t pull and pull and pull or we will become so tired that we will just crash. Don’t make things personal, especially when it comes to a silly opinion. Stopping following someone because of one post where your beliefs strongly disagree says quite a bit about our society today. We only want to surround ourselves with people who believe the same and want the same and maybe even act the same. Who are we to play God and to judge and pick and choose the parts we see in other people. They are made up of so many layers on so many levels and because you may support something that I don’t should not separate us. It should simply be noted that you support something I don’t. It shouldn’t define us or our relationships but sadly, we are not yet bigger than our own stifling skin. Maybe someday we will truly learn to love, appreciate and respect our differences as much as we do what makes us the same. Maybe. Maybe not.

I Saw The Sign

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Tonight, on the way to pick up my daughter, I passed a few people holding signs. Pray To End Abortion. I couldn’t help but wonder how that would change even a single mind about the issue who has already mentally and spiritually decided. It’s just a silly hunch, but I have a feeling all the prayers in the world would not stop abortion. We can’t make things stop or will them to stop. We are all so very different and to stop anything at all, we would all have to be the same or at least be on the same page. What are the odds of that happening?

I thought about how many signs I could hold urging people to change what I feel needs to be changed. My signs would say something like this: Pray To End Hatred, Pray to Stop Injustice, Pray To End Murder and Violence and Terrorism and Harm. I could probably line enough signs up to make it halfway around the globe. Would they change anything? Probably not. There are a brave few who think they will though and I admire their attempt. I give anyone credit for fighting the fight. The truth though is we cannot change people. We cannot change who they are and who they’ve become and the long, rugged road that led them there in the first place. There are too many of us to want the same things and have the same ideals. It just doesn’t seem possible to get everyone to agree. Many will try but most of us know the truth. We are coming into a time where we are being forced to accept one another’s differences like it or not. We can’t go on feuding and fighting and attacking one another because of our different views. We cannot inflict our will or our idea of right onto anyone else.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what I feel so passionately about to give up my time and hold a sign up in plain sight in the busiest of intersections. I decided my sign would read a bit different than the ones I saw today. Here is an example; Be Kind, Love One Another and Please Try NotTo Judge. We are all imperfect in the most beautiful way. What would your sign say?