I’m starting to really believe that it is necessary to remove toxic people from my life if I want to be happy. The problem is there are some people that I cannot remove so I have to get the relationship moving in a different direction. Like it or not, we teach people how to treat us. If we drop everything we are doing to meet every immediate need of the people around us, we teach them we are not important. How do we learn to set up new boundaries and lay down the foundation for a new mutually respectful relationship? Things don’t change over night. That is the one thing I know to be true. How do we set even the smallest boundary when before there has been none? I have this visual of my little dog. He is so small that he can easily slip through the fence in the back yard. For years he has escaped and roamed freely wherever he chooses to go. What if tomorrow I put up an electric fence? Is that fair to the dog? Is that how we need to set boundaries in our own life, in a shocking way that will not slip from the attention of the person we need to respect us? Or, should we do it gradually, expecting a little more as time goes by.
Living with teenagers can be pretty hard. They are self centered and everything about them is a big deal. At least that’s what they believe anyway. It’s important to me that they do not take what I do for them for granted. Is it wrong to want to hear please and thank you and see a little appreciation from time to time? I am more than just mom. I am a woman with my own needs and a human being who does not want to feel like I am continuously at the mercy of the people around me. That is when the relationship goes bad. That is when you stop feeling love for the people in your life because you are bogged down with resentment and anger. Those feeling just don’t feel good and the aftermath is damaging for everyone involved. Time to set some boundaries. Time to teach people, with the way I treat myself, that I am important and I have my own separate life aside from the roles I have in this play of life. Where to start. I guess it is like paving a new road. Sometimes the road is so damaged, it is necessary to rip that one out and start anew. Oh, the back up that can cause. Weeks and months of being inconveniently stuck in traffic, but when that road is done….the drive is much smoother. Time for a smoother drive. It’s long overdue.